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Life can be a Pain

DecadianSenior Contributor07 Feb 2017, 1:19 pm AEDT

Life can be a Pain

Hi @BlueBay@Zoe7@Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope@utopia@oceangirl@TAB@Shaz51@PeppiPatty

I know there are more people I could tag but maybe I will think them up as I go along - actually I already have

I think I need my own thread - mostly my problem is chronic pain syndrome - I damaged my spine with the sporting excesses of my youth - a long time ago now - and I managed to rearrange it when I fell of my pushbike in a wind storm nearly 22 years ago and that seems a long time ago now but there is nothing they can do except treat the pain - and I do have Section 8 medication and I see a pain specialist

And the pain has been worse lately and wears me down and I get fed up and very tired -

I have issues with my mother as well - and although she died 2 years ago I still have bad times now and again - she was abusive and as well as I know myself and her this can get to me at times - and this is another reason I opened my own thread

Then there is TS - my Toxic Sister - she was under my skin for a while but not at the moment

So yesterday I felt so bad when I went to see the doctor about my back pain - and my pain specialist has cut my medication back several times over the last few years and she has gone too far - and I started to tell my doctor - yes - I cope with the pain better since my mother died - but it's driving me crackers atm and so are the memories of my mother

So that's it for now - I have had trouble opening this thread for some reason but now I have - I will run my own story - I would like to think I don't need to but yes - I do

You are all such wonderful supportive people - you are my soft place to land - that is so true

And anyone I have missed I will tag as I go along

Lots of hugs everyone

Dec

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In response to: Life can be a Pain

utopiaSenior Contributor17 Nov 2017, 8:00 pm AEDT

Re: Life can be a Pain

It was a long post @Appleblossom. I wonder what's the longest post ever written on the Forum.

In response to: Life can be a Pain

utopiaSenior Contributor17 Nov 2017, 8:03 pm AEDT

Re: Life can be a Pain

@Former-Member - love the owl toy that represents @Owlunar

In response to: Life can be a Pain

Unknown userMember17 Nov 2017, 8:11 pm AEDT

Re: Life can be a Pain

Hi @Owlunar, its not my identity I'm worried about so much (though anything online is open to hackers, anything, and sane have our email address & IP address which is tracked, but that's for emergencies I guess & not on public view I believe). Anyway, what I'm saying is not feeling safe PSYCHOLOGICALLY, or emotionally get upset sometimes by the way a certain member here treats me. Silent treatment is emotional abuse. I know it shouldn't get to me but I'm vulnerable to rejection re BPD and regress sometimes when very tired, overwhelmed, sick or stressed... Makes it hard because I have been really open with you and this person sees all that. But its not your problem, I'll talk with @Former-Member about it cause I really do need some coping strategies, its hard to default to withdrawing (my usual faulty coping mechanism) when no matter where I go on the forum I am on public view. And there's times I feel trolled. So, there it is. Sometimes exposing things helps, sometimes not, but I'm certainly trying hard to not let it matter. Reminds me of issues that terminated Tawney.oh, speaking of owls - did you like my last pic?
Love you @Owlunar 💜

In response to: Re: Life can be a Pain

outlanderSenior Contributor17 Nov 2017, 8:24 pm AEDT

Re: Life can be a Pain

hearing you @Former-Member i have felt the same way before and having bpd i understand

@Owlunar @utopia @Appleblossom

In response to: Life can be a Pain

Unknown userMember17 Nov 2017, 8:36 pm AEDT

Re: Life can be a Pain

@utopia, nice of you to respond for a change but need to converse with a moderator first ta.
@outlander 💜 did you get my last message to you? You OK? Nice you understand. I'm so embarrassed to own my underlying BPD, its my thorn in the flesh 😞

In response to: Re: Life can be a Pain

outlanderSenior Contributor17 Nov 2017, 8:45 pm AEDT

Re: Life can be a Pain

um im not sure if i did see the last mg you sent to me @Former-Member sorry if i didnt, it wasnt intentional. it mightve been one of the days i was away and accidently missed the notification.

please dont be embarrassed about your mh issues, though i really do understand it can be very hard hey.

it seems we are extra sensitive to things, and when we feel like we are being ignored it leads to those feelings of abanondment and safety issues. feeling unwelcome even though its a place for everyone.

i get it

and thanks for asking, im getting a little better. the kidney infection is finally clearing up and the pneumonia is getting better too

In response to: Re: Life can be a Pain

Unknown userMember17 Nov 2017, 8:53 pm AEDT

Re: Life can be a Pain

Hi @Former-Member,

I'm a little concerned at about post saying that you are feeling as though you are being bullied in the forums. Would you feel comfortable writing an email to the forum email to let us know what is happening?

In response to: Life can be a Pain

Unknown userMember17 Nov 2017, 9:08 pm AEDT

Re: Life can be a Pain

@outlander, you found it - earlier today, about your health - glad you're getting better. I like to think you & I have an understanding that if we don't respond its no malice. I just don't know what yo day and sometimes find it hard just reading troubles as my shield is thin a lot and it goes in, becomes part of me, especially if I'm trying to be helpful with my responses. Obviously some days better than others. And I forget everything. I know this is hard for people to handle, even here. Guess I'm a 'present moment' contributor. I remember some histories but not everyone. Its like its not real because I can't see faces or hear voices (expression & tone of voice). Thanks for understanding.

Thanks @Former-Member, I've been looking for an email response from @Former-Member after my callout before. Will check again shortly but just need to take a short break, grab a cuppa maybe ta. Also, know ya all but sy with Friday Feast 😃

In response to: Re: Life can be a Pain

outlanderSenior Contributor17 Nov 2017, 9:16 pm AEDT

Re: Life can be a Pain

im really glad you think like that @Former-Member i do try to respond but i dont have the life experiences of some of the older members so find its best if i step back. i can sympathise with chronic pain and mentl health due to the physical stuff and mental stuff going on.

a 'like' from you is enough support so even if you dont know what to say, i know you have the troubles youve just written so its an understadning between us. i comment where i can, the same as you. i ahve trouble keeping up with alot of people too, im only on a few threads mainly and then others ill pop in as i can or find something that i can contribute to.

it can become a pretty sticky situation when you cant read the people your talking to, no tone or body lanuguage to help out with. just words on a screen really. thats why i like to add in emojis, it kind of sets the tone a little bit.

but if you do want to talk, please do tag me and ill see where i can help you out i do hope you get this situation sorted out as it really is unpleasant to be in. feels really unwelcoming and we start to avoid being here even though this is our main source of support

In response to: Life can be a Pain

utopiaSenior Contributor17 Nov 2017, 9:19 pm AEDT

Re: Life can be a Pain

@Former-Member - after my many stays in hospital this year, it has taken a while to come back to the forum. I've been out of hospital 10 weeks, but the depression is only lifting now. So I'm still not 'back here' the way I was before. I'm not sure it will ever feel the same as before. As I've been through too much.
But I'm slowly trying to respond to old friends on here. Haven't got around to everyone yet.
Sorry to hear you are having a tough night. Hopefully things will work out - after talking to the moderator.

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