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Life can be a Pain

DecadianSenior Contributor07 Feb 2017, 1:19 pm AEDT

Life can be a Pain

Hi @BlueBay@Zoe7@Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope@utopia@oceangirl@TAB@Shaz51@PeppiPatty

I know there are more people I could tag but maybe I will think them up as I go along - actually I already have

I think I need my own thread - mostly my problem is chronic pain syndrome - I damaged my spine with the sporting excesses of my youth - a long time ago now - and I managed to rearrange it when I fell of my pushbike in a wind storm nearly 22 years ago and that seems a long time ago now but there is nothing they can do except treat the pain - and I do have Section 8 medication and I see a pain specialist

And the pain has been worse lately and wears me down and I get fed up and very tired -

I have issues with my mother as well - and although she died 2 years ago I still have bad times now and again - she was abusive and as well as I know myself and her this can get to me at times - and this is another reason I opened my own thread

Then there is TS - my Toxic Sister - she was under my skin for a while but not at the moment

So yesterday I felt so bad when I went to see the doctor about my back pain - and my pain specialist has cut my medication back several times over the last few years and she has gone too far - and I started to tell my doctor - yes - I cope with the pain better since my mother died - but it's driving me crackers atm and so are the memories of my mother

So that's it for now - I have had trouble opening this thread for some reason but now I have - I will run my own story - I would like to think I don't need to but yes - I do

You are all such wonderful supportive people - you are my soft place to land - that is so true

And anyone I have missed I will tag as I go along

Lots of hugs everyone

Dec

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In response to: Life can be a Pain

outlanderSenior Contributor28 May 2017, 3:02 pm AEST

Re: Life can be a Pain

how are you @Owlunar

you ahvent been on here for a day or so.. are you ok my friend?

In response to: Life can be a Pain

Shaz51Senior Contributor28 May 2017, 3:04 pm AEST

Re: Life can be a Pain

hello @Owlunar how are you today xx

In response to: Life can be a Pain

OwlunarSenior Contributor29 May 2017, 2:00 pm AEST

Re: Life can be a Pain

Hi @Shaz51@outlander@Former-Member@Former-Member@BlueBay@utopia@Zoe7 - and everyone else

I have been into the forums and read what other people have been going through over the weekend - and yes - I get it and I understand - but I can't write anything useful right now -

I have my own stuff - it's overwhelming - I can't deal with anything more than what I have on my own plate right now - and I think that this is okay - I would not expect anyone else who is having a bad time to put themselves into a worse place because of me and my stuff

I am safe - this is one thing about living longer is good about - the things that bothered me in the past and are still there today are no longer threatening - and I wish I could be useful - but I can't

So my thoughts are with you and I will be back when I feel better - it is always hard at this time of year

Dec

In response to: Re: Life can be a Pain

Shaz51Senior Contributor29 May 2017, 2:29 pm AEST

Re: Life can be a Pain

I am here when you want to talk @Owlunar

In response to: Life can be a Pain

Unknown userMember29 May 2017, 3:05 pm AEST

Re: Life can be a Pain

Oh @Owlunar, I hear ya, and you take all the time you need. Sometimes the forums get too heavy for me too andvi try stick to the lighter threads. Just because we can't find a pearl of wisdom for others doesn't mean were less of a person and need to withdraw, do lean on us a little too. I know this is hard for you because you've had to fend for yourself all your life, but don't forget to reach out here and in the real world. I tagged you earlier in my SAD thread but its OK if you're tired. I'm flat today too, just want to sleep. Read a bible verse in Deuteronomy that's caused a little spiritual protest with God, the aweful things he unleashed in the Jews to bring them into obedience, so harsh, andvi struggle fitting that in with the new covenant... Now I have to repent wanting to challenge God lol - do you ever get like that? Oh dear, talk about an ant taking on an elephant, silly me. Sometimes watching comedies and having a belly laugh - gives me a lift. If you want to try that - I can recommend a few, depending on your humour. Give puddytat a cuddle from me today (I can't, very allergic but admire cats) and be kind to yourself, chin up and stay warm xox

