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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Nice one @NightFury for getting it started in the first place 😉

You're always welcome to share how you're feeling. No rules against it. If you are worried about impacting others who are reading along, some stuff that is helpful is to let us know what you might be needing (or identifying that you're not sure what you might be needing if you don't know), use TWs if it's heavy, and if you wanna talk about SI or SH, just let us know that you are safe, or taking steps towards it. If you're not safe, then that's when we ask members to step back from forums and seek crisis support from services better equipped to provide that support.

Does this help you feel a little easier about expressing yourself? If you really feel unsure, you can always email us like a draft or something and I'll have a quick peak. Happy to help you nut it out hehe 😊

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

For some reason, I just...I don't want the community to get tired of hearing me share about the hard stuff, my thoughts, and feelings and challenges. @Jynx

I have my Mum's voice in my head who recently said to me, "you're always negative. You have nothing positive to say." And my house mate from last year who in an argument when I was telling her how unsafe I was feeling in the house, which is why I withdrew from the friendship, hit me with..."you use your mental health as an excuse..."

I think I'm just...overwhelmed right now. I feel like it's one thing after another and it's all jumbled into one feeling after another. It's been a big couple of weeks, but I feel like I say that a lot.

I just...

I have a lot of things running around in my brain.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury or, for an alternate perspective - when the people in your life ask you to bury your feelings, you have every right to find a way to express and process them. You deserve a safe space to just be, where you don't have to mask or bottle things up.

Your mental health is... kind of the most reasonable excuse there is? Having complex MH is like doing life on ultra hard mode. I'm sorry that you're surrounded by that kind of stigma. You are under no obligation to be positive all the time here hun. You can be a big mess, share as much as feels safe to do so, and be negative about the things that are, you know, negatively impacting you.

I'll be wrapping up in a bit, but that doesn't mean you can't still share what's on your mind 💜

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I am just a big mess at the moment @Jynx

But thank you for reassuring me that it's okay to be a mess here and that I don't have to be anything or anyone here other than what and who I am.

I think I'm going to go to bed and try to get some rest. If things are still feeling the same tomorrow, then I'll get it off my chest.

I hope the rest of your night treats you well, Jynx.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury absolutely hun, and being witness to your authentic self - mess and all - is a privilege in my mind. It means the world that you can be vulnerable and raw with us here, truly.

Hope you find some more sleepies tonight, and I'll catch ya on the flipside... i.e. tomorrow, probably 😋

Niiiight

⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme I think I read that you have today off, but this is something that I need to do today for some accountability.

I feel as if I've woken up with only a couple of spoons to work with. Things are slow and sluggish today and I'm feeling a tad low and fragile.

My plan for today...

- wash my locs

- clean my bathroom

- vacuum the floors

- bring some more wood down from the shed.

- start my assignment - familiarise myself with the task brief and start researching.

@Jynx @AuntGlow

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @NightFury!

How are you feeling today?

It's great to see that you've created a list of things to do today (I should do the same!). I would love to see you add something that's for pure enjoyment in there too. 🥰

How was the rest of Thursday night? My laptop had a moment and I wasn't able to get back in, so I am sorry I didn't get to say goodbye!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow things feel kind of really complex at the moment. So, I'm not sure how I'm doing mentally, but I do feel kind of accomplished today, in that I've just finished four and a half hours of study (seventeen pages of notes for my assignment that's due next Sunday) and I've ticked off everything on my to-do list. My brain is fried, because it's had a bit of cognitive overload today and a lot of thoughts swirling around in it that I am trying not to have to deal with.

I'm not sure what to do for enjoyment. Something small...like maybe it's cuppa time and then do some of my diamond dot painting? And of course, chat to you.

Thursday night was tough, Friday night was better, last night...well...I don't know.

But for the positive...I have made progress today towards getting my to-do list done, in spite of it!

How's your weekend been?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @NightFury how you travelling? Four hours of study is massive by the way!!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Jynx I am feeling...it's complicated.

Last night was...complicated.

I'm feeling like I achieved something today with my study and it's nice to currently feel like I'm not chasing my tail with it. I'm not behind yet.

What have you been up to today?

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