Life can be a Pain

Big Hugzz @OwlunarDec. - we don't have to only be giver here you know. Its OK to reachbout too. I hear you and wish you well. Its so hard with mobility barriers. You've been so brave, plz keep going 🙂 Understand when ya feeling down its hard to read everyone's woes here and feel it with us (the caring soul you are), even Jesus had to withdraw. Just do the best you can Dec. That's all you can do 💜❤💜❤💜❤💜❤💜

I watched a few epispodes of a TV seriers that I liked - I got the DVD set ---- what show did you get @Owlunar

and will be thinking of you on wednesday xoxo

Hello @Former-Member

Hi @Shaz51@Former-Member

Thanks for your messages and your understanding - I so appreciate both

I think I feel overwhelmed right now - I am having an MRI and today I asked my doctor what was likely to happen and of course he can't tell until he gets the results and that might be a couple of weeks

Amazing that I got an appointment so fast

I have had severe depression and anxiety in my life so yes - I know what it feels like to feel so terrible the nights last forever and everything is too much effort - so this is easy besides that - but still I feel uneasy - and it is good that there are so many people in the forum now - it can be okay to let other people take over for a short time and I get myself half-way decent forumwise

Could be tomorrow

Could be later tonight

The DVD series I got is This is US - it was expensive but I love that show, I thought I had watched the recorded shows often enough at the time but no - there was a lot that I forgot

It's impossible to explain this series to anyone - in needs to be watched from the beginning

Thanks my dear and awesome friends - it's so good to know you are there

Dec

ohhh @Owlunar,always here for you my awesome friend xoxoxo

Thanks @Shaz51

That is so good to know

I won't know the results of my MRI for a while - but today I think I will be glad to know because I don't know whether to rest my knee or exercise it and as well as getting it stuck in one position for a while can cause it to freeze up and hurt like geewillekers when I try to move it - oh boy - this is something I could do without

But then - when I walk I can feel it but as far as pain goes when I am walking - that's not hard - but I can feel something clicking - even hear it sometimes - and it feels strange

So yes - I know it's a wonky knee - whatever is causing it

Before I had the other two knee arthroscopies the pain was much worse - I need to reflect upon that -

Thanks Shaz - you are always there and always uplifting and down-settling

Dec

@Shaz51@Former-Member@utopia

I have started to feel really weird and shaky today - it came on when I was getting my lunch and my knee clicked and caved a couple of times - so yes - time to watch the rest of my DVD set today

But I got a phone call about the Age Care Package that will be going Federal in 2019 - and this freaks me out really - will things be that same? Will I get the package I have been having or will I have time removed - this feels really unsettling and I am coming unstuck at the edges a bit

So I think I willl take a walk up to the shops and at least get some fresh air though I can't think of a thing I want to eat for dinner yet -

Back later - it's time for me to try and settle myself -

Dec

Gosh @Owlunar, any wonder you feel shaking at the foundations. I agree with @utopia that you need to be mindful of enough water intake (especially if its hot like it is here), diet and meds etc Can you ring a HomeCall Doctor to your house there - If things get worse? Do you think its anxiety? Has anything helped this in the past. Is there a phone support you can call, just to tell voice concerns? Takes the edge off distress for me if I tell someone. Also, your Community Support Provider could help answer your concerns? Often changes impact new clients, not existing, and it's 2yrs off. But your mobility is most important so get that knee sorted - as hard as it is. Keep reminding drs how important it is to you to be independent.

DVD's are a good escape.

Praying this week works out for you. 💜💕🌷🌿🐦

Hi @Former-Member@utopia@Shaz51@Faith-and-Hope

Thanks so much for your thoughtful messagess

I did ring Life LIne yesterday and just talked about the things that have been bothering me - once I started talking I realised I was bottling a lot up - living alone as I do - and many others would understand this - I don't just air my thoughts much and so that was helpful

About my knee - it did cave on me rather badly yesterday and I had taken my regular medication and had lunch - it was when I was preparing bacon and eggs on toast that my knee started to cave - and yes - this was enough - but then

I got the call about the Federal Aged Care Package - I have been on a State Funded Package for a long time - I was one of the agencies first clients and I have 5 core hours which would be hard to get now - so yes - wondering when things change in 2019 (which does seem a long way off but we are 3/4 of the way through this year - is not something I can take lightly

Of course a lot of people - me included - want to stay in their own homes for as long as possible - for me the rest of my life sounds good - and the Government wants this but they are certainly happy to keep us out of hospitals (which I like) but they are less concerned about how this is funded - and it's the uncertainty

Like other people I do not like things to change - and with my knee behaving badly I am really disturbed

My case worker has been helpful about these changes - I will still be cared for by the same agency but how well I will be funded is bothering me a whole lot - my back, my shoulders and one knee - all giving me a hard time if I push anything - and I tend to be competitive

Anyway - I was warned that I was to be asked some questions that everyone is asked and not to be offended - but regardless - I felt pretty aggravated - eg - am I violent?

Wow - I am sure the agency would already know this and the answers to some of the others which I don't feel free to write here for political reasons - but yes - I felt my voice toughen and rise somewhat - I found it hard to stick to the "No" asnwers until I got to the last one - "Do I have a pet?" - and my Companion Cat is not likely to upset anyone but I have to shut her in the bedroom while the person who is coming next Wednesday is here

This is ridiculous - if people are allergic to cats putting the cat in another room won't help. The cat's fur and dander and DNA is everywhere - of course I can shut the cat in another room but I am not happy about doing that but I have to in order to get a package apparently

So yes - really bad - I had other things to do and I could not - I tried to walk up the street to get myself a treat - not happening - I had to come home and took something for the knee pain and went to sleep for a while and that was good

I feel okay today but the interview yesterday rubbed my up the wrong way as well as causing me anxiety

Not good - my case plan is to enable me to continue living alone with as little stress as possible and this is major stress

Thanks so much for your thoughtful messages

Dec