Battles

@Jynx it's nuts the pre-made Lipton iced tea that i have been drinking, peach was my choice tonight hehe. I also like the mango one 😋.

Casper playing with the water definitely brought a smile to my face, thing is he's never really shown interest in the hose until today. It's like he knew i needed it.

@MissGremlin yesssss nice one! You must be peachy keen! 😋

Aww hehe he's so attuned to you!! What a blessing he is 😍

@Jynx hehe peachy goodness 😋.

He really is. I'm planning on taking him outside again tomorrow to water the garden and this time I'll take my phone with my so I can get some videos and pics.

I'm doing my bedtime routine now so that I can sit on my bed with Casper and my colouring and my music or maybe an audiobook.

@MissGremlin *southern accent* well ain't you just a peach! 😋

Or the classic tune... MILLIONS OF PEACHES, PEACHES FOR ME! 🎶🤣

Aww yay I bet he'll love that!! Love when animals try to 'bite' the water stream and just get splashed in the face 😂

Sounds like a nice way to close out the day. What sort of audiobooks do you have going? I've been getting into some Discworld lately, heard too many things about Terry Pratchett's writing... and they all appear to be true, he's incredible with words!

@Jynx haha i even read that with the accent and then sung the tune 😂.

Casper just runs through the water and tries to get it, his little pounces and leaps are hilarious 😂.

I've been listening to a few different ones, Harry potter, the twisted tales series and the Melanie Cellier ones that avant-garde has read. Maybe I'll look into Discworld once I've gotten through the other ones.

Hehe love a little bit of a 90's throwback @MissGremlin 😋

Dogs are everything omg the CUTIE!!

There's a LOT of them lol but there's a bunch of reading guides floating around on reddit and spaces like that, cos apparently there's different points you can jump in - different stories about different characters and stuff. If you've ever seen or heard of a movie called 'Hogfather', it's based on Discworld novels 😁

I shall bid you goodnight! Hope you catch many snoozles 💜

@Jynx nothing like some 90's throwbacks 😂.

They definitely are, hoping i can get some pics and videos tomorrow so I can share them here.

I don't have reddit lol. I'll have a read about it and see how we go. Never heard of the movie though.

Night night and thankyou for the chats ❤️

I'm unable to sleep as the voices are so loud tonight, so here's a poem that I just wrote. Please know that I'm safe.

Trigger warning

@Jynx @AuntGlow @rav3n @Cuddlebear @Bunniekins @avant-garde @NightFury

Thanks for sharing that you are safe @MissGremlin - it sounds like these thoughts are sitting pretty heavily on you tonight though, and it can be really difficult to gently challenge them or work our way through thoughts like this when there is already a lot going on in our mind (and when we haven't had a lot of sleep!). Please know the forums are here to support you, but if you feel like you do need some extra one on one support tonight to manage these thoughts there are supports like Lifeline and the Suicide Call Back Service you can connect with.

Hopefully having a space to get some of these thoughts out has helped to quiet the voices a little, but if not and if you are open to some suggestions tonight - sometimes things like progressive muscle relaxation, listening to an audiobook to fall asleep to, or distractions with physical sensations can also be helpful - depending on which way you want to go that can be a warm shower and a warm drink or a cold shower, having something spicy etc.

Take care, you are not alone in this - we are all sitting here with you to offer support. 🍁

Thankyou @NightHedgehog, I did reach out to lifeline earlier tonight to talk things through but it wasn't really helpful. It's just exhausting constantly fighting your own mind, it's like a never ending battle with yourself. It helps a little to get things out i guess you could say, it doesn't quiten them for long but it's at least a few moments of peace while I'm writing.

As for distractions tonight, I feel like I've tried everything. I listened to music, listened to an audiobook, watched some of my TV shows, did my colouring, watched some videos on my phone, had a cool drink, had some sour lollies, walked around for a bit, snuggled with my puppy Casper and of course tried a grounding exercise. But alas nothing has worked this time around. (I'm safe).

My head hurts and I just feel blah, I want to sleep but everytime I try they get louder. Sigh, it's going to be a long night but I've technically already made it through the night given that it's tomorrow now 😂.