Acceptance is hard work

Hiya @NightFury just been catching up on everything. Saw your post about night terrors! I can totally understand how your mum's reaction to that would have messed with you. My sister used to get them as well, they sound absolutely terrifying.... but at least my parents took her seriously. Having to deal with that all by yourself would have been monumentally terrifying. I'd be swimming in night-lights too if I were you.

Anywho, how are you travelling tonight? Did you wanna chat about the stuff we were talking about last weekend? I think it was around the concerns about emergency services rocking up unexpectedly - but ofc happy to chat about whatever is on your brain 😉

@Jynx I've run out Up and Go this evening. It's been a big day and had a lot on after work. I'm still not home. I'm sitting at the laundry waiting for my washing to finish. I was going to start writing my assignment tonight, but I don't think I have any thing left to give it today. It's feels like a lot of pressure to get it all done tomorrow, so I'm kind of disappointed in myself for not having the energy, motivation or spoons left to do it. (If you know what I mean by spoons?)

Let's talk about what came up last weekend - around emergency services and that fear around having to go to hospital. If you have time and opportunity?

I am about to finish up @NightFury, but wanted to check-in quickly!

I know this weekend is rather pressure-filled, but I truly believe slowing things down and touching on all of the things we have been exploring together (like a hand on your heart, 'what do I need right now'?) will help so much.

I am looking forward to checking in Monday to see how you are going. I am counting down the days until Wednesday too. 🥰

Totally @NightFury - I do know spoon theory hehe yes. Do you find the last minute to be a good motivator, or is it a bit too stressful?

Happy to - is there any specific questions or thoughts you wanna start with? It's a pretty common concern so I wanna know what it is for you you know?

I find the last minute to be stressful @Jynx but at the moment, it's kind of probably for the best to leave it for tonight, try and get some rest and pick it up tomorrow. I'd rather get up early and smashed it out when I have the highest amount of energy and motivation to get things done. Leverage my best working hours...hope that makes sense?

Umm...I think we were talking about things like...

I'm a bit hesitant to call somewhere like Lifeline because I've read stories of people who have called and had emergency services turn up at their door and the police and it's been a pretty nasty situation...so that's something that I keep in the back of my mind.

And the questions that I had were personal worries - I'm scared of having to go to hospital...I don't have the supports for that - I have noone to look after my Dog, and what would happen with work? And what if ilthat ending up I'm hospital meant that people at work needed to know, and that my family needed to know I was struggling? What if they made me stay in hospital and didn't let me out? My anxiety brain needs to know all possible scenarios and worst case scenarios.

I don't know if these are something you can talk to, or share your thoughts about because they are kind of specific to me...but that's what comes up for me!

@NightFury yeah that's pretty much how I roll too!! Except my productive hours are around midnight 😅

So to speak to what you've shared - I guess when accessing MH support, there is always a risk that you might have someone organise a welfare check - where police are sent around to your home. Have you heard the phrase 'Duty of Care' before? Essentially, mental health workers have a DoC to ensure that people we're working with are not at risk of harming themselves or others. I think most will also 'err on the side of caution' - so in cases where we aren't quite sure whether someone may be in the process of making an attempt, but signs point that way, we are obligated by law to contact emergency services (ES).

Most services will have their own ways of working, but for us it is about trying to ensure members have agency wherever possible. So for instance, if I ever was going to contact ES on your behalf, I would be emailing you to inform you. I also wouldn't contact ES unless I thought that you were about to hurt yourself - which is why we email members and prioritise safety planning first and foremost. This transparency isn't always possible - so like, if you called LL and the after the call the person you spoke to is unsure as to whether you will be able to stay safe or not, they might contact ES and you probably wouldn't know it until they were banging on your door.

If police do rock up, they aren't necessarily automatically going to cart you into hospital. I know less about this particular experience as I have not lived it - however there are many here who have, and would likely be happy to talk about what it's like/what occurs. I think like anything, it's a roll of the dice - would depend entirely on the individuals who respond to the call.

I think if you explained about your dog, they'd be able to ensure that the lil fuzzball is looked after. Maybe ask Captain24 about that one? I know she's had to organise her dogs around hospital stays. But again, the likelihood of you being there for more than one night is very low. Especially if you also tell them that there is an animal depending on your return home.

I think something to keep in mind - within the MH system, the priority is to treat individuals out in the community (i.e. not in the MH ward). You gotta remember that there's often a shortage of beds (and usually staff too), which means the likelihood of you being 'kept' there is very low. Unless they think that you're experiencing psychosis or that you would immediately go home and end your life, they would be trying to prioritise getting you out, not keeping you there. Same goes for confidentiality - legally they have no grounds to tell your family or your workplace (but they may contact your next of kin to inform them if you have one listed, not sure if that's only if like, you were unconscious for example) - I think the only time this isn't the case is if it is psychosis or similar. But don't quote me on that! I'm less up to date with all the legal side of things, others might know more.

So in short - most services aren't going to contact ES unless they are concerned about your immediate safety. There are horror stories, but poor treatment is not a guarantee - for some people, the intervention is exactly what they needed. And unless you are experiencing significant disconnect from reality, as in the case of psychosis, it's unlikely you'd end up in hospital for more than a night. Some hospitals also offer follow up care, just depends where you are.

Have you heard of the Crisis and Assessment Team? They're a great option to get in touch with if you are experiencing a mental health crisis but you're unsure as to whether intervention is needed.

Wall o text haha lemme know if this helps, or if you got more questions!

Thank you @Jynx

Thank you for explaining and sharing the 'process' with me. It helps me to know what to expect should I have that experience. It kinda takes a little bit of the fear out of it.

I have heard of Duty of Care before. I learnt about negligence and duty of care at Uni, while studying law. So, I do have a bit of an understanding about the legalities of duty of care.

Thank you for sharing the Crisis and Assessment Team link, I will take a look. It's helpful because, there have been a few times where I've maybe been in a position where I'm not sure...I'm not sure when to ask for that kind of support, whether I need it...or if it's something that I can manage myself. One, the fear of not knowing and of being anxious about what could happen (for the reasons in my last post) and two, just not knowing...

I feel like I'm not making much sense, I'm sorry.

@NightFury no no you're making sense, not to worry 😉

I think the 'not knowing' can be an ENORMOUS source of anxiety, regardless of the topic. You could always make a thread inviting folks to share their experiences - not so good ones yes, but also experiences of this kinda thing being helpful - so that you have a bit of a clearer picture. Up to you!

But yes, the inability to make decisions like 'do I need to call 000 yet' is pretty typical when we're heightened, so having a Safety Plan usually helps in those cases. How's yours going? You could add your local CAT number to it now!

My safety plan is not too bad @Jynx I was spending time with AuntGlow filling it out, making it useful and meaningful and adding things I could do of a night when no one is around and I'm on my own. We've been working on making it practical.

I've used it - sometimes subconsciously. I have my last Guided Recovery Counselling session not next week, but the week after and my counsellor would like to talk about my safety plan and my safety in general. So maybe, we'll iron out some more of the finer points - I'm not sure. I generally go in without expectations so anything could come up and the plan could change.

Hi @NightFury

I saw you posted this;

Hi @Till23 I'm kind of assuming that maybe you've finished for the day, but I saw you were doing a performance/show this weekend and wanted to wish you luck! I admire the courage of people who can get up on stage and perform in front of others.

But I think you meant to tag someone else. I am not doing and performance/shows so maybe it is another member?

Anyhow, I hope you are well and having good times with Luna