Battles

@MissGremlin no comfort? No soft fuzzy thing or warm cup of tea or favourite song? Those comforts mean everything to me when my world is darkest.

If you are noticing red flags hun, please take the steps you need to keep yourself safe ok? We will be in your corner all the way 💜

@Jynx nope, nothing 😞.

What's the point anymore?

@MissGremlin I hear how dark it's all feeling, and that worries me. What are you doing to keep yourself safe tonight darlin?

You deserve support that will be sufficient for your needs, and that might not be here on the forums where we cannot give you the comfort of immediacy. Whenever my emotions spike and I know I'm getting bad, I need someone HERE and NOW. And well... as you can see it can sometimes take me half an hour to even see a message, let alone reply. I want that for you hun, to feel held in this moment, as you deserve 💜

@Jynx I don't know.

These forums are all I've got, I don't have anyone that would be here for me. I could message every person on my so called friends list and not one person would take the time to reply cos truth is they aren't even friends, they are just people that have known me at some point in my life. So reality is I feel cared about here on the forums and it's the one place I feel like i matter. But the question is, is it enough to keep me here tonight.

I'm sorry, I'm just really hurting tonight and things are dark. I'm questioning every little thing that's happened in my life, every mistake I've made, every choice I've made. Life isn't meant to be this hard so maybe living isn't for me.

hey @MissGremlin just popped in and noticed you're really struggling at the moment, i'm so sorry to hear how hard it is. but that mean you don't deserve to be here. unfortunately we live in a world where we don't always get what we deserve, and amazing people like you get handed a shit deck - but please know you're not alone and that change IS possible. you are so capable of rising from it. despite all that life's thrown at you, you're here, and you've made so many people's life a brighter place. and i know you can get through this because you've conquered before.

like Jynx mentioned, the forums can't provide immediate support or counselling support which has us both worried for your safety tonight.

can we brainstorm a lil list for ya to stay safe? and if you do feel like acting on those thoughts, have a number ready to call (crisis line or 000).

you deserve to be here. and you deserve the right support.

@rav3n we can try i guess.

I can't even think properly right now to reply to everything, I'm sorry.

@MissGremlin Oh wow hun, from how many big conclusive statements you're making, that does sound like a spiral.

As gently as I can say this, and like I know how much the forums means to you, I jus don't think this is where you need to be right now.

If you're not able to get in touch with a crisis service yourself tonight, let us know and we will contact emergency services on your behalf.

@Jynx here is better than any crisis service right now. Believe that cos I've already reached out and got let down.

@MissGremlin no stress, let's come up as many activities/strategies so you can hop between various ones.

- doing the a-z technique, finding something around you that starts with each letter, but to add a twist: you create an artwork by drawing all objects on one piece of paper

- watching your comfort show (Buffy? Angel?)

- attempt some cartwheels/handstands/dance moves, etc

- listening to your comfort instrumentals while you do these activities

- pick a random topic and do some research into it, and share what you've learnt with the forums social groups

- read your list of words describing you (the one you created here)

- try an online game like connect4 and try outsmart the computer

- check out solfeggio sounds

here's a couple to get ya started, got some more to add to the list?

Thanks @rav3n, there's a few things there. I can't think of anything else to add right now so I'll just give some of them a go and see what happens.