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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

haha the cramps are real!! @NightFury

Ah, I am so jealous of your fire - I have a tiny oil heater in my room at the moment. Ooh, who is your favourite YouTuber?

Luna sounds like an angel, pets are so healing, aren't they?

Aw, thank you. I will definitely check-in more tomorrow - we have been run off our feet tonight doing lots of modly duties.

Regarding your other post, I want you to know you can always, always share with us. In saying this, I appreciate that you listen to your body and follow when things feel safe and right for you, that's important.

Shame, fear, everything you have been feeling makes perfect sense. And I get it. It's hard when we do something that is driven by our more reactive, survival-based parts. Often, when we are feeling more grounded, we see things with more clarity, but I think that's when we need the most compassion. Because that part that took over was very likely young, terrified, and without any real anchors. So when shame or fear come up, I'd like you to go back to your practice of putting a hand on your heart and repeating an affirmation like, "You're safe with me." or even more simple, "I love you." It might feel really icky and hard to internalise at first, but it can't hurt to give it a try and to see how it feels. Because you deserve unconditional love, all of you. 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I have three very different YouTubers that I watch consistently.

- Paranormal Quest.

These guys are American and do ghost/paranormal investigations in historic places around America. I've met them. When I worked as a Ghost Tour Guide, our sister company in Adelaide hosted PQ and we did a tour of the old Adelaide Gaol and attended a talk at Adelaide Zoo in their conference centre. They're really lovely guys.

- The Mel Robbins Podcast.

Aaaaand...

- The Sandvan - they're a couple who live out of their Sprinter van with their dog, Pablo and they tour around Australia, filming their adventures and experiences.

The hand on the heart affirmation would feel icky for me, I can feel it already, but I'm going to give it a go.

Good night @AuntGlow talk to you tomorrow.

Good night @Jynx hope your week treats you well. Thank you for listening and supporting tonight.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

If I forget @NightFury blame the ADHD memory fairies (aka please feel free to poke me about it)

May your week unfold gently 😌💜

Squiiiiish!!

⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury Whaaaat, that is SO cool. What an amazing job and experience. Did you enjoy it? Also what's your favourite ghost story to share? I love this stuff.

Ah yes! What are your thoughts on the 'Let Them' theory?

The Sandvan sounds very wholesome. Would you ever do something like that?

I really appreciate how often you say, 'this is uncomfortable, so I am going to try it'. It's honestly shows so much growth and self-awareness every time, so you need to give yourself more credit please. 😋

How was work/life today?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I loved it! I was so...intensely interested and engaged in paranormal investigations for three years. My friendship group who also owned/worked in the business travelled our state and did investigations in a lot of old historical buildings. I have an interest in history, the stories that make up our history and the characters that those stories are about. We were an ecclectic bunch, but we would totally geek out together about the paranormal, the mysterious and the spiritual. I loved it soso much and had the best time doing it. The ending of the friendship and my role in the group - still hurts. It was so shattering.

But, I have many stories and things I've personally experienced from watching balls roll across the floor on their own, seeing things like apparitions, hearing things like responsive knocks and footsteps, hearing my name come out of the equipment...and other people's ghost stories that I've collected over time.

Okay...so one night me and another guide turned up to do one of our tours and it was in an abandoned building that noone else had access to, or used. It had been raining, the roof used to leak in places due to a pretty bad possum infestation. And as we were setting up, I came across a bare child sized foot print on the floor. We took a photo of it, and that became part of "Robert's" story that is still a part of the tours today...the child would identify himself as Robert using our equipment.

I like the 'let them' theory, but it's really difficult to put into practice because programming is the first point ot call and first point of action for my thoughts.

Work was work. It was a typical, loud, unsettled Monday and I felt a bit scattered and adrift today.

I did experience feeling a little unsafe today. And the fear came up and a lot of anxiety. It's hung around a little, just in the back of my mind.

I've just packed up the study things after two and half hours of after work study, where my brain was distracted by the prevalence and burden of mental health and strategies for prevention and promotion.

So...I'm not sure where I currently sit with that.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

Yes I was off yesterday. How are you today?

How'd your goals go?

Do you have any goals for tomorrow?

Hope you're okay. I want to make space for you if there is anything you'd like so talk about.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi there @tyme

I hope you had a good day off yesterday?

I'm tired and had a lot of anxiety today. I've been pretty scattered.

Got my goals done over the weekend and smashed out two and a half hours study after work today.

How are your assignments going?

Tomorrow...

- walk Luna

- get through work

- counselling appointment at 5.10

- study for my assignment (maybe)

Things here have been a bit messy. I shared with Jynx and AuntGlow in posts yesterday, if you want to take a look. I don't know how I feel about taking about it...you're welcome to catch up on the posts, if you'd like. I'll tag you, no pressure though to respond. I feel weird about it still.

What have you got on tomorrow?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme @AuntGlow apparently I have a lot of anxiety around sleep tonight.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

What do you mean "apparently"? Did someone tell you that you have anxiety? Sorry. I'm not sure I understood correctly.

Also, way to go with kicking goals and thank you for sharing your goals for tomorrow. Sounds like a plan!

Did you get to wash your locks the other day?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

No, no one told me I have anxiety @tyme

The anxiousness has just come up for me...as I was starting to think about winding down for bed. It was a weird way for me to write it, I'm sorry if it was confusing.

I got my locs washed on Sunday. I love hair wash day! It makes my hair feel...cleansed.

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