Thanks for thinking and trying to help @Former-Member
Hey @Owlunar Sorry about that headache and all the other health issues.
Unfortunately I can relate to the headache. BIG TIME.
That is a very astute comment about the forum and how its function has slightly morphed into being an archive and journal.
Hope the tv things goes alright. I have not watched tv since my son has not been here ... 5 weeks ... yeah ...too busy. I use tv as entertainment and cultural research and family bonding. I can take it or leave it. Its great sometimes tho.
I guess I preferred the ABC radio. As that was what I listened to when I was a young woman and single and had any control over my living arrangements. I did not own a tv and did not miss it. Since marriage at 26yrs my husband at 36 yrs, his style and offspring dominated all my access to the "air waves" analogue and digital. In the end I just relinquished control to the family as my health deterirorated. I did have a few issues re censorship and appropriate age level for all present. Frankly, I found popular radio quite offensive to the ear, brutish, bigoted and very distasteful. I was very upset that my son had to be exposed to idiotic commentaries at 3-5 years old etc because the oldest child in the sibling group wanted to listen to cool rubbish and we all had to kowtow to her demands. It is a common issue in most families with an diverse age range of children. I may have mentioned it once or twice but I certainly was FAR TOO PHYSICALLY ILL ie in extreme CHRONIC neck pain to make an issue of it. It was one of the many compromises I felt forced to make as my son's disabled parent. The older female child and the younger girl by 16 months had benefitted HIGHLY by my child-focussed highly enriched educational environment since the time of their births.
It has enabled them to be fairly high functioning in the fields of their choice and have their own real estate now etc etc. They are my 2 girls: one a foster child and one a biological child.
The foster child was 6 weeks when I was appointed fulltime 24/7 care custody and control by Protective Services which was later confirmed in a Supreme Court Case in 1986 and I gave her my complete devotion and researched what was best etc etc etc. I certainly did not start straight out from a mere uninformed opinion because it was the way my family or I did things. She really got the best deal from me as is common with first borns, but she was not MY first born. I did not just push my way or the highway. I engaged with the social workers in Adoptive Services every week bub and I went into town to learn what the best practise was. I still do appreciate when one social worker got out from behind her desk and sat on the floor with me and bub.Yeah and I researched baby massage and age appropriate toys and activities. etc etc
But she was also became a naughty spoiled little girl who had far too many indulgences and excuses made for her and my biological children's needs and experiences deemed 2nd rate by virture of their biological relationship to me. I thought the little 6 wk old bub was like me a little foster child, but I was to discover the concept of step relationships and the psychological abusive horrors that can entail. When the Roman Catholic marriage tribunal annulled my marriage. They made mention of that little child as a violent child. Yes she was a violent child but oh so CUTE, pretty and her mummymade sure she had lots of PRETTY dresses. I was blamed for her biting up to 20 times a day ... giggle giggle ... giggle giggle ... as apparently it meant I was not giving her enough attention but being an evil step mother and how dare I pay any attention to a new born baby from my own womb with her own legitimate right to food and nurture. How dare I allow myself to fall asleep at night and allow myself to be ra-ped by a husband and allow another baby grow inside of me. I was accused once of not being able to face a termination! What a world.
Of course with so many social workers and VERY EXPENSIVE LAWYERS all concerned with one child but not with the following 2 tiny fragile human beings. it was a very lobsided situation for me and my girl and boy. My neck started to go after 6 months with the first one. Was I overcompensating for her psychotic mother full of injectibles depot meds and illicit concoctions? Was I too diligent, was it a genetic defect like Sz etc etc Was it due to the strain of the deaths starting to pile up? not sure but by time my son was born. The level of disc on nerve pain was extreme. I barely got through that 2nd pregnancy etc etc ..cos by the force of a big bub (GOD BLESS HIS SOUL) the sciatica scenario entered my spinal world, but thats motherhood isn't it? My head and neck pain is much better now decades later .... wink wink @Owlunar Sciatica not returned since giving birth. We are both older ladies.
