Life can be a Pain

Hi @Former-Member

Oh cripes - the bins - how often have I forgotten? - I wake up hearing the bin men coming and I have grabbed my trakky pants and charged out in bare feet and run down with the bins - or one of them - but lately I have given that up - there is nothing like a stacked bin for me to take it down early - but yes

Nothing quite like tripping on a cold and frosty morning to bring you down to earth - I have done that too - I write - take the bins out on Monday in my phone - good idea but then how often do I still put it off until I am out in my dressing gown on Wednesday morning before I go to bed

So - pill diaries - I write mine in a spiral notebook - I tear out the old ones now and again but it's easy to keep track of my slow release tablets - I have one night and morning and I not only write it but count them - and I have missed on that I have written down - I get distracted now and again and the pain when I miss one of those - I do not know why people would want to stop their medication - the tablets only hide the pain - it is still there - aw - what a bad time I can have until I have picked up my notebook and noticed I wrote it down and counted the blister pack and one was missed - there are no words for my thinking at that moment and I have lost a day waiting to catch up - like you - I do not want to get mixed up

I hope you get out into the garden - I would like to do that but I have to get dressed and I am still here in my daggies - I have some mince I wanted to make into patties to freeze and luckily - the meat is still fine - so glad of that - all I have to do is to get an onion into little bits and mix up the meat and add some herbs and roll them into little balls and freeze most of them - so easy - but after a slow start just taking my time - yesterday was so weird - I am glad I am better today

Your son - yes - I do understand - I went through this with my daughter - I think that she was so needy as a baby - not thriving and wanting to be cuddled all the time - this turned into something she had to fight against when she married and had instant family with her own baby and step children - she was touchy for years - but things changed - I have an idea what happened but it was a case of my patience and prayers and knowing that people who sit on the fence as she was doing get splinters in uncomfortable places. It was hard waiting

Your son is not the same and he has a broken arm but I think my daughter and your son have lost a sibling and as a parent I found that the surviving child becomes incredibly precious in such circumstances and they need to push away and well - I had stopped holding my daughter and she just spun off into space but time took its course too and she found her way back to her responsible life and has done well

So with all this wisdom I still can't see the future for your son but my guess is that time will pass and maybe with a broken arm things are a little chaotic around his home right now and although I know you don't mind this - I think he does - he probably wants you to see he can manage

I understand how you feel too - I was so worried about my daughter when she had active melanoma but it was very much "back off Mum" - and it is hard - it is very hard - we never did intend to only have one child

I had better get dressed too and make those patties - see how much chicken is left on the carcas and take a walk around the block - it is just a lovely day -

Sending more hugs Lapses

Time for lunch

Dec

hugs @Owlunar sorry its taken me this long to get here.

hope your doing ok

hello to everyone here too @Former-Member@Shaz51@Appleblossom

hello @outlander, my little sister , how are you tonight

Hi @outlander

I have been reading your posts here and there on my phone - I can't actually use my phone to post - but I read it wherever I am

I am concerned that you feel as if you don't ift in - actually I know you have trouble relating to people but here it doesn't matter - if I didn't know how young you are I would assume yuou were older - and you do have a wonderful way of relating to people and your short messages straight to the point and perfect as they are, You have no need to worry that you are inadequate in any way

Still I hear you - you feel as if you don't fit it. That is how you feel and that's okay - life is not kind to people who are different and we all are actually - there are many people wiggle themselves into round pegs to fit the round holes and now bad is that if we are square-shaped - and my son - I often felt he was a star-shaped personality - how hard it that to get into a round hole

Have you thought what shape your personality is? It does't matter unless we are so miserable that we can't fit into society - but honestly - why do we feel such a terrible need to change who we are for society

Perhaps it's too lonely - maybe that's true - but I can only know you through your writing and the battles you write of and I think you are fine - your battles with your family are unfair and people are trying to make you different -

We are who we are

But as for your health - it does seem as if you are most unwell - you are badly run down and no wonder with so little sleep and the fighting with your mother and your fear of fighting with your mother and no wonder again. You are not treated as a person with rights and priviledges but rather used as if you were less than that

But because you are treated that way doesn't mean you are that way - you have a long way to go but you are on your way - I have noticed you have a few different ideas

All the best - they say what stresses us is how we grow - not easy - but true

My best thoughts

Dec

Thinking if you @Dec, be strong 💜🌷💜🌷💜

That's really wonderful @Former-Member

I love it

btw - regarding tonight's subject about the problems facing young people these days - I am hoping to bring up the subject of sibling grief and how it affects young people

I think I might make the point now in case I fall asleep or something

I hope you are okay today

Dec

Hi @Former-Member

I didn't get into the discussion last night - darn it - I went to sleep watching TV again - I was really tired yesterday and yes - it's back pain @utopia - I have stopped trying to work out why it plays up at times

Lapses - your son and my daughter have similar dynamics it seems - my marriage was pretty silent and sad - if it had not been for my son I sometimes think we would have still been together and not know how unhappy both of us were - but then - I can never really know

I had depression and anxiety when my son died and I was allowed out of hospital for the funeral - I was there because of my car accident - and so I guess I had a form of MI at the time - when my father died my daughter told me she understood by that time that I had to go to back to hospital but it seemed to her that she was a young teenager and her brother had died and there was no one there for her

Actually I had thought about that - but I could do whatever and I tried but her father was a silent and morose man and I think he still is - he was the kind of person who is absent when he is standing in the same room and I have no idea what kind of relationship my daughter has with her father now but I am pretty sure that his second family is the priority - and this has to be sad for my daughter but she really says so little I doubt I will ever know

So Lapses - though my daughter is a lot older than your son it seems that they have a lot in common with the death of a sibling - absent father - mother with health issues - and that has to be hard when young people do have to fight for their independence and wow - they have grief at the lost of their sibling and so much is never said

My family of origin never talked about anything like that - it was all shoved under the table or worse - under the carpet - things in the world are more open now but we have to fight for it -

It might be easier for our kids - let's hope so

Dec

btw - last night I read that your mother is ill and you are wondering if you should go and see her - I am not sure where to find that but okay - from here - I know things can be rough there so please think of your own health first and then consider your decision.

I am behind your choice - I know this is a real toughie