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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh no isn't that so disappointing when you wait so long for your food and then it doesn't hit the spot like you were hoping @NightFury?

How are you going with the other ideas you had listed? Have you ended up putting on Alone in the background with Luna nearby?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It was good pizza @Ru-bee I'm just not as hungry as I thought I was.

Alone is on in the background, but it's more the foreground because I have no energy to do anything except lay on the couch and stare at the TV.

Luna is asleep in the hallway, so not really near, but I know where she is. She keeps coming to check in every so often.

How's your day been?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

My day has reasonably uneventful @NightFury I was able to get some sun and take my dog for a walk, and I did some washing so I'd say it was a success. It's nearly at an end though, I'm finishing up here in a minute then I think it'll be time to wind down for bed!

Thanks for chatting, I hope the rest of the night is gentle for you

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello hello @NightFury !

It's tyme. I'm on the wrong account. I'll get back to mine.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good night @Ru-bee

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@SANE-Adminnot sure, correct me if I'm wrong, you look like @tyme in your post content? If I'm wrong, I apologise.

It's nice to check the paper work stuff off of your to-do list, so a very well done to you.

I am...not great.

The goal kicking didn't really happen.

- I survived the work day

and have barely moved off the couch since.

For me tomorrow...

I don't know....

- go to work? Does that count?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello hello @MissinTooth !

How are you? Sorry, I was working on the the behind-the-scenes stuff on the forums regarding the bugs, so I was using an admin account. I'm back on my account now.

How'd the goal-kicking go?

Super excited to see you here 🙂

My goals today. Completed:

1) admin/paper work - spreedsheets

2) preparation for a professional learning (nearly completed)

3) I'm here now

DIdn't complete:

1) playing with the kids

Tomorrow:

1) Presenting a professional development session on inclusion

2) meetings

3) hanging on the forums

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I replied above @tyme maybe at the same time as you posted this.

I thought the post content and tone looked familiar.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

The fact that you are here and you survived work is total goal-kicking!!! @NightFury

Do you know of the spoon theory? It sounds like today, you started with less spoons, and that's TOTALLY okay. We don't always start with the same number of spoons. Then with each activity we do, we use up the spoons.

We are now at Thursday. I didn't want to get outta bed today. So I feel I am starting with less spoons already. And I know the same will be for tomorrow. I tend to be doing a lot of things after I log off here so my mind is buzzing and I don't sleep until 3am or so. Then I wake up with less than ideal spoons.

However, I will recharge tomorrow evening 🙂

If you don't know the spoon theory, I can go into it more. But if you do, then you'll get what I'm saying.

Just know that you have been successful today because you literally SURVIVED the day!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme I don't know the spoon theory. Feel free to share more if you like? I kind of get the concept, but would like to know more.

I...

Took myself to an Urgent Care Clinic after work. I just needed some support to get some sleep... I haven't slept more than four hours a night for over two weeks. I got to the point this morning where it was just...dysregulating and I was overwhelmed.

They sent me away with the advice to go and see my GP. I didn't get passed the nurse at the front desk today. I have an appointment with my GP in two weeks so I have to wait it out.

I survived the day so far, yes.

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