Battles

hey @MissGremlin!! how are you going?

@rav3n feeling really down. Things are getting so much worse and it's scary. Yes I'm trying to reach out for support to crisis services aswell, well the only one I can anyway. Did actually have the courage to ring today and question the reason for being restricted, although the person I spoke to couldn't find anything about it which is why she took my chat and called me back. Then she apologised to me for picking up the chat in case it was confusing for me, I'm like literally you may have just saved my life cos I'm trying to reach out for support when I'm really at a critical point and if I'd been rejected, well who knows what could have happened.

Bumped into my mother at the shops and my oldest child and it was just such an awkward encounter which hurts like hell cos it shouldn't be like this. So then I cried driving home, really do feel like such a screw up and like i can't do anything right.

But I'm trying my hardest to get through this, it's just taking alot out of me and sometimes it's 1 step forward and a million steps backwards.

@MissGremlin bumping into people unexpectedly especially when you're already going through it can be difficult, hey. but i'm so so glad you've been reaching out and calling helplines too - so proud of you 💙

absolutely hear you about the 'one step forward and a million steps back', i've felt that before too. but from my perspective, i'm seeing 1. you're reaching out to supports, 2. you're working on more recovery-focused posting, and 3. most important of all - you are still trying.

i know it can feel discouraging when things don't go as we'd hoped, but that doesn't make you less worthy. that doesn't make you a screw up. it makes you... human!

sending you lots of gentle hugs

Thanks @rav3n ❤️.

I want to chat but my headspace is not great and I'm just constantly thinking of how much I bother people and knowing that everyone has had enough of having to put up with me.

Not sure how to put a recovery focused thing to that one 😕

@MissGremlin well recovery-focused posts essentially mean you're letting the community know that you're safe or how you're working on staying safe/challenging thoughts/soothing yourself or how you'd like to be supported, etc - this is so the community isn't worried about your safety and they can support you better.

for example - you letting us know that you're have a rough time but you are reaching out to a helpline when things are getting overwhelming is recovery focused - hope that makes sense? we can always help if you are struggling with it.

i assure you, you are NOT a bother. and please know that if myself, any of the mods or any of the members don't respond to you immediately - it's not us saying 'we don't care'. we all very much care about you. and i wish i had 100 hands so i could reply to everyone faster!! but please know you matter heaps.

and it's totally okay if you're not in the headspace to chat, but you want to. we're still here and we still care.

@rav3n yes I do understand that. It's just hard in those moments sometimes to think and word things properly.

I know just brain is great at telling me otherwise, always goes to the worst case scenario situation etc.

Thankyou ❤️.

Casper had his first vet visit with me today.

i hear that @MissGremlin it's hard to think about when we're in distress! that's why us mods are on the look out too 😊

hate when the brain goes survival mode and thinks of the worst outcomes! but i hope with practice and support, it'll get a lil bit easier each time to remember the good thoughts 💙

aww!! how'd it go??

@rav3n i hope so. It would be nice to not constantly have negative thoughts.

It went well, the vet was very impressed with how gentle and well behaved Casper is. He takes treats ever so gently, the vet thinks he is absolutely gorgeous.

I'm going to try and get an early night. Hope to chat to you again sometime. Have a good weekend. Night ❤️

Night @MissGremlin ,

Take care. I'm hopping off to bed now too.

Night @tyme.

Hehe, that sounds funny to say. Night tyme instead of night time. Yes I'm easily amused 😂.

Hope you have a good night and weekend.