My exhusband likes to talk about my oldest child's biological mother relating her to the behaviour of the cuckoo bird who drops her eggs in the nests of random other birds so that they can keep them warm and after they are hatched, the birds are often bigger than the species of the mother bird's chicks and sometimes even squash the legit birds to death. He likes the boiling frog story to describe me. Ha ha ... the psychological abuse of me happened so slowly and subtly that I was destroyed before I could sense the danger and JUMP out of the POT. He thinks he is very clever and I did look up to him as no-one around me had an education or did anything but say the rosary (mother) or swear and abuse each other ... neighbours ... dad was long dead. Welcome to the housing commission flats. Neither really appealed to me so I was drawn to the logic and intelligence of a scientific outlook. Mind you one can be scientific without being CRUEL and abuse one's wife's labour and good intentions. However I was not so lucky. YET also glad I had my own science .. pure & applied, physics, earth science etc. This world can be a bit seduced by science like I was as a young woman. Ethics still apply.
After 16 years I did Jump out of the pot.
This week my exhusband had the opportunity to act as a mature man in his 60s, but he was not able to rise to that challenge and globally described my character and personality as IRRESPONSIBLE. He has not got a clue and believe becasue he says it is true. Unfortunately my children are nfluenced. I was copying him in on legal matters and forgiving or overlooking our history for the good of my son who is in crisis. I had a polite lunch with him on son's last court date, but will make myself unavailable on the next. The father is all together too LAID BACK about his son's needs. Says the most outrageous idiotic things. Too excited by his daughter sex industry business ... or something ( online cover ... cooking business) ... My son's crisis escalated the next day partly due to the incompetence of an Emergency Department who ejected him without follow up on the 8th October. This part of the story is TOO familiar, Shockingly familiar. We read about it all the time on these forums. HHhhhmmmm.
Sorry @Owlunar and @Former-Member I am probably repeated ing myself.
Think I might go to an opera in town this weekend. I serendipiditiously bumped into an office worker for this organisation and this cultural art form. It was never my first choice but I can see the possibilities ... I will probably meet acquaintances there and it will be a good distraction from UPSET at my ex and the people invoilved in my son's case who seem to drag their feet and take longer than need to expedite appropriate actions LEGAL TEAM or simply fail to do it as in the Mental health team at the local ED.
I am not very snooty I do not usually plan either entertainment or recreation on a weekend. I never had money for entertainment as a child or as a wife. I arranged entertainment and a diverse range of cultural family and environmental activities for FAMILY.
I might sort out my internet and tv next week. Today my timing belt is being put on car. $1500. It needs it, but I will catch as much public transport as I can as I do try to be mindful and considerate of the community and feel safer atm if I limit driving.
Yet my mechanic this morning was lovely and gave me a courtesy car. A 15 yo car - clean and not too hard to drive.
PLEASE @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Owlunar PRAY FOR A GOOD OUTCOME FOR MY FAMILY AND I. This current situation does involve my daughter although in the surface it is just the actions of one boy over a period of less than a day. It involves my daughters as SHOCKINGLY both girls are DISGRACEFULLY absent for their little brother. Glad I never abandoned anyone. I was very careful and graduated the family separation according to best research I could find ... for their well being. When their turn comes they will need to reflect a little deeper than may be usual for them.
@utopiaI am not sure of your attitude to religion or prayer, but I know you have an adolescent boy and can relate to many of my issues.
Thank you forum for putting up with me in the last month.
I am repeating myself as clearly as I can partly for any watchers. My personal computer has been tampered with by ASIO for the good of the country and to prevent public harm. I have to face the fact that my posts may be under ASIO surveillance.I do hope that when all the cards are on the table ... that all the public good is recognised as well. It probably upped my anxiety and agitation and I am being careful and complying with all safety protocols as advised by my health care team.. Jeez I have not thought about ASIO since 1984-7 when I was an undergrad and listened to paranoid rants .. here and there all over the bloomin place .. but I tended to shrug them off at first as I had already been a dyed in the wool public servant, before I got to uni. Be a force for the good.
Anyone read THE FORCE by WInslow? Its on my list at the local library. Its about all the good & bad cops in a hard tough world.
@OwlunarDec you are a wise old experienced woman.
