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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow how do I communicate how important it is and the impact that it's having?

I'm going to have to drop the mask somewhat, and that makes me feel really vulnerable, so how do I do that? I need to be able to convey what's happening for me.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

You could bring us in as a point of reference? For example, you could mention that you have been working with the peer support workers here and that there has been a clear impact on your mental/physical wellbeing due to an ongoing lack of sleep, which is why we have recommended a GP visit for more support. I think it would be helpful to let them know you have explored grounding/relaxation strategies and reaching out, but that you're needing more specific care for sleep challenges. You could even say this feels really vulnerable to share, so they can meet you in that place. Does this feel okay to try? @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I told them in my appointment to get a Mental Health Care Plan that I was working with SANE and receiving counselling and support, so yeah, that feels like it's okay to try.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Okay, let me know you go - you've got this! I am here with you. @NightFury 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow if you're still around?

I have a couple of things going on...

I've been prescribed two medications for my sleep, to take together. They could take some time to work because I have to go slowly with them.

And she would like to support me with a med to help with my panic attacks, but I also mentioned that the medication I'm on

for my anxiety and depression symptoms make my heart race sometimes, so before she can prescribe that she wants me to wear a 24 hour heart monitor. I'm having that put on next Thursday and it'll come off on Friday.

I also have to have blood tests at the end of this month because the last blood tests I had my iron levels were high. She wants to monitor that in case it's something to worry about.

@tyme

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yes, I am here until 10! @NightFury

Okay, it sounds like she was really thorough and considered so many things that might be contributing. How do you feel about this? It honestly sounds like a very successful appointment. 😍

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow she asked a lot of questions like...what's my routine when I get home from work, what happens when I sleep, what wakes me up, whether I get nightmares, what happens during an anxiety attack? We talked about options and we've got a plan, but if that doesn't work then there are other more intensive med options.

Mixed feelings...I'm relieved. I've gone from taking no meds in my life, to having to take daily ones...and that's playing in the back of my mind a little. I'm hoping I can go on the med for my panic attacks...because I hate them so much, especially the big ones. I'm worried about wearing the heart monitor and something being wrong there!

I was more open with her than I thought and it wasn't that hard to be. I don't tell people about the panic attacks and how bad they can get, but now someone knows (other than you guys of course.)

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

How was your day?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

The fact you have multiple plans is a really big win in my books. I am so proud of you for showing up and waiting this out, that must have taken everything in you to do so. 🥰

I get that, it's always a little jarring to need more support for things that were once natural processes... I have been there too. Maybe we can look at this as just a phase? Something that can shift in time or something that you will adapt to? (Humans are extremely adaptable creatures!)

I get really nervous about physical health stuff too. I have actually been putting off an ECG I need to get done haha I think whatever shows up will simply give you more information, so you are able to give your body exactly what it needs. I know it's scary and can make us feel like we have somehow 'gotten it wrong', but I am learning that this stuff is very common and can be healed.

Ah, that must have felt so nice to be open with her. What do you think helped? @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I didn't think I was going to make it and I didn't want to admit that @AuntGlow. Even this morning...and it makes me feel kind of ashamed to admit - my head was like, don't go to work, keep driving and take yourself to the hospital.

"Just a phase" helps - looking at it as supports - for now. It's not necessarily long term.

Putting off an ECG...it sounds like some good advice for you too @AuntGlow maybe we hold each other's hand through it?

What do I think helped me to be open with her? She makes me feel comfortable. I did the hard thing - went and told her what was happening for me in my first appointment and I've never done that before and I think, it's gotten a little easier now that the ice is broken. I also feel like she doesn't judge. She has a real easy way of being, and she's...non threatening if that makes sense?

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