Life can be a Pain

Coming here now because I have been thinking of you this afternoon

Sending you love snd hugs @Owlunar

xxxooo ♥️

Thanks @BlueBay and @Zoe7

I am feeling a bit raw this morning - it was really hard not being at my aunt's funeral - great indeed that I could watch it Live-Streamed but I did not feel part of it and I was close to my aunt - so I hurt a bit - more than a bit - I will survive it

One of my cousins who lives in a northern state brought his mother to the funeral - this is a strange feeling - I go everywhere alone - and I have for a long time - at other funerals people have come in families but I have gone alone. I am used to it I suppose. I travel alone when I can and people are often surprised that I do this - but if I waited for someone to take me anywhere I would go nowhere. I so take myself and this is one reliable person - it is a good thing I enjoy my own company. It bites a bit today - it's part of many grief-experiences I think

I did make a shrine for my aunt - I saved the rosebuds - I took a photo but my phone wouldn't crop it yesterday - I will try again. It has a candle as well and some jewelry my aunt gave me and a couple of things that are important to me - including an owl

We had thunderstorms yesterday morning and a really big one last night - but I had a better sleep - that was really good

Dec

@Shaz51 @Codex1 @Emelia8 @BlueBay @Former-Member

Take your time @Owlunar to grieve. It’s beautiful that you have a little shrine set up in memory of your Aunt.
it’s been really hot and humid. Last nights rain made it even hotter.
today’s another humid day.
take care my friend

I care about you

hugs xxxooo

@Owlunar 💔🦉😢

Big hugs for your @Owlunar. I think it's beautiful that you're able to honour your loved ones in a way that is meaningful for you, especially given that you weren't able to attend the service in person.

So glad to hear that you got some sleep last night 😊Do you have something nice planned for yourself today?

You are doing what you need to get through and remember your loving Aunt @Owlunar 💖 Keep your memorial for as long as you need - a day, a week, forever ...you will know when the time is right.

I finally opened the door to Cat's room just last week - have had some of her things in there and kept closed since she died - other things I still have where they have always been - cannot bring myself to move them or put them away. I still feed Clover in the bedroom because I cannot replace Cat's bowl spot with hers - it is what it is and I am doing what I need - just as you are Hon 💖

Sending you some extra love today - it is hard but you will be okay ...takes time though 💖

Hi everyone

I would like to write something useful but I am still hurting from my aunt dying and not being able to attend her funeral - I am okay but just feel it at times

I have managed to find out where my uncle is staying and I can send his some cards until I can actually visit him when the situation is better - this is a relief as I have had trouble getting my cousin to respond to my questions - I don't blame him - he must have been under a lot of pressure. I emailed the Rev Father who conducted my aunt's service had had a lovely email in return - and my uncle enjoys visitors though he doesn't know who they are

I asked for prayers for my aunt at my church yesterday and my friend left flowers outside my front door and rang me - we talked on the phone for a while - this was a relief

Nothing I really do eases the pain of my fractured family - I know the reasons - I have had nothing to do with all of this - the trouble began before I was born - I did stand up to my mother which did not enhance a loving relationship - I started this when I was a child and can hardly be blame for resisting a controlling mother - in fact I highly commend myself. The ongoing repercussions of my mother's nature have nothing to do with me but it does hurt me that so many people have been hurt by her and really - I know some bits and pieces but very little of what really went on.

I am not sorry I haven't seen my siblings or heard from them - I was close to my relations in Tassie and at least I can write to my uncle now - I did write to my aunt and I have no idea if she received my letter but at least I wrote it - and that's important. I have been emailing with my cousin in Canada

Thanks for your support everyone - I tend to withdraw from things when I feel unsettled though I am getting on with my life. My shoulder has been aggravated by my anxiety before my aunt died and my grief since - and of course - the stormy weather didn't help either

I haven't tagged - I need to take a break with a wheat pack and a good book - I got three books delivered on Friday - more quickly than I expected - so that was something helpful

Dec

@Owlunar 💖💖💖

@Owlunar

Thinking of you my friend @Owlunar

Take care

hugs snd love your way xxxooo