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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I wonder if you wanted to prepare a some notes or something before you see this psych? If there is anything in particular you wanted to share? Sometimes, when you see someone for the first time, you can go with nothing, or you may have things you want to go through to see if they are a good fit for your needs @NightFury

Totally your call. Whatever makes this uncomfortable situation a little more comfy for you.

Yes, I'll be on in the arvo so we can check-in then?

Please take care and I look forward to hearing from you tomorrow.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @tyme

How are you?

I am starting to get really nervous about my first psych appointment in an hour...

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hearing you hun. Take some DEEEEEP breaths. Is this a face to face appointment or telehealth @NightFury ?

It may be helpful when you see the psych to let them know how you feel. It may inadvertantly be help you relax a little.

Is there anything you want to share here as a braindump of what you want to then talk to the psych about?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It's over video call @tyme

I don't know what to talk about...

I don't feel comfortable going deep into things in my first appointment - with someone I've never met before. I don't feel safe.

I've even googled what to expect in your first appointment with a psych, and things to talk about.

I don't know...Google's advice, talk about what challenges you're experiencing and what you hope to get out of the appointments. Ask questions to get to know the psych...(but I don't know what questions to ask).

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey hun @NightFury , we're sitting with you and holding your hand.

Sometimes, something like this can be a good start:

"This is my first time. I'm feeling quite anxious and I don't know where to start."

Even something like this is enough. Remember to BREATHE!

Breathe in 4

Hold 2

Breathe out 6-8

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme sounds like a good place to start.

Thank you for being here with me. I feel really...vulnerable and unsettled and I don't want to do it...

But I will, because I made the commitment.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It's a place many of us have been before, but I recognise it doesn't make it any easier for the person going through it!

And when you finish with the session, you have have a big sigh of relief.

You may also want to hold something in your hands to fiddle with during the session @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I thought of that @tyme

I've just grabbed my Needoh cube out of my box of fidgets. It's my go-to when I need to have something in my hands.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Let us know how it goes @NightFury . I'm clocking off soon, but I'll read when I'm on next

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hiya @NightFury!! How'd everything go w the surgery?
And saw you've just done your first psych appt! How you feeling? No rush for you to respond, I know I'm usuallly pretty brittle after psych sessions!!

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