Battles

@AuntGlow I'm honestly not sure. All that we did last time was stand on the doorstep talking. I've only met her once and that was to go through paperwork.

Maybe. I'm just getting worked up and restless, struggling to keep still. Thankyou for the hugs, very much needed ❤️. Casper is snoozing away, he was on top of me but I had to move as I can't lay on my back for too long. I rolled over and he slid off, letting out a long sigh 😂.

I thought maybe by not having a nap today that I'd be able to sleep tonight, but still I'm lying here awake. The day was hard, I had urges that were so strong but I kept myself busy, I did so much just to keep myself safe. I'm so sore and restless, every part of my body aches and my head is pounding. I really want to be able to sleep but I can't get comfortable or switch the thoughts and urges off. I tried to reach out to a crisis service but didn't even have the strength of energy to chat to them. Tonight is one of those nights where things feel too heavy and I'm feeling really stuck on what to do. I've done my usual things to try to distract and calm but I don't feel like anything has shifted, rather things have intensified. I feel so much tension inside my body, I've been trying to relax my shoulders and jaw but the second I stop focusing they go straight back to being tense. I'm safe and laying in bed with Casper, I'm trying to focus on my breathing and listening to the wind blowing gently outside.

Hey @MissGremlin, I can hear how hard you are fighting to stay safe from the urges tonight. Night time can be a difficult time to wind down as there are little distractions like during the day. It's a common experience for people to struggle with this, so know you're not alone in your struggles 🌺

You are doing all the right things to try and cope with the overwhelming thoughts and urges, and sometimes it can feel like it's not working or not doing enough to soothe the restlessness. I imagine you have already tried, but it may be helpful to look up some breathing exercises on YouTube to follow. We will also include a couple links which may have some ideas you haven't tried yet: Sleep and mental health | Lifeline | Relaxing and calming exercises | Mind ⬅️

It's also important you continue reaching out to supports as you need them!

Take care, and we hope that Casper is bringing you a lot of comfort tonight 🌿

Hello @NightPixie, thankyou for your kind words and the links. I was up and down through the night but when I woke up I just tried to focus on my breathing and snuggling Casper. It's morning and I'm hoping today is an easier day than yesterday.

Evening @MissGremlin, how are you going? How’s your back? I’m struggling with energy today 😌

on the bright side I finished the colour orange lol xx

Hello @Chasingsunsets, can relate to not having energy today. I feel completely zapped.

Yay for finishing the colour orange, well done ☺️.

Ah @MissGremlin where is our charging station when we need it? 🙈. Indi is lying across my chest atm it’s actually a good pressure doesn’t normally lay how’s she lying so meds still playing there part lol.

i read Casper slid off the bed the last night that make me chuckle!!

what are you up to?

@Chasingsunsets haha my charging station is broken 😂. Awww i love the pressure when they lay across you. That's what Casper was doing last night but I had to roll over as I can't be on my back for long and as I did he slid off, not onto the floor luckily, but it was the fact he let out a sigh 😂.

I just had dinner, need to do my dishes soon but so much effort.

I’ll have to send you a new one @MissGremlin 🫶, with a backup generator lol.

Yes the pressure is good, do you like weighted blankets?

how is your back going?

hah dishes so boring I have a good song if you want some dishes motivation lol

@Chasingsunsets definitely need one with a backup generator 😂.

I do, I have several of them. Not that I need one with Casper though 😂. But I don't even feel mine when it's on me now so it's nice when he's laying across me especially when I'm having panic attacks.

My back is ok today, only a little bit sore. I bounce back quickly but it was horrible last night, my whole body ached.

Now you got me curious of the song, even though i just finished my dishes 😂