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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That sounds like it will be really lovely and wholesome afternoon for you @NightFury. I hope you have a wonderful evening, I am finishing soon. I will be back tomorrow to check-in - remember, this feeling isn't forever. Things will shift. We are here with you. 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @tyme

I'm not going to be around a lot tonight.

I've been hit with a huge headache. And I'm well and truly out of spoons.

But I wanted to check in with how you went today?

I...

- took Luna for a walk

- survived work

- picked the rug rat up from daycare and spent time with her.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Sorry to hear how hectic today is for you @NightFury

The fact that you say you "survived" work, makes it sound really tough.

Does your niece energise you?

I'm at my niece's house at the moment. They are all out except the youngest because she's sick... she's been too cheeky tonight... I really want to say "naughty".

Glad you took Luna for a walk.

Hope you enjoy the rest of your evening. Are you going somewhere special?

My day's been pretty full, but I have a lot to think about.

And last night, I did some of my assignment. Just one question.

When you are free, hope to hear about what you are doing tomorrow!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I was looking forward to seeing her @tyme it's been a couple of weeks. She helped me choose a present for Grandad and of course, she got something too. But it was like the last bit...of....whatever it is, that I had to give for the day and I crashed pretty quickly once I dropped her home.

They keep us on our toes @tyme, that's for sure. Beanie's been sick this week too, so she was pretty tired tonight.

I'm not going anywhere. I just got home, so I'm going to my couch and probably no further.

Glad you got something done on your assignment. One question is still progress, so that's something to be proud of.

If you ever want to get stuff out of your mind, feel free to share. It goes both ways!

Tomorrow...

- take Luna for a walk

- work

- go with Dad after work and buy a lawn mower (hopefully)

- smash out some of my assignment

What about you?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

How sweet that she got a pressie too. I love getting my nibblings pressies. I don't want to spoil them, but I do.

I didn't realise she had gone home already! I thought you had her all night, and then sent her home late.

At least you can unwind a bit now.

That's great you can have your dad to take you to get a lawn mower. I had an electric one and it was pretty good because I don't like the smell of petrol.

I've got things on my mind, but it's just things out of my control. Whenever I do things, I like to write down things I want to improve on. I'm just mindul that I need to improve my practice in a lot of things. I'm learning.

As for tomorrow, I'm going out for a bit, then I'm not sure what I'm doing after that. I hope to shout myself coffee, lunch and snacks in the city 🙂

I'm not on the forums tomorrow, so I'm not 100% sure what I'm doing yet 🙂

@NightFury

Hope you can rest up and unwind!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Being reflective will help with that learning @tyme

I'm glad you're heading out tomorrow. Snacks, coffee and lunch sound like a great way to treat yourself.

My brother attempted to make use of the child free time, but I put a boundary in and told him that I couldn't have her overnight or for a long period of time tonight. Working on boundaries still, but like you, I think I'm learning.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Well done! Woohoo to you for putting those boundaries in @NightFury ! I'm so glad you have been firm about this.

I think it's good practice for any future boundary-setting situations. I guess you gotta start somewhere!

I know I'm not on tomorrow, but when I'm on next, I can let you know how the city trip went. I don't go to the city that often, but I did go about 3 weeks ago to watch Annie, the musical

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme thank you!

Please do check in and let me know how you are and how your trip to the city went. I would really like that.

I'd also like to hear about Annie. I love musicals, so hoping that maybe when you're back on you'd be willing to share.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow bringing the conversation over here.

Yes, I think it's something I can do this afternoon. I'll be home a little later, but it'll probably be good to take a moment and stop, lift that pressure I put on myself for a little while.

The overwhelm...I'm not really sure. I have tonight and tomorrow to get my assignment done. I need to remember to take breaks and make time to take a breath every now and then. I don't know how to reduce the pressure that I put on myself.

Grandad's birthday...I'm in two minds. I am looking forward to it but also, I'm not. I will be seeing family that I haven't seen since coming back from QLD and my family can be tricky to navigate. It'll also be a big social situation which in itself...is hard for my brain sometimes.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow I'm kind of assuming that maybe you've finished for the day, but I saw you were doing a performance/show this weekend and wanted to wish you luck! I admire the courage of people who can get up on stage and perform in front of others.

I'll be keen to hear how it goes.

Personally, I've hit a wall this evening and won't be starting my assignment until tomorrow.

I'm not feeling the best...nothing serious, just a bit run down and some Friday-itis maybe...

I've also had a big day...

I worked, then picked my Dad up and we went into town to buy me a second hand lawn mower, then we picked my niece up from day care and I dropped Dad and Beanie at my parent's house, and I'm now sitting at the laundry doing my washing for the week.

I've run out of steam!

@tyme

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