Battles

@MissGremlin gentle hugs beautiful, if the kitchen floor is safe for you then you just stay there. I think we can all relate in some way to that feeling of being paralysed. Mental illness is insidious and cruel, add to that the pressure of what else you have going on I so amazed that you are able to string a sentence together.

Be kind to yourself sweetheart, I am proud of you and your ability to connect with others while you are in such a place of pain.

I wish I could take it from you.
Hugs my precious Gremlin xoxo

@MissGremlin checking in on you, my friend.

Thankyou @ENKELI sweetheart ❤️. The kitchen floor does feel safe though it's not exactly comfy, gonna need to put a cushion down for myself I think seeing I seem to spend alot of time there lately. My mental health is the worst it's ever been which scares me (I'm safe), trying so hard to get support but it's proving to be impossible.

It's hard to be kind to myself at the moment, I'm frustrated with how I am and everything going on. But I did have a shower earlier and I think that's a good as my self care gets today.

Thankyou for being so supportive and understanding, your kindness truly means so much to me. Sending you lots of love and hugs beautiful ❤️

@NightFury today has been really hard. I dozed off about 10am today for a short time and woke up crying but once I was awake the tears just stopped suddenly. I spent a while laying on the lounge dissociating and stuck with very heavy thoughts until I finally was able to get myself out of that state and I hopped into the shower. Then tonight I found myself on the kitchen floor in a bad state, with lots of scary thoughts, i fought with everything I had to just breathe through it without acting on anything and then the tears started flowing. I was actually surprised I was able to get myself out of it safely.

I'm safe and in bed now with Casper and my diamond art in front of me. I have a headache and feeling pretty blah.

How are things over there sweet?

Thankyou for checking in, I appreciate it so much ❤️.

Oh, my friend, that sounds so so hard @MissGremlin I'm glad you've had Casper with you through it.

It sounds to me like you needed to release those tears. They can weigh so heavy, and be so hard to carry. And I do it too - stop them from flowimg, but then they build up and build up until you're about ready to burst.

I'm glad you let them out.

@NightFury Casper was doing his best to both distract and offer comfort but unfortunately I struggled to interact with him in that moment, but he's snuggled up with me now.

They did exactly that, they built up to a point where I couldn't hold them back they just started flowing but it was only a brief period before I stopped them. I don't like crying cos it makes me feel out of control but in that moment I was fighting so hard to stay in control and those tears were the result of how hard I was fighting the thoughts (I'm safe).

He was just reminding you that you weren't alone and that was what was needed at the time @MissGremlin

I'm glad you let some of them out. You're grieving, and it's important that you allow yourself to go through it.

@NightFury yes he was, I'm glad he was there with me.

Grieving is hard and allowing myself to process what's happened is scary and I'm not sure where to really begin. I'm still very much in that stage if disbelief, unable to accept that it's actually true.

Hope you're doing ok my sweet.

Grieving is hard! @MissGremlin I can relate to that.

I'm okay. Just trying to wind down so I can head to bed soon, but I'm kinda anxious and wound up tonight. Tired, but wired.

@MissGremlin there are so many words that I could say to you but honestly, I know that nothing I say will change where you are and how you feel.

I am sitting with you, hoping and praying that there is and end coming soon to the bad things

xoxo