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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Okay, I am proud of you for going, and I am so sorry they can't help you... I am very surprised actually, because it sounds urgent to me. @NightFury

Are there any other regular GP clinics you could try that are nearby?

PS: I am sure this is feeling overwhelming for you, so please take some time to regulate and let me know how you're feeling. 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

They don't prescribe @AuntGlow is what they told me. And no, there's not. All the doctors at my local GP practice and the GP practice that's local to my work community are all booked out.

I'm just going to go home. Thank you for supporting me - at least we tried.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

GAH, I was hoping they could support with this. @NightFury

I'm so sorry.

I know this may feel like a setback, but I want you to know this is absolutely a reflection of your courage. You will get answers soon.

Let's work out a really loving, soothing self-care plan for tonight?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It feels very much like a set back @AuntGlow

After my psych appointment and now this...things feel really hard.

Okay, let's work on it. Can you please help me with some ideas, or some prompting?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I get that, you just want things to work, and that's completely fair. Experiencing challenge after challenge is genuinely exhausting. @NightFury 💛

I think if we make it sensory, it could be really grounding.

1. What do you want your environment to look like? Ex: would a little tidy-up help clear your mind? Maybe some candles or soft lighting could be calming too?

2. What do you want your environment to sound like? Ex: could you listen to music, a podcast, maybe a favourite TV show, or even a meditation audio?

3. What do you want your environment to feel like? Ex: would blankets, soft toys, or your fur baby help with a sense of grounding and soothing?

4. What do you want your environment to smell like? Ex: think incense, scented candles, an open window (briefly, I know it's cold!), fireplace, etc.

5. What do you want your environment to taste like? Ex: this will just be about foods that you enjoy - maybe dinner is something really wholesome and delicious or a little sweet treat that will help with a sense of comfort.

Does this feel like a helpful guide to start?

I would also like to add that exploring things like meditation, prayer, affirmations, etc - could be a lovely way to support your spirit tonight. Another thing you could explore is doing something creative for yourself, I find that creativity brings us closer to our authentic selves, and it can help so much when we are feeling disconnected and overwhelmed with life. 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I don't have too many challenges left in me. @AuntGlow if I'm honest.

Sensory sounds good.

1. Maybe some soft lighting, and fire light?

2. Umm...something softer and gentle. A TV turned down in the background or something with a voice that makes me feel less alone and give me something that I don't have to think to do. I've been watching Alone! So, maybe that on in the background.

3. Blankets, maybe not my weighted one, but my soft, fluffy blanket. Luna sitting close to me, or me sitting close to her.

4. The fireplace sounds like a good idea. Not really for the smell though. Maybe like...comfort food and drinks? I don't really notice or connect with smell that much to be honest...

5. I have a YouFoodz meal ready to go, but it's not very comforting. I mighr explore takeaway delivery options, maybe. I don't want to cook though, or go out and get food. I just want to stay home...I do have some apple pies in the fridge, which I love...I also have chocolate, so maybe some comforting hot drinks and some sweet treats.

I don't know if I have the focus and ability to give my attention to anything creative tonight, AuntGlow.

I've just pulled into the drive way and I'm thinking my first things to do...

- light my fire

- have a long warm shower

- PJ's on....

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury, @AuntGlow is having some technical issues so they weren't able to reply before the end of their shift but they asked me to let you know how great your ideas are here, and I agree. Even just reading these makes me feel so cosy

How are you going with them? Have you managed to hop in the shower and get the fire going?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @Ru-bee thank you for letting me know and taking some of your valuable time to check in.

My fire was still going from when I left this morning, so no need to light it. Something to be thankful for.

I've had a shower, and have my PJ's and Oodie on.

I've ordered pizza and fed the dog. Duties done, now I'm sitting on the couch. I'm feeling heavy and beyond exhausted, but I'm doing my best to self-sooth.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Sounds like you're doing a good job doing what you can to show yourself care tonight @NightFury

I'm having pizza for dinner too tonight, peperoni for me, what about you?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I thought about pepperoni @Ru-bee, but went with BBQ chicken.

I waited about an hour for delivery, then only managed two pieces before I wasn't interested any more.

Hope your pizza is nice?

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