Battles

@Ru-bee events that are happening now. The trauma that's impacted others that I'm left to try and pick up the pieces from. But it's all my fault 😞

I didn't get through to SANE, the call ended just after the hour mark cos they are too busy.

hi @MissGremlin that's some heavy feeling to sit with. trauma is a tricky one where it can impact you and others too, but that doesn't mean it's your fault!! you're not defined by the trauma, and you definitely did NOT deserve it. maybe it's hard for your mind to believe that right now, but you always deserve to be treated with kindness 💙

is there another line that you feel comfy calling? sitting with you.

Hello @rav3n but it is my fault, if I'd gotten out of the situation sooner then maybe things wouldn't be like this now. If only I'd had the courage to kick this person out many years earlier than what I did, why wasn't I strong enough?. I hate myself for what I've allowed to happen, I'm constantly reminded of it. I know not intentionally cos they don't understand but it hurts like hell.

It's really only SANE that I can talk to openly about this situation. Thanks.

@MissGremlin awh i'm so sorry you feel this way. carrying around that guilt sounds painful and exhausting. you did the best you could at the time, and you're here now which matters most.

it's okay to be angry, to feel hurt, and to grieve those moments from the past. but just because you’re feeling those emotions, it doesn’t mean you’re weak. it means you're human. take your time to process them, i'm here for you.

totally fair, hopefully you can give them another ring later if you feel up to it? all good if you don't.

@rav3n I just give up.

@MissGremlin did you mean you give up on giving them a call?

what sort of support do you reckon would be helpful for you right now?

@rav3n i want to give up on everything.

@Jynx are you around?

@MissGremlin i'm so sorry you feel that way, i hear how heavy those feelings are. i am worried for your safety though, are you able to stay safe at the moment?

@rav3n I don't know. I think so.

@MissGremlin glad you're safe for now, totally get that it's hard to stay safe with all those feelings floating around. have you made a safety plan before?