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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I've caught up with the posts @NightFury .

TW: SH/SI

Content/trigger warning
I just want you to know in advance (if I'm getting it right), is that I'm not condoning the action, but I also see it's place. It sounded like you needed a good night's sleep. I wonder if this is something you would like to speak to your doctor about? Let's just say, it's not a 'new' thing. I've had first hand experience - many times.

If you feel you are doing it in an unsafe manner, that is when it's time to see emergency support. I hope this makes sense.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It makes sense @tyme

I have an appointment booked with my GP to try and tackle my sleep problem.

It's weighing on me a lot.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I can feel how passionate you are about this, just by reading about your experience - it makes me so happy to see. 🥰 @NightFury

I really do feel like being a part of something meaningful and connected would be so healing for you... and because you have experienced it before, it shows me that you are absolutely capable of cultivating something like this again. What do you think?

I can definitely understand why losing this space would have been so heartbreaking for you... was this related to your old housemate or is this a different friend?

OH WOW! That is wild. I have never had an experience like that, but I don't doubt the reality of them at all. What equipment did you use to communicate with Robert?

Absolutely, 'letting' someone or something be what it is, does NOT come naturally to most of us haha it's soo tricky. Healthy detachment is hard to master...

What did you do when you were feeling unsafe?

You are working so hard on your studies - is the process feeling a little easier? From my end, it seems like it is!

Also, when is your GP appointment? Have you been getting little moments of rest throughout the night? I really hope you sleep well this evening, I will be thinking of you. 🩷

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow it was...one of the best few years of my life so far...I got to explore and to play, to build my confidence, to be a part of something and have an amazing group of friends.

This was before my housemate debacle. This was the lead up to everything crashing down around me actually. Maybe I can share what happened tomorrow night, I'm mindful of the fact that you need to finish - actually...you probably are finished according to the time. If you would like to hear it, remind me tomorrow night.

We had all sorts of equipment - all the tech like rem pods, spirit boxes, voice recorders, phone aps designed for the purpose, noise enhancing headphones, emf readers and then the less tech gear like divining rods, and light up cat balls that flash on movement and also just the normal senses we're born with.

When I was feeling unsafe today...I mostly buried it, to be honest. I just took one step at a time and went through my morning routine for getting ready for work, then when the thoughts and the fear came up at work, I just pushed it back down and got busy again doing teacher things. This afternoon, I distracted my brain with study.

Tonight things feel a little confusing and swirly, but I'm okay.

It is feeling easier, but I think the meds help with that. I don't have as much brain fog (it was constant before) and feel more motivated to study. I feel as if I can focus for longer and am maybe a little less triggered by the content at times. It's one good thing I've noticed about these meds. It's one positive.

My GP appointment is on the 6th. This whole sleep thing is really messing with my head. I can't stop ruminating on it, worrying about it, stressing over it...it's really hard and making everything feel heavier, harder and more confusing. I don't feel like I'm functioning very well.

I've been getting moments. Like last night, I slept for a couple of hours between 10.30 and 12.30. I was still tossing and turning at around 3 when I got up to let Luna out, but I must have dozed off again because I woke at 4.45 and my alarm goes off at 5.

Thank you @AuntGlow I hope you sleep well too.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

How'd you go today?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @tyme

I managed to...

- take Luna for a walk

- get through work and staff meeting

- counselling appointment.

How did you do today?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good evening @NightFury!

How are things feeling for you today?

The way you described this experience sounds so soul-nourishing. I really do believe you can find this kind of connection again.

I am all ears if you would like to tell me more about what happened and if it's not too triggering?

That is SO interesting. What's your favourite supernatural fact?

I am glad to hear distractions helped, but it must have been rather exhausting pushing these thoughts down all day. I wonder if you can meet them with a little love and nurturing from your 'higher' or 'adult' self? I get the sense this could help the more fearful part of you feel acknowledged and heard?

I am glad to hear that meds are softening things for you, that must feel like such a relief.

Honestly, I get it. I have been there and a beautiful GP saved me (It was really bad). So needless to say, I can truly understand and I do believe things will change with support. 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @AuntGlow

I have struggled through the day. Things feel heavy today.

My favourite supernatural fact is...I think...that there are no facts. It's all very much a mystery. I love the mystery around it. I have a bit of a fascination with the TV show Expedition Big Foot too, so I love all things mysterious and unknown.

I tried the hand on my heart suggestion you made, and it felt weird, but it was also kinda...empowering...to put my hand on my heart and tell myself, "I got you," in a moment where I didn't feel particularly powerful.

I need things to change. I hope things change. It's soso hard. What happened AuntGlow, how did the GP support you through it?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I've been a bit everywhere @NightFury

But yes, I guess I completed:

- meetings

- admin work

- more meetings

- preso

- and I'm here on the forums.

I've got some more work to do after I clock off tonight and then I can start thinking of tomorrow. At this stage, I'm stuck on completing things tonight.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

You got a lot done @tyme while it may not feel that way because we always find things to add to the to do list.

I hope your presentation went well and you feel confident about it?

Check in tomorrow and let me know how your day goes.

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