Life can be a Pain

Ha ha @Owlunar I am a low voice ... tho some singing teachers did try to push me sky high. I only began to sing in 30s. Even then I did what I was told more than enjoyed my singing, so big decision a year ago was for me to ENJOY MY MUSIC MAKING. Beholden ... not to earning money or parents, students, concert, exam boards, just me. It has been enlivening. Also gentle and good for deep subtle emotions as well as bigger ones. Was scared silent by all the bustling sopranos in my family.

Yes know what you mean about the touch of plastic ... I have ivory on one piano, but they keep peeling off and I will get the tuner to reglue them. Now I also feel for the elephants ... so most things are a mixed bag ... I did not have a high level training as a child ... we were too poor but it was cultural and we had a piano before a fridge.

I have discovered Tallis recently

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HI5Y9l2NHIo

We are doing it with low consort recorders.

Hugs @Zoe7 thinking of both you and @Faith-and-Hope and you dads.

Hello @Owlunar that is gorgeous your poem. Very perceptive.

Hi @Appleblossom @Decadian @tonys @Faith-and-Hope

It is a very powerful poem @Owlunar and song lyrics. Thank you so much for sharing it …. 🤍🌹

@Owlunar @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you for sharing your poem mumma bear @Owlunar

❤️❤️❤️

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope @EternalFlower @Appleblossom @Oaktree @TAB

@MDT @Eve7 @outlander @tonys

I have not felt up to writing much lately - the cold weather gets into my arthritis and it's more than that - it's this time of year again - my son's anniversary is on Sunday - 37 years - it's not getting harder as the years pass - but it's still the time when most of my thoughts get around to thinking about him and the tragedy of his life and death.

It still hurts - and I expect and accept that it will until I get around to leaving myself - and I'm not in a hurry - my life is too interesting.

The events of a few months back were mind-shattering - I have done a lot about that - the interesting thing is that I have been speaking to a psychologist about the circumstances around my son - so much of it - there are some things I can be quite open about and other things I don't mention at all - some of these I have talked about with the psychologist - maybe that's why I haven't felt up to posting much.

I can manage it - all of it - it's not as if it just happened - still - there are times when I feel so much for our First Nations Peoples - and that he was one of them - and through pure happenstance he was the child I adopted - and the child I chose to love. I watched and read Dances with Wolves several time - then this week there were two episodes of Dr. Quinn - Medicine Woman dealing with the massacre of the Cheyenne at Washita - perchance. And I feel for it deeply - and I have done the little I could in the past and I am past it now - except by continuing to research all of this.

And still I know this happened and will continue to happen and it happened when the Romans overwhelmed Britain - it's not a new thing at all. This is the way of the world.

So - I am introspective - a lot has happened during the last few months and in many ways I am better off than I was before all this occurred.

I will endure - we - I can endure the tough parts of life, emotions, understanding certainly - that no one ever promised me a rose garden. But I do have a garden - within me - of precious tiny plants - unique to me - and I tend that. My son is there and all of this is precious.

It draws forth courage and love

It's sometimes hard to write though

Mumma Bear

Owlunar

Nice to hear from you @Owlunar thanks for the tag. Its good to hear someone who has a passion for life and learning

Ahhh Mama Bear @Owlunar

Good to hear from you when you are ready and able to write.

I am glad you wrote "my life is too interesting." and that you are not in hurry to leave.

Your matter of factness about life and death without being hyped or too sentimental really gives me hope and I enjoy our connection. Anniversaries are multifaceted ... I had one yesterday ... another one next month then the next month. Not much in October ... Phew! So I enjoy the spring but often it is wet???

Yes we have the Big Discussion about Indigenous rights in the media. Yes Human beings have migrated and dominatedand the rest, since the dawn of time ... I wont get too polemical.

This week I went to opshop to buy a blanket for a blanket appeal ... and saw a weighted one. It was the most expensive (I went to opshop cos better quality than cheaper dept stores) Am trying it out til our blanket partee at church. It is good to crawl under the weight. An OT suggested I get one, but it seemed to fancy and new faddish for me at the time. Now they have made it to the opshop ... it might be time for me to have one ... lol ... we'll see. I can get something else for the partee.

Crossed the road and there was a homeless man outside Aldi. On sale inside were thermals, so I asked him if he would like some ... and bought a pair for him and a pair for me. My so n overheats so does not need any! Also bought and shared an icecream ...

Social Injustice is a huge issue. We do what we can.

I love how you describe the garden within @Owlunar It is something special that is yours and you can draw on even in the hardest of times. Much love to you Mumma Bear ❤️❤️❤️

I am sending lots of love to you @Owlunar . The deep pain of losing a child never goes away. You’re right it doesn’t get worse but the empty space in our hearts stays there for the rest of our lives.

Be kind to yourself this weekend hon.

🩵💙🩵💙🩵💙🩵