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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury I love it. I like the idea of kind of making a 'living document' - like idk if you use google docs, but if you did it means giving the link to anyone you trust and edit permissions too - like if you wanted others to have the power to add stuff to it. Orrrr you can keep it more private and just share the most recent one w your supports. I like that some stuff is becoming automatic! The more we use our safety plan, the less we need it, in my experience.

What's on for your weekend, mainly just chained to the study/assignment stuff?

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hahaha! I didn't even realise @Till23 this was for @AuntGlow. Sorry! I blame my brain on very little sleep.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Jynx I think I need to figure out how to get it off the Beyond Now Ap thingy and make it more of a hard copy thing. I need it to be accessible without kind of having to think too much about it and not have to go hunting for it. I don't have access to a printer at home, so it makes that tough though.

I don't really have anyone to share it with...

The weekend...

Saturday is a day to sit in one place until I get my assignment done!

Sunday is my Grandfather's 90th birthday celebration.

What about you? What have you got planned?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

No problem @NightFury I just wanted to make sure the correct person was tagged

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury how tedious would it be to copy it out by hand? I mean, you could make it all pretty then! Orrrrr just pop by OfficeWorks I guess 😅

You're welcome to share it with us! We can even attach it to your profile (only staff can see member safety plans dw) and help you keep it updated and stuff. Up to you 😊

So lots of sitting then hopefully a soiree! Anything happening to celebrate?

Me hmm... I gotta do my kitty's flea treatment, which involved putting them in little shirts so they don't lick it off each other. I'll send pics hehe. Then just lots of chilling, some cleaning if I can find the motivation, and hanging out here of an evening. 😋

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Jynx I didn't realise that sharing my safety plan like that here with you guys was something we could do...so, thank you. That actually feels like a little bit of a load off - you know? I actually have people who have it, know of it and can help me to work through it.

Not much to celebrate here. Unless making it through the days to get to the end of the week, counts?

The little shirts sound cute! Can't wait to see photos of that.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Absolutely @NightFury feel free to email it through whenever you're ready 😊

Yes it totally counts. I remember this thing I saw that said 'if we berate ourselves over the tiniest mistakes, shouldn't we also hype ourselves up over the tiniest success?' and I say heck yes. And for those of us with complex mental health, surviving can be one of the greatest challenges - especially when it's typically an unseen battle. So kudos hehe.

I should have some by tomorrow hehe! Tonight has FLOWN by me, so I will bid you adieu! Hopefully catch you tomorrow hun 😉💜

⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Jynx before I send it through, I just need to check first...

You, Aunt Glow and tyme are on it as people I can chat to, I hope that's not weird?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I mean, I don't think it's weird @NightFury the only thing that I think is maybe worth flagging is that we are a 'limited resource', so to speak.

As in, let's say on your list of 'people to chat to' you got friends, a family member or someone, and then us. If you're feeling super heightened and we aren't around, would that potentially feel like a source of rejection or isolation?

Or if it is very busy and we can't respond right away; it would be awful if that resulted in you feeling abandoned... and even if logically you can tell yourself that we aren't necessarily around 24/7, it can still hurt when we are in that extra fragile state, you know?

As an idea, maybe you could add a couple lil things you could do whilst waiting for a response?

Affirmations, breathing exercises, mindfulness games, crafty stuff to keep your hands busy, stuff like that!

Maybe also a little reminder note, e.g. 'Chat to forumites or tag a PSW - possible time delay' or something. Might sound like I'm being pedantic or overly thorough but I'm just speaking from my own experiences of being completely dysregulated, where all my capacity for being logical, decisive, and patient...kinda goes out the window, and panic-brain wants SOLUTIONS, NOW! 😅

But yes I am absolutely fine being listed on there, won't speak for the others but I mean, if we are part of your support network, by all means make a note of it!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I know what you mean @Jynx I can relate and didn't think of that. I don't really have many if any, in the moment people I can talk to. Which is probably something I need to work on...I'll acknowledge it as a work in progress.

I'll add a note on my safety plan for now and send it through to you guys.

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