Life can be a Pain

Dec. Shaz51, thanks for sharing how it's been losing your parents. It concerns me if I'll cope as I will have to face this one soon myself, different but same. Dec. though hard - its surely not as hard as burying our child????? I had a major breakdown after my girl died 2011, an don't trust myself now, the things I did, i'm scared to attend another funeral, or face another goodbye for that matter. Honestly frifhtens me. Did you see what Adge wrote tonight on the grief thread? From his research consultation. Its been so good to have the forums for this hard stuff. Thanks guys. 🌷
Hi there outlander 💐

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@outlander wrote:

@Owlunar yes its very hard and its invisible but most of the time its obvious through what and how you write it. you write with such thought and passion its easy to follow along with what you say. and this is hard- very hard and that i wont understand. i dont have kids nor have i lost a child so how could i. but im here for you and supporting you.

i know you understand- youve been through the wringer yourself but please make sure you take care of you first

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Hi @outlander

Yes - I am putting myself first - it's easier when I live alone - I don't have to worry about other people - I have been reading what people have written mostly - but not always feeling up to posting.

This is a hard week and the weather has turned really sour and I am glad I didn't go away - it would not have been fun at all by the sea in such wanton weather

You certainly have not lost a child but you have had a lot of loss in your life already and you care - it shows in your writing - you are not-at-all a self-absorbed person - but a very giving and kind one.

I will encourage you to take care of yourself though - and I do with you the best - and I am very glad you are getting your hair done -

My pony tail was long - really long - now and again I would cut it myself - but this was not good and I have been getting it cut short for the last few years and it is easier to look after and I look more cared for as well

All the best today - I am thinking of you

Dec

Hi @Former-Member

I think we expect to lose our parents - that they shall leave before us is normal - but then - if someone is young or really close to their parent this might be different - my parents were in their 90s when they died and I had plenty of warning

But when any young person dies it is quite different - it is not normal for our children to died first and they take a big part of our future with them - and the back-wash is terrible - I can understand why you had a break-down afterwards - esp the way your daughter died

There is no need to fear future funerals - but I understand how you do. I never like them - who would - I will never get used to having people die - I don't think we are meant too - part of the business of funerals it to honour and remember and enjoy the memories of the people who have died

But it takes time to get used to it - if we ever do

How does honest fright you Lapses? I prefer the truth no matter how rough - at least I know what is happening

My mother told me that when she was pregnant with me she was afraid but never asked anyone about anything - and when I was born was in a hurry to find an enclopedia - I need to know. I have always needed to know

But I get it - I understand - life can be really scary at times - esp when we have had a history of getting bad news suddenly

Dec

Appreciate you guys, 💜🌷🌿

@Owlunar

im really glad to know your taking care of yourself. thats super important.

i know times are tough right now but your tougher and will get through them

so will @Former-Member

Thanks precious @outlander, I think you're an EMPATH, stay strong little sister 💜💞💜

Good Morning @Owlunar

Good morning Niqua - it's a lovely day here in Melbourne - cold though - of course - it's the middle of winter - what else - he he

And how are you today

Hi Outlander - yes tough is the word - I believe you had a hard night with all sorts of anxiety - believe it or not I have had nights like that - a long long time ago - and I know how hard it is to endure

But being tough - or learning to be - that's the way we endure - I thought the life I was living could never change - but it did - I look back and can hardly believe I was the same person as I was then

I have been thinking a lot about that time - when my son was alive - and the sky was in constant danger of falling. How did I endure that? I was sky high anxious all the time and relaxants never seemed to help. Those tablets help with my back pain a lot but they never have worked for anxiety.

So after doing so much thinking on the subject lately I will be doing some writing about a lot of things soon - a short time spent quietly getting through the short winter days have borne fruit - it will very likely be interesting - I just have to think about it some more

Yeah - I get how it is at home - and how are you this morning

Dec

@Former-Member@outlander