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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury oh scary! I grew up in a town that had a river running through - used to flood pretty regularly!! Flood waters are scary! Do you get flooding in/around your place?

I like going with the flow too! I know that sometimes, if I set my expectations too high (even just for stuff like 'getting the washing done' or 'stretching every day') I can accidentally push myself into shame collapse, so I try to just take each day as it comes.

Are you interested in the assignment topic? That always helps me to determine how far ahead I need to begin! If I like the topic, last minute babeeeyyy 😝

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm up on a hill, so we won't get flooding up here @Jynx but the river that divides the suburb, does flood a lot actually.

I just...I'm not sleeping very much or very well at the moment, so I need to just...wait and see how things feel before I decide what to do with my resources and time. If that makes sense?

Is it bad that I haven't even looked at the topic yet? We've been looking at the burden of disease around mental health and strategies to reduce the burden of disease, so I'm assuming the assignment is about that. I need to start unpacking the topic this weekend. I'm struggling to get interested in this unit, for some reason and this little quiet, yet persistent voice in the back of my mind is like..."see? You're a burden."

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury oh phew! So flooding is kinda like a novelty for you as well?

That makes sense, and I think that is a wonderful way to nurture yourself!

Ach, I feel that. Almost like 'oh cool I'm one of those funky lil statistics aren't I?' I wonder if delving into the topic might actually help? I think the biggest 'burden' on the MH system is not the people it's trying to serve, but the lack of funding, lack of compassion, and lack of understanding that then fuels stigma. You are not burdensome for needing support, that just makes you human.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

No, not a novelty @Jynx I've been in major flooding before and it's really scary and confronting.

Ooof! Those words hit a little hard, given the week that I've had....

The Urgent Care Clinic I took myself to this week, I didn't make it past the front desk. They said they couldn't help me. It was a bit hard to hear and relates so much to the words in your reply just now...

I have a GP appointment in two weeks (it was the closest appointment I could get). No sleep sent me into a spiral - I got super dysregulated and anxious about having to wait for two weeks to see my GP.

I just needed the help to get a good night's sleep, and their advice was to see my GP because it's not something they take care of. Perfect example of a lack of understanding for what I was experiencing.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I may have misinterpreted something @NightFury? To me, that lack of putting pressure on oneself is a helpful thing, especially when, day-to-day, we won't know how much capacity we have until we are in stuff.

But if I'm reading you correctly, does this feel really destabilising or uncomfy for you or something like that? Totally valid!

Getting turned away like that can feel sooo disheartening. Sometimes it's like 'oh okay would you like me to go away until I am in more of a crisis?'

Ugh that sounds like such a catch-22!! I can understand why you're feeling so concerned about the next couple weeks. How long has sleep been evading you for?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Now I don't know if you or I misinterpreted something @Jynx but it doesn't matter because I'm gonna run with it anyway...

Not putting pressure on myself is really really hard. I do acknowledge that I am the one who puts most of the pressure on myself. Thoughts of being a failure hit me hard and I overextend and put in really high expectations for myself.

It's been really bad for three weeks now. It probably doesn't seem like a long time...and maybe I'm being dramatic but for me...I'm really worried about the fact that I can feel it starting to have take a big toll on my mental health and on my own capacity to keep myself regulated and safe.

I have sleep issues on and off and generally don't sleep deeply or through a night without waking up a couple of times, but for the last three weeks I'm not getting any more than 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night and it's really broken...like waking every hour or so. It's a touchytouchy subject for me at the moment and I'm not even sure I understand why.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury ty for taking the time to explain this to me hun, appreciate it. And lemme tell you - three weeks is AGES when we're stuck in survival mode. I can understand entirely why you're feeling so overwhelmed - especially with how much a lack of sleep impacts our capacity for self-care and resilience! So what you're describing sounds totally expected to be honest - tho I know that doesn't necessarily make it any easier to sit with.

I am about to head off for the night just so you know! But we can chat more tomorrow if you're around. Have you seen the Sleep Thread? Maybe something in there could help!

Chin up, no darkness lasts forever hun. Sending hugs

(っᵔ◡ᵔ)っ

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Overwhelmed is the word for it @Jynx I've hit complete bone deep exhaustion and all I can do is try again each night, try to gain back some energy and reset. It's just a loop.

Hopefully I'll be around tomorrow. I'd love to chat and I did take a quick look at the sleep thread a little while back, but I'll read in more detail tomorrow when I have a little bit more focus and brain power to give it.

Good night @Jynx

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury how'd you go with your sleep last night?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Jynx hey over there...

I had an improved night sleep. I didn't wake up as often, which is a positive.

Still feeling pretty tired, irritable and heavy headed.

How are you?

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