Daily goals, motivation and check in

Hi @Former-Member, thanks for the callout. Its nice to know I'm not alone getting off first base with these daily goals. Don't know what's going on with me here alone when I can get so much done at my parents (for me that is, not wonder woman). So, well, ya not alone.

My goals today:
(1) work establishing an structured AUTOMATIC FIXED MORNING ROUTINE:
Open eyes √ Put dog out & kettle on low √ Back to bed for brief meditation to engage x5 senses & balance - stretch body tight & relax √ Take x10 slow deep breaths √ notice the air in and out √ notice sounds √ temperature √ touch & describe something different √ notice the colour of the sky & movement in the trees √ say hi to God √), Pat dog √ Cuppa & read todays short devotional/affirmation √ Feed Dog √ Quick Shower & or dress √ Walk the block__ Light Breakfast__ Pills__ TaiChi__

(2) EXTRAS TODAY (listed last night):
Cut nails__ sort out my hair__ Resist urge (anxiety) to stay home__ Post Office (mail card to son__ study bk to E__ ), Library: print palliative care stuff for mum__ 12pm kyb luncheon with plate of food__ Resist urge to not mix__ Take trailerload to tip__

@Former-Member and everyone

I survived a whole day at tafe. Omg. I was so scared I'd need to find a bed half way through but made a whole day upright. Sad but true this is an achievement for me. Was touch and go for a bit but didn't need to curl up somewhere to survive.
So I can tick heaps. Shower ✅ eat ✅ drink (albeit just two coffee which is more than I've been having)✅ moisturise ✅ and the one that nearly got away take meds ✅ and the most important stay out of bed ✅✅✅ sorry I'm a little too excited over this but it's been a while 😊

Wow @Former-Member, WELL DONE!! Its reward in itself just to know we can.

EXTRAS TODAY (listed last night):
- Cut nails √ sort out my hair √

- Resist (CBT) the urge (anxiety) to stay home √

- Post Office - got there with stuff √ but forgot address bk (this is what happens because I get so anxious getting out the door & putting stuff together, worried if the reciever will like it? If i worded things correct, if writing is neat enough, did i get get address right, double check, triple check, will it cost too much? ... but I did package them ready, phew! You have no idea (its so stupid o know). Try this again tomorrow.

- Library: print palliative care stuff for mum √ print forum guidelines as too hard to read on mobile √

- 12pm kyb luncheon + plate of food √ this was VERY hard because it was a much bigger crowd than i thought. One woman got in my face, i was having mini panics and couldn't hear half of what she was saying, and wanting to faint - had to drink cold water and got away alone & used mindfulness to calm myself a couple of times. I was doing it automatically throughout the time when i felt overwhelmed, kinda helps. I get so obcessed what people think, the slightest glance and 'they hate me' or 'they're gossiping about me' oh here's a good one, they're laughing 'are they laughing about me?' ... hate these thoughts. But, the talk was good. At one point, resisting the urge to get up and run out crying, I did the 'Strength in Vulnerability' thing, on the inside and realised how terribly broken i am as a person amidst so many wonderful strong country women, and i was brave enough to sit with that a moment, with God in my corner, just being still, its not right or wrong, just is and i made it and i dont have to prove myself out o anyone... Think i covered my internal world well, & somehow managed to stay to the end. Bought a CD of the gust singer songwriter + some cards.

- grabbed needed groceries √

- got another speeding fine in the mail for doing 60 in a 50zone I know nothing about. Made me cry - total of 450 in fines on my trip - haven't had a fine for 10 yrs so its a shock and frightens me because I try so hard to be perfect on the roads. Anyway, settling down myself whichbI'm giving myself another √ for. Acceptance.

So Teej - like you, I'm kinda pleased with myself, my achievements today, especially getting out. WE DID GOOD!!

Oh no, now I'm sobbing and don't know why. Need a cuppa xox

💃💃💃🌐🎶

Happy dance for @Former-Member and @Former-Member

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Oh @Former-Member you've had such an amazing day with sooooo many triggers. I'm really proud of you 💜🤗. I don't know I would have got through some of them. I did have one part of the day when I wanted to run out and SH because I was struggling but I kept trying to tell myself I just had to wait and see what comes next and it got better. I was freaking out at the new environment and people and the workload and assignments was much bigger than I thought.
I think it's the trick though to find something stimulating that's not too triggering. I think I would have found it really hard with a group of strong country women who just plod on with everything. There is nothing wrong with that but sometimes it makes it hard to be in the moment with them if they have no empathy (and I mean they just have no idea what it's like to walk in your shoes) not that they don't care.
Sending hugs. Lots of them. 💜🤗