Battles

@AlwaysMyself

@AuntGlowI'm glad you are well and it sounds like therapy is helpful for you.

My counselling appointment was tough but I didn't even have it in me to show emotion, I've gone numb which I don't like. She's talked about doing a couple of referrals but they will only be able to potentially provide advice on the housing situation which really is the least of my problems right now. She knows my current thoughts and where things are sitting for me and just says hopefully we will talk next fortnight.

The mental health team rang a short while ago and no surprises but they don't think there's any services that they can provide me, she said she'll speak to her manager on Monday and then ring back to let me know. They were the last resort, there's literally noone else that we haven't already tried. I'm too broken to be fixed, I'm too complex for anyone to help, I'm completely defeated.

I'm safe for now.

I'm doing my bedtime routine now.

@AlwaysMyself

@MissGremlin i am so glad to hear from you (and the cow is so beautiful finished 😍).

I am disappointed for you that the MH service have not come through with anything, even knowing the stakes. I know it is difficult with the animals, but would hospital be possible if they made allowance for Casper to join you as a support animal (in training)? (Esp in a MH ward, where IPC is less of an issue).

I also hope you talk to your counsellor again next fortnight. (Can they support to see you more often at the moment, if that would help you?)

What supports for MH would help you at current? (If only they were available and accessible)

Hi @MissGremlin ,

I'm sorry to hear how difficult your situation if for you right now.

Despite this going on, what self-care are you engaging in to keep as well as you can?

@AlwaysMyself thankyou sweet ❤️. I'm feeling very stuck now that I've finished the cow though, I was using that to focus on to help get me through. I feel like I'm not being taken seriously by these services, like they down play what I say to them.

Problem with that is that I've had to put everything on hold with his official training cos I can't afford to do anything. I'm not sure how he would go in hospital either cos he's very much still a puppy and gets excited to see people being that I never have anyone around to see me.

My counsellor technically isn't qualified to support me but she continues to talk to me being that I have no other support. So there's not the option to talk to her more often.

I'm really not even sure now, I've given up on the possibility of being able to get the support I need.

In case it needed to be said, I'm safe for now.

@tyme i did the diamond art cow and now I'm stuck.

Hey @MissGremlin , Yes, we really appreciate you confirming your safety because based on what you are sharing, it can be quite concerning in terms of your safety.

So thank you so much for confirming.

I hear how hard it is. I've been trying to imagine what this 'cow' is that you have been working on. Thanks so much for posting the pic! I 'see' it now!

The colours are amazing! Have you ever done the larger diamond art?

@tyme those 2 words really are so hard to say at the moment though. And I say that cos its hard when you don't feel safe within yourself and are constantly having to assess the situation to make sure that you are actually safe. But again I'll say it to avoid getting in trouble, I'm safe for now.

Yes I've done a couple of bigger diamond art pictures. Just at the moment my focus isn't really there so little ones are better.

Sorry to hear it is so hard at the moment. I really admire you in that you were able to reach out to your support network and ask for support. I hope you hear back from them next week with some good news @MissGremlin

Any support is better than no support?

Thank you for confirming your safety.

@tyme what support network? Noone is helping me other than a counsellor that refuses to give up on me cos she knows that noone else with help me.