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Managing thoughts of suicide & self-harm

Battles

Battles

Hi all, does anyone else just feel like life is just one big sh!t show? It's just one thing after another, constant drama, family issues, money struggles, stress, anxiety it's just always something.

When do things get easier, do things ever change?

I've been through more than i care to think about in my life but today has pushed me to breaking point and it's bringing up alot of bad memories of previous suicide attempts.

I just feel like it's not worth it, it's not worth fighting, not worth hanging on anymore.

13216 replies

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In response to: Battles

Re: Battles

@Chasingsunsets the rest of the day hasn't been too bad but the heat has hit me and made me feel a bit icky. It's rather warm here today about 29⁰, not really looking forward to summer.

I leave my phone for 5 minutes and come back to a million notifications and then have to try to catch up 😂. Hope you've been able to find your coin?

In response to: Battles

Re: Battles

@AuntGlow every other level is ok other than vitamin D which was ever so slightly low but nothing major. I just wasn't expecting the insulin to be high but then I started thinking about what I've done to myself previously with medications, I haven't had a chance to talk to my GP about it yet and whether it's what could have caused or contributed to this. I was sort of shocked by the results and everything just sort of went blank while he talked about what the results mean. So it was only after that I stopped and thought about what could have lead to these results. I've done a bit of a google search regarding particular medications and the long term effects and it seems like it's a real possibility that I've caused this. I am trying hard to be gentle with myself but occasionally I'm slipping with that (don't worry, I'm safe).

Thankyou, it means alot to hear that ❤️.

I was thinking today about trying to look into the guided recovery program through sane cos I could really do with the support at the moment given other counsellors have given up on me.

No shame in having a cry about it, sometimes it's just a matter of finding that motivation to make a start and then everything will hopefully flow from there. You can do it, i believe in you ❤️

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

Hello @NightFury my sweet, how are you going?

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

Hi there @MissGremlin I had a rough night, and tapped out of the forums early because I got triggered and emotional and cried myself to sleep. It was nothing that really had anything to do with the forums and more to do with me feeling overwhelmed and not knowing how to carry it or communicate it.

I woke up this morning, feeling heavy and really down.

We had our athletics carnival at school today, so it was a busy day. And I've not stopped since I got home. I've just handed in the draft of my last assignment so that it can be marked and handed back to me, then I can make edits and submit it. I've been working on it since 4 pm.

I'm exhausted.

How are you, my friend?

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

@NightFury sorry to hear it was a rough night for you. I hear you, sometimes I get like that and step back from the forums but often it's not the forums as such its more that it's just been one little thing that's tipped me over the edge.

Waking up and feeling heavy and down is hard, sending you hugs sweet ❤️.

Sounds like a very busy day for you, have you been able to fit in a bit of self care tonight? I'm so proud of you for getting it done sweet, you really are doing amazing ❤️.

I'm feeling a mixture of things. A meeting this morning triggered flashbacks, being in the same room as I was a couple of years ago where something happened. I spent the afternoon calming myself down and just sitting quietly. I'm laying in bed now with Casper, thinking about trying to have an early night.

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

I've had little moments of self-care. I brought myself a coffee before work this morning, and I've just sat down with a cup of sleep tea and a chocolate. @MissGremlin I need to work on starting to slow down and getting some space from my assignment or I won't sleep tonight.

An early night is great self-care. Listen to your body. It sounds like it's had a tough day and needs some rest and some down time.

I'm sorry to hear that things have been hard for you today.

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

@NightFury little moments count, so glad you have been able to fit some in. Slowing down now and getting some space from your assignment sounds like a good idea, sounds like your body needs a good night's rest after a busy day aswell.

I think i definitely need an early night and hopefully tomorrow things will feel better.

I hope you can get a good night's rest sweet, I'll check in with you tomorrow. Sending you hugs ❤️

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

Good night, my friend @MissGremlin

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

Night night @NightFury my sweet ❤️

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

Good evening @MissGremlin! Hope you have cooled down sounds like it was a hot day!

Yes I know what you mean re notifications which Indi could be my personal assistant and type responses so I could multitask!

Nah no luck on the coin yet but it’s turned into a find, sort and clean mission - massive only have moments like this once or twice a year where top to toe things get sorted like this lol.

I think the coffee is wearing off so I think I’ll be in bed soon.
How’s your evening been?

Hi @AuntGlow lovely to see you on the forum! Good luck with your essay, sounds stressful, worth it in the end though hey!! Hope your day has been ok despite the essay being in the way! 😊

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