Life can be a Pain

Dont put off your visit to cradle mountain yet @Owlunar xxx

Darwin is great in May , no thunderstorms and not too hot xx

we need rain everywhere and praying lots

my aches and pains are sooo anoying @Owlunar , I feel for you and my specialists and encologist say it is going to get worse in years to come

sending you lots of hugs xxxx

sometime I wonder what i can do now for the futhurexxx

Hi @Shaz51

I'm sorry you have aches and pains that are not treatable with suitable medication because you have so many different health issues - this must make it all so much harder for you to deal with and tiring - it must be exhausting

I remember reading somewhere over the break when I found that Mr Shaz isn't at all interested in having help from Centrelink - I am sure you would qualify for the DSP and this would relieve you of having to work when you have so much to cope with - Mr Shaz and his health issues and your mother who needs so much help and support - and she seems so tired - and I agree with her wanting to stay at home and your need to help her

It's a lot of work - would Mr Shaz allow you to be on the DSP?

As your second Mum I am really concerned for you - I know you put yourself last too - which must be really hard for you - we all need to put ourselves first and be our own best friend sometimes

I am glad you were able to get away for a few days - I hope this refreshes you and I wish you the best for the New Year

By now I am pretty sure I will keep out of the bush for my holidays this year - I have been to Cradle Mountain before and driven through a lot of Tasmania and know how remote these areas are - I hope other people refrain from taking holidays in remote areas of dense bush for their own sake this year too - we need a lot of heavy rain for conditions to become safe - going north in the winter seems a better idea right now - Darwin in May seems pretty good to me -

I am hoping my grand-daughter can get down to Melbourne this month - for her birthday - atm the fires seem to be okay where she is according to the reports on-line

It's the anniversary of my mother's passing this week and my father's next week - different years - I am feeling very flat and tired today - and with the smoke and anniversaries I think this is normal -

And I am sleeping feel and my dreams feel pleasant though I can't remember them - so I am pretty sure I am okay - over time I have gathered strength and resilience - great atributes to have - I wish everyone could learn these

Dec

@Shaz51 @Maggie @Former-Member @BlueBay @Gazza75

@Owlunar Two anniversaries for you next week. No wonder you feel flat. There’s not much to say, other than, it will pass, I know you know that. In the meantime, take care of yourself as best you can. 💜💜💜

@Shaz51 You have so much to juggle along with your own pain. Slowing down might be helpful. Take care. 💜💜💜

Thanks @Maggie

Yes - I know this time will pass and taking care of myself is exactly the best way to get through this time

Actually I know - Mum's anniversary this week will be harder than Dad's next week - I was on good terms with my father - my mother and I did not get on - and it's much more complicated than it needs to be

The smoke is getting to me - to look after myself I am staying inside - it's been raining here off and on all day but still the smoke lingers

This week though things do start to get back to normal - my helpers come back to work this week - this place needs vacuuming and this is something I don't do myself because of asthma - it could be worse - I have been attending to some chores myself and I am about to cook dinner - chicken kiev and steamed vegies tonight

Dec

Two anniversaries for you next week. my second mum @Owlunar , sending you tender hugs

yes it was nice to get away for a week , it was really nice to just look around , drive around and take photos

mr shaz enjoyed it soo much that he wants to retire as you know @Owlunar , @Maggie , @Former-Member , @Appleblossom

I think our problems is mr shaz continueing changing his mind , daily which is hard for me to pick the best decision and to try to stick to it and carry it out

and also with my mum

But you are loyal to your mum and Mr Shz and keep trying.

Hi @Owlunar

I have 2 close anniversaries. mother on Christmas Day and sister next week.

Losing your Mum on Christmas Day @Appleblossom must have been extra hard - I can't imagine that - it's bad enough on ordinary days but on what is supposed to be the major holiday and the day that is promoted as family time and add in the extra HO HO HO etc must be a challenge hard to face each year

I remember the first Christmas after my son died - I went to the shops for something and could not imagine how the rest of the world could go on the way it did with such a major loss in my life - I could hardly bear it - on Christmas Eve I went to buy some presents for my husband and daughter but couldn't even go in the shops -

I really have no idea what it is like for you every Christmas Day and then your sister's anniversary right behind it - next week - I remember writing to you about this - when was it? a few weeks ago - months even - or last Christmas - but I care even if I can't remember when I wrote - I am sorry - it must be so hard for you

One of my cleaning ladies was here - she does a great job cleaning but she doesn't seem to care about the sad things in life - I guess that's how she copes - it seems shallow to me - she watches what she calls crappy TV because it keeps her mind away from sad things

Yet to me - sad things are part of life - I am not afraid of them and I am here to recognize the sad things in other people's lives - I can hear yours Apple

I would rather care - go through my own hard times with courage and accept they have happened - and go on - pushing sad things away would be too hard for me

I am with you Apple

Dec

Thank you @Owlunar

I deeply appreciate your post.

I developed a way of coping with my sister's anniversary by planning an positive January, and I had to as my children were on holidays and deserved that. My sister died early in the year I began parenting, so it has always been a part of my mothering life.

Mother died since I joined the forum so that is more recent and raw. The forum has been crucial to me feeling heard and having a way to relate in the world of today to living beings, even if mediated by the internet. I could get in the way of wanting to be with my family on the other side, and that was not wise for my children's sake.

Yes you have written to me before about it one christmas. Thank you again.

@Appleblossom ❤️❤️❤️

@Owlunar ❤️❤️❤️

Hi @Maggie @Appleblossom @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Zoe7 @BlueBay

Whew - the last few days have been tough - not really bad - but I felt really drained

Tomorrow is Dad's anniversary - Mum's was last week - I saw the Pain Specialist today - and I have had hayfever - but I am okay

I have been feeling flat and tired for days but okay tonight - I can accept what's happened in the past - and seeing the pain specialist today was really encouraging - he gave me some local anaesthetic injections into my knee and they have worked really well - let's hope it last - and we have a programme of more injections to work out for my shoulder and my spine and this feels really great -

So apart from feeling really tired tonight and feeling like reading for a while I am feeling better than I have for days - the few convos I read look really interesting and I hope to get to them soon - right now - it's been a pretty wearing time - one thing about my parents' anniversaries being so close means it's all over in a few days

About being Australian Apple - I am first generation on my father's side and grew up with a variety of different British linguistic twists - and my mother's mother being of Irish descent with an NZ accent - wow - I had no idea why my teachers kept commenting on the way I pronounced some words - I didn't understand that until I went to university and did Linguistics 101 - I learned a lot that year

But we Aussies are from all over - it's a melting pot - I don't mind actually - I guess having some Anglo-Celtic influences I fit into the early life quite well - except that I had such a weird accent myself - apparently

And to mini-swale your garden - it has to be bigger than my garden - of course - I live in the sand-belt on this side of the bay - ants and all - the water disappears as soon as the rain stops and I water my front garden with two bottles of water -

I had better do that - this is just checking in - I need to recover from the last few days tonight

Dec