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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I got some sleep!

I woke up a couple of times still, but I was able to go back to sleep each time. Instead of a couple of hours a sleep, I got maybe five!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Ahhhh! I am so happy!! Do you feel more grounded and at ease today knowing you got some rest? 😍 @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I think I feel more reassured @AuntGlow I now have some support with my sleep and I don't need to stress about it any more. I am trying to just break that pattern of thinking and relax a bit, and relax my thoughts around it because it really was consuming for almost 5 weeks.

I still need to play catch up with my sleep, because I'm working from a deficit, and I still want to aim to have a day off work next week.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I hope you're okay?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I am honestly so relieved for you, because I know exactly how this feels and how awful it can be. You deserve a week of nothing but things that bring you joy, in my humble opinion. 💅

A day off work sounds perfect. @NightFury

I am well! Just a busy bee today haha lots of work and also life-admin occuring in the background. 💕

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

How do I explain it @AuntGlow?

I was so very close to throwing in the towel, I can't really communicate how close it was and how scared of that I was. Today has been lighter. I feel that I have more hope now. I felt so powerless, but now I have support and strategies, and that makes a difference. I'm just a little...hesitant to feel safe in it yet, particularly knowing that I have physical health stuff to deal with now, but it makes a difference.

I wish I could spend a week doing the things that give me joy, but, I have study to catch up on. I'm struggling a lot with motivation for study this week, but I think that's just because of what's been going on and the fact that I need to give myself time to "catch up" on my sleep and build up my reserves again.

I'm glad you're well, it sounds like a busy, yet productive day.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Heya @NightFury ,

Hugs to you.

You're nearly there. It's Thursday now.

How was your goal kicking today?

I had a nice day at the gardens today.

I didn't get much admin work done, but I had an impromptu meeting and now I'm here.

So I'm feeling okayish about stuff.

You?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @tyme

Sounds like the gardens was lovely, and you were productive even if some things were impromptu and unplanned.

I took Luna for a walk, went to work, after work I took my washing to the laundry and washed it, then I came home and threw the ball to Luna for a bit, picked up the dog poo and did a little bit of study before I ran out of spoons.

Today's felt more positive up until this evening.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

What's happening today? Did something happen?

If you look into the human brain, we are prone to go downhill at night with thoughts, stress and anxiety. This is part of evolution whereby as soon as the sun goes down, the people had to be more wary of danger and predators.

So if you can't pinpoint why you are feeling this way, perhaps your body is doing exactly what it was made to do? @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Nothing really happened @tyme I was feeling pretty positive about getting some support from my GP with my sleep and hope that things were going to improve for me. Then I kinda started thinking...my own brain kind of dashed that a little - with this little voice that tells me I still have to go slow and I still have to be careful because...I've been sitting right on the edge and some sleep support might help me to edge back from it a little, but it's going to take some work and some effort to ease back. Got hit with the reality stick.

But generally, I struggle of a night. I feel anxious, and swirly and I feel...heavy tonight. Nothing really happened though.

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