Once again - this post has been written for Lapses and contains religious material. Anyone can read it but if it could cause you problems - it's better that you don't
Hi @Former-Member
You have given me a lot to think about here - I have to concentrate while I write which means I will probably leave the computer from time to time as I write to give myself a chance to work on it
It seems to me that you have left the Pentacostal Church but you are in a state of transistion as you move toward a more mainstream church - and this is natural - you are still carrying the teachings of one body of doctrine and not all their teaching is wrong - so it takes time and thought as you work through all of this
The difference lies between the OT world of creation, exodus from slavery, building of the Jewish state, the judges and the prophets to the NT - the birth of Christ and the coming of the Messiah as foretold. It didn't work out quite as the prophets thought it would and outside of Bible teaching and from the historical point of view there was a lot of dissension in the world when Jesus was born - and this is when the Romans rules so much of the world - it was when the time was ripe and one reason Christianity was able to spread so far was that God has picked his time - the Roman roads made the way easier for the Word to spread.
The God of the OT and the God of the NT is the same God - but Christ died so the punishment for our sins is washed away by the crucifixion - all we need to do is to confess and repent - and this is hard because it takes a lot of practise to believe our "sins" can be taken away from us so easily - yet I have found it is harder than that because we are punished by our parents when we do wrong - and they can remind us of our faults for years to come -
But this isn't the case with God - our sins are forgiven forever - and we can be so sorry for what we have done wrong that we can curse ourselves for our mistakes - but that does not come from God - it comes from our own fallen state - and yes - I have done some wrong things in my life - but I believe that whenever I feel those memories return I can confess and repent again - it is not held against me
So you ask - is all sin equal before God - yes - I think it is and can find scripture to explain this - but also - God forgives all sin freely - and you ask - if this is true why has death come to your house and my house.
This is so easy to answer - and again I know there is scripture to base my answer but it would be harder to find. But truly - the answer is right before us - no one gets out of this life alive in the body. Everyone dies - and I could not convince my poor mother that there was nothing to fear. It is a natural process - the old and sick and frail of all species fall to make room for more life. Every one dies - death comes to every house. There are those who would tempt fate by saying to the grieving that they need to get over it - but no one can get around it. Our children did not die because of our sin or their sin or the sin of the fathers - they died because that's natural - and I don't know why you daughter died - my son chose to end his life - he had free-will just like everyone else but why was he so unhappy? That's a long story actually - and I have already written a lot of that story - but yes - God allowed it
You did an unwise thing by consulting a psychic - but not a wrong thing - I don't know about opening a portal - a door for evil. I believe it is possible. A psychic is a person who has inner vision and some are better than others - some are sensible enough to keep it to themselves - others use it for various reasons - but I don't think evil entered through that door to take your daughter - I think that it gave you the guilt you experience - or it seems that you experience.
Consequences - um yes - everyone got sick and your girl died - but you did not cause that - what has happened is that you have blamed yourself - and please don't - the price you are paying is guilt that you did that - and yes - it does warn us in the NT not to go there - but that's a warning because anyone can be led astray
The process of cross-carrying - oh my - how people mistake that expression. Someone with health problems, family problems, financial problems - whatever problem one can invent - will sign and moan and say "Well - it's my cross and I must carry it" - I get steamed up to know that people think that the natural processes of life involve the cross - this isn't the case at all
Cross-carrying involves a choice. Christ did not want to carry his cross - he was a young man who did not want to die - but chose to do his father's will. So it is with us - we can choose to do what we do - many people try and walk away from their problems - but to turn and make a choice to carry on with our problems and be active in dealing with them is the harder way - the way we would rather not go. It's a choice
Time and time again I made the choice to stick with my unhappy adopted child - who could not understand why his birth-mother had "thrown him away" and why should he? - he could not accept that I loved him. Time and time again I chose to continue to do whatever I could for this child - and he died anyway - and I had been choosing to carry that cross and after he died it was hard - just as hard as it is for everyone else who has a child die - but my cross was taken away from me - and to this day I must admit relief - I know the difference.
We need structure when studying the Bible - but we can do that under a tree - I did a course in Preliminary Theology when my kids were young and I could study by correspondence - I have studied something all my life.
And our children are safe with God - and he knew all along what would happen - he knows us. He knew what mankind would do before he made the world and prepared for that and God knows to what it is like to have his Son die - even though he returned to life and lived with us for a few weeks longer - God had to have faith too - because that had never been done before
But God is not at all angry because we question, because we sometimes lack faith, because we make mistakes - and he is a God of love and mercy - and is amazingly wonderful when we turn him repenting of what we have done wrong
I don't know what sin is - but when my children we young and I was a young mother with too much on my plate - I thought this - I really don't mind what my children are doing unless they are hurting each other or someone else. To this day I think God considers each person differently but it comes down to the same thing - we love God and our neighbour and we don't go around hurting each other or the creation
My best thoughs - I think I am a wise old owl - a hard life has taught me a great deal - and if I can relieve one person's sorrow because I have the faith to question and learn the way, the truth and the life to share - my life's difficulties have been worth it
Lots of hugs
Dec
