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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

So would it be fair to say that your body is doine exactly what it's meant to? @NightFury

Please be gentle on yourself. Recovery doesn't happen overnight - not in my experience anyway.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It possible is @tyme I would like it to give me a bit of a break though...

I think sometimes, that's exactly what I start to think - like...I celebrate a win and then realise that I still feel nergh and that things can still feel tough.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'd really encourge you to keep paving the neural pathway in your brain that allows you to recognise the power of reframing.

What I've found in my experience is that the more I 'exercised' the unhelpful thinking patterns, the stronger they got. It's an easy trap to fall into.

To reverse that, I had to relearn to think - to think in effective ways. And this is what 3 years of therapy helped with.

But prevention is better than cure. @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I think I'm still learning how to do that @tyme it's still very much a work in progress - in fact, I think I'm just at the start.

I don't recognise the thinking patterns yet until someone pulls me up on them, and then I need help to reframe them.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I think because I 'see ahead' (based on my experience) and know that if that pattern of thinking isn't intervened early, it will be very hard to 'undo' later.

What's also good though, is that I feel that once that unhelpful learning pattern is 'undone', then you don't really regress unless you experience some pretty bad event/trauma. @NightFury

When I mean 'intervene' that unhelpful pattern of thinking, it doesn't mean that you are not allowed to think that way. I think the key idea is to be able to redirect it after a way in the form of a reframe so that your brain gets used to it.

Sorry if I'm not making sense!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I kind of get it @tyme I might have to come back to these posts tomorrow, but I kinda get it.

You have to try and catch the thoughts early, and work to reframe them, or it becomes more difficult to do. But once you learn how and get some practice and confidence under your belt, then it's like riding a bike...it's not something you can unlearn unless something triggers it?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Precisely @NightFury .

I cringe when I think of those 15 years I was lost in that unhelpful thinking patterns, all because of CPTSD. I'm so glad I had the therapeutic supports I needed to get out of that pattern because it was a damn hard place to be in!

I'll be off soon, but will catch you next time!

Oh, what's on your goal list tomorow?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme can you check in next time you're about, please?

Tomorrow...

- walk Lu

- buy myself a coffee before work

- work

- study

- maybe go into the city and look at washing machines. (It's on my list for the next few days, just not sure when it'll happen)

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yes sure I'll check-in @NightFury . I'll be on earlier tomorrow. Late arvo instead of late evening.

Your day tomorrow sounds pretty reasonable and achieveable. The coffee? YAY!

With the washing machines, I don't know where you live, but i get everything online now. I hope you find what you need!

Good night!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good night @tyme

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