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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Internal boundaries are probably something you do more than you realise. It can also be a form of self-control @NightFury .

However, there are some 'big' boundaries which may be harder to wrap your head around.

I'm guessing something to do with your brother may need both internal and external boundaries, esp if he needs to know what the boundaries are and why you are setting them.

As for social media, setting internal boundaries can be very healthy. For example, some people only allow themselves to check their social media twice a day for X amount of time.

For my own mental health, I don't have access to FB, insta, SnapChat or anything... for me, it's just not worth the heartache.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I feel like...maybe the internal boundaries that challenge my beliefs about myself are the ones that are hard to wrap my head around @tyme and I kind of feel a little...resistant to.

Yeah, I'm still working at the boundaries around my brother and around not feeling guilty when I have to set them and communicate them to him. As I said, it's a work in progress, but I am making progress...I think.

I need to set a boundary with social media - specifically regarding the news on social media. I was able to do it with COVID, but have slipped on it lately and need to replace that boundary. I think my heart's too big and I can't help but absorb it until it starts to have an impact on me.

At least, I'm starting to think about the kinds of internal boundaries I need to set for myself...I guess it's a start.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh my gosh, wow! That's really, really cool. @NightFury

It sounds like lawn bowls is so meaningful for you... that is really beautiful.

People who are older hold so much wisdom, so I understand why you resonate with them so much. I wonder if you could do some volunteering through the Red Cross? They hold programs where you can visit people through My Aged Care supports!

I understand the feeling of one thing helping you to take up space and other things resulting in shrinking... it's so tough.

Do you have a specific walk, talk, or stance you adopt when you're bowling?

PS: I will be leaving soon, but I hope you get some good rest tonight! I will be back tomorrow. ☺️

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Volunteering with the Red Cross sounds interesting @AuntGlow. I've always thought that I'd like to do something like...volunteer to sit and read to someone, or something along those lines. I love being read to - so maybe I could pass that onto someone else.

I'm kinda cheeky on the bowls green. I make jokes and puns and joke with those I know well and am comfortable with. I'm pretty quiet and reserved outside of it. I don't say much.

I'm going to wish you a good night @AuntGlow hope to talk to you tomorrow.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

What @NightFury! Here I have been raving about my sport and you have achieved state representative level in your sports. OMG that's an amazing achievement. That's certainly something to help you get through moments of lacking self esteem or confidence.

I'm basking in the glow of your success!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I have been successful yes @Till23 but that was a few years back now. Maybe 6 years ago...

I'm just coming back to the sport, so I have no expectations. I just want to make regional rep again, and go from there. I'm a bit rusty and a bit out of touch with it. I haven't played for...three years now.

We'll see.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

You could be right at where I'm sitting @tyme though, I don't know if I'd say I'm not committed to change using their wording. I know things need to change, and I want things to change...I just have to work on the resistance part.

Thank you for tonight. Talk soon.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow do you have a moment for a vent/chat?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yes, talk to me! @NightFury 💛

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