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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Okay, so plenty of time to prep and for us to tell you how amazing you are hehe @NightFury

Yes! @tyme has been giving me all of her strategies for packing and moving (organisation is not my forte 😂)

That's it, you really have made so much progress and I am glad you are able to see it too. I know it's hard, but try and sit with that feeling (even for a minute), and allow it to permeate your entire being - notice what comes up and allow yourself to feel it all (there could be some tears and that's perfectly normal). This will help your body to know that it's safe to feel, well, safe. 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow what I noticed initially come up while I was typing my reply to you and talking about making progress...

It was more of a thought than a feeling...but I spent the last couple of years trying to "fix" me and pushing myself hard even through my triggers and reactions and doing it without the kind of support that I needed. I needed this kind of support, not to "fix" me, but to make the process, the healing more gentle, kinder for me and to me. I just needed to reach out, instead of pushing through.

@AuntGlowI've just been hit with that really heavy, bone-tired feeling.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That's a really wonderful realisation, and proof that compassion and a gentle approach can go so far. So, in saying this, can you be gentle with yourself tonight, allow yourself to rest, and maybe explore this medication you have been given? 🥰 @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I love how you have framed it @NightFury . It's totally along the lines of progress over perfection.

So it sounds like it's not necessary trying harder, but trying something different @NightFury

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YIKES! So sorry @NightFury ! I started writing to you an hour ago and I just checked and realised I never finished writing, nor did I post!!! Argh! My apologies!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

No need to apologise @tyme you guys reply when you can, so I never expect anything instantly or a reply at all.

Yeah, I think there's pressure sometimes to push harder, and push through, but maybe it's about realising what's not working and trying a new direction?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I am going to do just that @AuntGlow

I don't know what's going on, but I just feel so...wiped out. A little bit teary as you said, but I'm just so very exhausted now.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Please rest up @NightFury . I 'feeeeel' your exhaustion.

I know when my iron levels are down, I feel that way. But I don't know what happens with high iron levels.

I hope the physical side of things get sorted out so at least you can focus on your mental health.

I think for me, after I've tried and tried and tried something, and it's not working, I move away from it and try something else. Then at a different time, I might come back to try the the first thing again.

For example, if I tried mentalisation based therapy when I was in my late teens or early 20s, I would've never gone through with the whoel program... only when I was ready in my 30s that is made a real difference.

So even if a strategy/skill 'doesn't' work now, it may work at another time.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm trying not to dr google and freak myself out over the health stuff @tyme so I'm also not sure what happens with high iron levels either.

Thank you for sharing your experience around strategies not initially working, but they may work later.

I'm going to say good night. Sleep well tyme.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I would be wiped out too. As I said, I am very proud of you. 🥰 @NightFury

Get some rest and let me know how your medication goes. I will be back tomorrow morning.

PS: Don't Dr. Google - It's a trap! 😂

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good night @AuntGlow thank you for your support and for holding me up over the last couple of weeks.

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