In response to: Re: Life can be a Pain

BlueBaySenior Contributor29 May 2017, 4:10 pm AEST

Re: Life can be a Pain

Hi @Owlunar

Here for you anytime

BB xxxooo

In response to: Re: Life can be a Pain

outlanderSenior Contributor29 May 2017, 9:50 pm AEST

Re: Life can be a Pain

hugs @Owlunar thinking of you and here for you when you need

In response to: Re: Life can be a Pain

OwlunarSenior Contributor30 May 2017, 12:22 am AEST

Re: Life can be a Pain

Hi @Former-Member

Ah yes - I do confront God from time to time knowing full well he can take it - and yes - I know the writer/s of Deuteronomy said that God was into retribution but I believe that this was the interpretation of the Pre-Christian doctrine - God does not punish us for that - he is an omnipotent but benevolent father and as a parent myself - I listened to a lot of juvenile rage in my time

I was planning to go out for new clothes on Saturday but the weather here became so gloomy that I gave up on the idea and yesterday I was down in the dumps in a major way - I didn't cry or lose the plot - just found my memories too hard and it is really hard to say what ever it was that I was thinking about - but the day passed without incident or company except for Snugly - and how happy was she that I was reading in bed for such a long time - lucky cat -

She feels more fluffy because she has grown her winter coat and put on a bit of much needed weight and had her claws clipped - she is such a great little friend

So I woke up this morning feeling more of the same - where does all that misery come from? It's not even dramatic in any way - it doesn drag me down but as long as I don't push myself I am okay - this way I don't drop my dinner or break any plates by accident -

But I did go out and by some new shirts and a jumper - I can walk to a Rivers Store from here - I would rather go shopping on my own - although I could get my agency to get someone to take me - I get annoyed when I have my own ideas on fabric, colour, patterns, whatever - and other people start picking things out - the last time I went with someone it was not fun at all - I felt badly telling the person I didn't like those colours or that fabric and just wish people would take the hint and stop - but today I was alone and two shirts were costly but the fabric is really smooth and cotton - and I like the patterns and the colours are subdued - and being on my own in the shop not having any distraction was a pick-me-up and I really love what I have bought

Perhaps it was the retail-therapy - but I feel so much better tonight - let's hope this lasts

Dec

In response to: Re: Life can be a Pain

OwlunarSenior Contributor30 May 2017, 12:53 am AEST

Re: Life can be a Pain

Thanks @BlueBay@outlander@Shaz51

I know you girls would have liked to have helped if you could have - but honestly - all of you are in a worse place than I am - I can still in the probverbial rain for as long as it takes - I do have the history of coming unstuck in a dramatic way so I am able to tell all of you that "this too shall pass" - the dark times will be less and easier to focus on when our birthdays have higher numbers

But then - although the morning was hard - going shopping made things feel better - retail therapy - ah yes - I know we hate the fitting rooms - but having new tops is great - and I really need more clothes - I don't have a lot - I don't need a lot - but I am planning my next holiday in July

I hope all of you are doing better than you were - and Shaz - I think it was your husband who was having a burn-out - I never did find the post that described what was happening - only that you were having a bad time

Thinking of all of you - and know that you will find life easier in the future - and it is my grace and my gift to tell you this - convince you if I can and lead you there if possible

Dec

In response to: Life can be a Pain

Unknown userMember30 May 2017, 1:23 am AEST

Re: Life can be a Pain

Ar yes 'retail therapy' works for me too especially if you found a food buy. Good on you for taking yourself out. I like Rivers shoes.

About the bible, the old and new covenant. Deuteronomy list of afflictions the Lord set upon Israel are happening in the world today, all of it. And itvhappened to them back there to correct their rebellion (punishment). So naturally I think "well, of bad things happen to me (as they have) its punishment. Yet others doing much worse don't get 'punished' People debate furiously 'god doesn't punish' but if he's 'the same yesterday today & forever' & did it back then, to his chosen people, he can do it today. If he's truly in control - why do even people of great faith have terrible thongs happen while scoffers standby in their comfort? I don't know, o want to believe in the 'fairy dloss' sweet puffy version of Christianity' the gospel, and know I'm far from perfect, but its not logical or fair. I don't do all the wreckless things of criminals or evildoers, but he still took my girl. Maybe I deserved it, but did she? The study this week is eally bothering me. Nice to have someone learned in scripture, like you, to bounce it off - thank you Dec.
Glad you're feeling better 🙂

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