Life can be a Pain

HI @Zoe7 @BlueBay @Emelia8 @Anastasia @oceangirl @Shaz51 @Appleblossom

I am feeling better today - my cousin in Hobart posted a death notice for my aunt - he must be under a lot of strain right now - so I was able to post my own notice in a newspaper and on-line - I won't be able to see the one in the newspaper but I will be able to keep the on-line notice forever.

The funeral is tomorrow - and it will be live-streamed and I have the link - it is a Requiem Mass and not taking part will be strange - even though the COVID rules have changed things in the Anglican church of course

My daughter has rung me a couple of times and we have had good chats - yesterday lasted a long time and we discussed many things

It would be totally impractical for me to travel right now - today is a Public Holiday and people will be travelling en masse - people will be returning from holidays to get their kids back to school and I like to travel in business class because of my arthritis - it's necessary to book a few weeks ahead for that usually - also COVID cases increased dramatically in Melbourne yesterday. I couldn't organise myself so quickly anyway - and it's hot in Melbourne today

Thanks for your many messages and supports

Dec

Hi @Zoe7

I am sorry you have had so much loss over the last 2 years - and it is very hard to be forgotten and left out - so excluding - I do understand your feelings about that as I have been left out of things in my extended family too - and it is heart-breaking at times

I have not been in touch with my sister and I don't know if my daughter has told her about our aunt. I think about my sister from time to time and know the relationship has become too toxic to risk contact. My brother is not a nice person either - so that's life - we can't choose our family but we can choose whether or not we speak to them but yeah - I do understand what you are saying

Stay strong Zoe - I had those feelings you mentioned after my son died - a long time ago now - I could not hurt my family further either but I do know that it's a hard choice - and I do respect you for yours

Dec

I knew you would understand @Owlunar 💖 We just have to keep going hey Hon - not always easy but we do it. We find that strength within ourselves and feed off it from others - like yourself and others here - and every little bit, every friendship/contact/support we have helps.

I do understand you not wanting to travel at present but that does make it harder for you to grieve. I am however glad that you have had some good conversations with your daughter - maybe something good has come from the death of your aunt - so in death she has given you something special ...that connection back with your own daughter 😁 Sitting with you at this difficult time with virtual arms around you and a lot of love shared 💖💖💖

sending lots of love and hugs @Owlunar thinking of you xxxooo

Thanks everyone

I can't seem to write anything this morning and we are having a thunderstorm so probably it's better to get off-line

The funeral is this afternoon and will be live-streamed and I have the link - I have been on messenger with my cousin in Canada who can't be at the funeral either -

It's just a time for me to be by myself thankful for those who do care and love me - I have set up a small shrine for my aunt - last night there were some rose-buds on my bushes but the heavy rain might have destroyed them - still - I have a new candle with is delightful

Back later

Dec

Big squishy hugs and all my love for today @Owlunar 💖

Thanks @Zoe7

Yes - my aunt did give me a wonderful gift in her death - since our very polite disagreement when I got out of hospital I had pulled back from my daughter - she is not a person who wants to listen to feelings - she is a practical person who wants to fix things - which is fine - I don't want to change her.

For weeks I kept my knowledge of how ill and close to death my aunt was - though she did know I was having emails with my cousin - I didn't say about what.

One thing I have found about getting older after a tough life is how resilient I am. I don't like it when my shoulder pain keeps me awake at night and I find myself thinking about what I have had on my mind but I can endure it

You have been so supportive it has helped tremendously

Dec

Sending you lots of tender hugs my mum @Owlunar for today 🌺🌻🌼⚘🌹💐💐❤❤❤❤

I imagine the service is over now @Owlunar and you are feeling your grief - hold onto those wonderful memories of your Aunt, honour her the way you need and feel the love you had for her. Hugs and hugs dear Dec - very much thinking of you this afternoon 💖💖💖