Battles

Confusion about how we feel is utterly, well, confusing! And I think when we can't put things into categories like 'good' or 'bad' it can create a real sense of panic for our minds that love patterns and predictability. It's tough, because confusion isn't necessarily bad or good, it's just an absence of clarity. So, I wonder, what would it be like to explore curiosity next time you feel this way? For example, writing down questions about what you're confused about with the reframe of, 'what am I curious about here?' @MissGremlin

Of course, I am always here to listen. 💛

And maybe this is something you can explore with the family counsellor? It sounds like you're not too complex for them (or us). 🥰

@AuntGlow I'm trying to remember what my last post said about this 😂. I'll have to go back and find it to jog my memory. It's a good idea but I do struggle to reframe things when I'm in that space.

Thankyou ❤️.

It's something I did touch base about with my counsellor, but I'm not sure how much she can help with it. It's hard that I still have 2 weeks until I can talk to her again.

I understand @MissGremlin 🙏, think I’ll have to bounce soon though, can’t keep my eyes open 😜😴. I hope you can have an easy restful night 🫶. Thinking of you though and hope to connect soon- enjoy chatting as always

@Chasingsunsets hope you can get a good night's sleep sweet ❤️

You too @MissGremlin 💛, take care my friend

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@MissGremlin wrote:

@AuntGlow it's really hard at times cos I get confused with how I'm feeling. There's times where I know i should feel a certain way (it's been brought to my attention) but instead I feel the opposite. It's so programmed into me and i both need and want proper support to be able to change it.

Your understanding and compassion around this really means alot, so thankyou ❤️.

The family counsellor that i have now is the first one I've actually had. Noone else has ever been willing or able to take me on cos I'm too complex. So I don't even know how to get that proper support.

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This was the last post I was responding to! @MissGremlin 🫶

@AuntGlow thankyou sweet. I reply to so many posts sometimes that its hard to remember half of what I write 😂

Tonight is proving to be really hard, my thoughts and urges are really intense and I can't seem to shake them. I've tried so hard doing many different activities but nothing has worked other than to just pass the time. I feel scared and alone, I'm not tired so can't even try to sleep. I reached out to a crisis service earlier but I didn't find it helpful and I'm trying to not bother them cos I don't feel like I deserve the support and there's so many people out there that do so I don't want to take up space.

I'm so tired of fighting, everyday I try to find that hope of things changing but it never happens.

I'm safe for now, sitting on my lounge with the TV on in the background and Casper laying on the floor in front of me. I just don't know what to do 😞

Hi @MissGremlin

I can hear how heavy things are feeling for you tonight carrying those strong urges and loud thoughts. You've done so well already, trying all of the coping mechanisms and reaching out to the crisis service when you needed extra support. It can definitely be scary when it feels like the things that are supposed to work and help just aren't. I hear how lonely and exhausting it can feel to have to fight everyday, hoping for change. You've shown so much strength just today, but you don't have to carry this on your own.

You are so deserving of support and getting the support you need. You're allowed to take up space. I know you didn't find the connection with the crisis service to be very helpful today, however maybe you can give another service like Beyond Blue or Lifeline a try when you're wanting that extra support.

You've been so strong today! Take kind, gentle care of yourself tonight

- SunsetSunrise

Hello @SunsetSunrise, thankyou for your kind words. Only 1 of those services are an option for me which is the one i tried earlier tonight. I really don't want to waste their time though when there's so many people that need support. It's hard when I talk to them cos not all of them understand about where things are currently at for me, it's not a matter of needing them to fix anything, it's just needing connection.

I'm safe for now.