Lying here awake and I have so many thoughts racing through me. I find myself questioning how I've been able to get to this point, what's kept me going. Everything i thought that played a part in keeping me here feels completely insignificant right now. But for whatever the reason I'm still here and for now maybe that's enough. I'm safe and I'm snuggled with Casper. Here's a poem I wrote to help get things out.
I say I'm fine, I always do,
even when I know it's untrue.
No one sees what’s really there,
because I feel that people don't care.
I keep it in, I shut it tight,
I try so hard to pretend I'm alright.
I tell myself it’s not that bad,
even when I feel so sad.
I don’t talk about the pain,
I just go quiet, stay the same.
I act like nothing’s really wrong,
like I've been coping all along.
But truth is, I feel stuck and low,
like I've got nowhere left to go.
The things I used to love are gone,
and getting through just feels so long.
Some days I wish we wasn't here,
that thought alone brings guilt and fear.
I feel like I'm too much to take,
like I'm a burden, just a mistake.
Each day’s a fight to just get by,
to not give up, to still try.
Even breathing feels like work,
with all these thoughts that always lurk.
But I'm still here, I made it through,
another day I didn’t lose.
And maybe that’s enough for now,
I'm still here and that counts somehow.
@Jynx @AuntGlow
