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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I just read about your latest update in terms of your appointment and the heart monitor @NightFury

I hope you're feeling okayish about it.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme my day was okay. Work is still messy and stressful, but...I ummed and aaaahed about whether to tell anyone, but I found out yesterday that I've been short listed for an interview for a department of education permenant teaching role in 2026. I booked that in today. The last job interview I had came with a big crash when I wasn't successful, so I don't want to get my hopes up... @AuntGlow

Also, I got the things on my to-do list done.

How was your day? Did you make progress on those sticky notes.

And @tyme the heart monitor thing is scary. I have an irregular heart beat, that I already know about. It started or came to my notice...as a result of like a week long anxiety attack about 20 years ago. I was hooked up to machines and tested and found that I have extra beats in my heart. They told me it was nothing to be concerned about and was most likely genetic because my Mum has it and my Nan had it (my Mum's Mum). They put me on medication that I refused to take to deal with the anxiety around it and slow my heart rate down....

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Congrats for being shortlisted @NightFury ! Fingers crossed you get this role. Is it in the same school? You mentioned before that it was a low socio economic school and so there are incentives for staff there.

I thought because of this, you'd be able to secure a permanent role easily - is that right? I know in my area, pretty much anyone who's been around for a year or so get put on permanent roles. But it might be different where you are.

As for the irregular heart beat, I hope it's okay and doesn't give you too many issues. Is this something that a pacemaker is needed for?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme no, I currently work in Catholic Ed, this is for a Government Ed position. The pay is less, honestly, but the idea of it being permenant and not contract is what I need to aim for right now. My brain needs to know that I'll have work next year, so that I can keep my rental and not lose what's become my safe space currently.

Securing a permenant job isn't as easy as it seems. With the Dep of Ed you need to do 8 consecutive terms to be made permenant, with Catholic Ed, you need can apply for a permenant role if there's a role available in the school (aka, someone with a permenant role leaves)

We don't know yet. This heart monitor I have to wear will basically tell us if there's anything structurally wrong - and then if it's not structural and is just a matter of having an irregular heart beat, she can prescribe the med to help me manage my panic attacks.

@tyme I have a question - what happens when you finish the Guided Recovery? I have my last counselling appointment next week.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh @NightFury ,

That makes sense. I totally hear you that a permanent role is so needed to help you feel secure. All the best with your interview. Do you have someone you can work with to help you prep for it?

Also, it makes total sense about the heart monitor too. I hope it all goes well and it's not too much of an issue. I remember having heart troubles a few years back. I was the only young person in the coronary unit in the hospital. It was horrible. The other patients thought I was a nurse and kept asking me to do things. I was in that unit for about 2 weeks so they could monitor my heart rate. My heart rate was really really high.

As for the Guided Recovery, after the completion, there is an endpoint survey and then members are encouraged to join the RecoveryClub (6 months) or the forums (ongoing) which you are already doing. Then, after a year, you can re-apply to do the Guided Recovery again if needed.

How you feeling about it? I still remember your first appointment with Guided Recovery - it felt like only yesterday!

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Short-listed?! Eeeep! This is so exciting. I know you might not want to get your hopes up, but I think even the fact you have been short-listed shows how much you have to offer and that other people see your abilities and appreciate them. Keep us posted, please! @NightFury

I understand why you were having those thoughts. 💛

Yes, exactly!

I would love that. I will try and go sometime this fortnight. I have to pack and move before the 15th as well - wish me luck!

It sounds like she really created a safe space for you? And honestly, you are challenging yourself in such brave ways every time you open up. How does it feel to know you're able to do so? 🤩

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme I don't really have anyone to help me prep for it, but when I spoke to the VP today about finishing early on the day of my interview - she offered to be a referee.

Sounds like a tough experience for you. Heart things are scary. It worked out for you though?

I'm...if I'm honest...it kinda hurts a bit. I feel heard, supported and listened to. I've enjoyed having someone to talk to and have slowly found it easier to talk to my counsellor about the tough things. It's also been nice to be able to reach out via email when I needed support with the bigger things in between appointments. I'm feeling kind of...hesitant/worried to lost that support...but as we've found out over the last few days, I'm pretty sensitive to that at the moment.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I will keep you guys posted. I have a little while to wait @AuntGlow the interview's not until the 3rd of September.

You have a busy few days coming up. Packing and moving is stressful, but I find that it's also a great opportunity to assess what you need and get rid of things that you don't need. It's a great time for a clean out.

I don't know how it feels - it's kind of a glaring indication that I'm making progress. Most of the time, it doesn't feel like that. Sometimes I wonder if things are getting worse and are getting harder and I'm not coping. But, I am able and ready to do some things that I haven't been able to do before - like see a GP and open up to her about what I experience with my mental and physical health.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Sure thing. You're obviously not in Victoria lol. With my sister, as soon as the application date closes, there is a shortlisting, then they book in a time within the same week or so, you do the interview and they let you know on the day or a few days later. Here in Vic, you don't really negotiate times. They just give you a date and you attend. The government pays for you to attend job interviews in teaching here @NightFury

I know in NSW it's also different. I know teachers over there and they don't have a recruitment system like they have in victoria.

It's so interesting. We're all Australian, but each state has their own system. No wonder the WWCC issue is coming into light!

Did you take Luna for a walk today?

What's on your agenda for tomorrow?

Tomorrow, for me:

- going out for coffee at the botanical gardens in the morning

- come back to do some work

- then I'll be on the forums

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I know @tyme systems are different, ways of teaching are different, even at times, the curriculum is different, and nothing aligns. In some states, Tassie teaching registration doesn't transfer and you have to go through that process again if you move to those states. It's complex and it's not uniform.

I did take Luna for a walk. We go every work day and take a break on weekends. It was cold out this morning and wet.

Coffee in the Botanical Gardens sounds lovely.

Tomorrow for me...

- take Luna for a walk

- work

- wash my clothes at the laundry

- study

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