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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Wow @NightFury . Big day hun. Please know we care.

Have a look at this Spoon theory pic:

So we have a set number of spoons for each day. Each activity we do uses up some spoons so that once we have no more spoons, we make feel the way we do sometimes. This analogy is often liked to depression and anxiety.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I used all my spoons @tyme

And for some reason, I'm now teary...

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Having used all our spoons can be EXHAUSTING. Are you able to have some quiet time and have an early night @NightFury ?

Hugs to you. I hope you feel it.

We're here for you.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm going to bed when I finish my cup of tea @tyme.

I've had a quiet night, haven't really moved off the couch.

I just feel super defeated at the moment.

Hugs tyme!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Maybe we can reframe "I just feel super defeated at the moment" to something like "I just feel super defeated at the moment, but tomorrow is a new day?"

You are amazing as you are hun @NightFury

I'm really proud of you with all these BIG steps you are taking to work on your mental health and wellbeing.

Sometimes, I see these as 'growing pains' where it means that for us to grow, there is pain, but the result will be worth it?

Big hugs for you tonight.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

We can reframe that @tyme

Thank you for saying that you're proud of me. These big steps are hard work.

I'm heading off now.

Good night, tyme. Good luck for your presentation tomorrow, my friend.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme I wasn't able to do this properly last night, so I want to have a crack at it this morning...

Today my goals are...

- Survive Friday (I'm taking our mixed footy team to go and play against another school today, so it shouldn't be too bad of a day...finger's crossed)

- Study

- Deal with my washing from this week

- Stock up the undercover wood pile with wood from the shed, because apparently, we're in for some rough weather tomorrow.

- Shout myself a coffee this morning before work

- Walk Luna

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme how did your presentation go today?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I didn't feel there was enough time @NightFury . And there were a lot more people than I anticipated. I thought 50-80, but there were over 100.

But I'll be running 1 hour sessions over the next 4 weeks so it'll be okay.

How'd you go with your goals today?

Even if it's the goal of just making it through the week!

Happy FriYay!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme over 100...wow! That's courageous of you, standing up in front of that many people and delivering a presentation. Go you!

I completed some, and didn't complete some...

I completed...

- take Luna for a walk

- hang out my washing

- buy myself a coffee before work

- survive work

- bring wood up into the car port for the next couple of days in case the weather comes in as forecast.

I didn't do any study.

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