Battles

Hi @MissGremlin how you going? Can chat IFS/parts stuff if you're feeling up to it this evening?

@MJG017 1000% agree!! My psych once said to me "Most of the time, people don't need help. They need love." And that has stuck with me. Sometimes it goes a long way to just know we're not alone in the darkness ay.

Hope you're going okay my friend?

Hi @Jynx. I'm really not I'm a good way 😞.

How are you going?

@MissGremlin noooooo

I gotchu hun. Discuss or distract you reckon? Or some secret third option....

I'm alright, got that whole 'impending doom' vibe cos I have too many adulting tasks in my backlog and I'm not sure which one will explode first. Ahhh #ADHDlyf 🙃

@Jynx I'm really not sure. It's been over 48 hours of constant thoughts of suicide that i just can't shake, like it's not just thoughts it's visions of seeing it aswell. I'm exhausted and tired of fighting myself.

I feel that, I'm facing that whole homeless situation again cos of an unpaid water bill and then there's another one due and I just can't cover it. So I've been served with a form that if it's not paid by a certain date then I have to vacate the premises. Why does adulting have to be so hard. Ugh it's all too much effort.

@MJG017 I'm sorry i haven't replied to you. I've distanced myself from everything right now. Just really struggling and I'm very close to just giving everything up and calling it quits.

@MissGremlin that's a scary point to get to hun, how worried are you at this point about your safety?

It angers me greatly that there's no mercy in bureacracy. Where is the forgiveness, the compassion, and the understanding of nuance? Erased by greed.

You do not deserve this.

Whew, okay we'll put the rest of that angery-rant-time into my back pockie, no need for it right now. Are you home at the moment hun? What you up to?

hey @MissGremlin sending you lots of warm hugs 💜

sounds incredibly exhausting to keep fighting those thoughts. i'm sending you an energy re-charge pack, you matter to us heaps and we want you here. sitting with you 💜

@Jynx honest answer is very cos this is the exact point I was at with previous attempts, well actually worse cos plans hadn't been made previously.

I just hate that I'm in this position, like a few years ago things were easier financially and now I'm just completely screwed and it's getting worse by the day.

I'm home and I'm attempting to do a puzzle but brain is just a mess and I keep losing my sh!t at myself.

Thanks heaps @rav3n ❤️.

@MissGremlin I know it's all really scary but we're right here with you ok?

I'm gonna touch base super briefly via email - keep an eye out.

Hmm it sounds like part of you blames yourself? I might be wrong, but in any case, being hard on yourself might feel like it's needed or deserved, but it's not gonna change your circumstances or make em any easier to deal with.

Reckon you got some tiny ounce of self-compassion in you, that you could show yourself? Either in some kind words out loud to reassure yourself, or doing something nice and kind for your body for example?