Depression Loneliness Isolation

Yes @Lula I knew about your situation as I responded to your post a few days ago.

Believe me the traffic and parking in both Sydney and Melbourne are completely crazy. I happened to have been to both recently.
It sounds like you are still driving which is great to be able to get out and about. I like a drive in the country. Unfortunately petrol prices are making that more difficult!

@Till23

sorry I didn’t reply to you here Till. Some days I am so overwhelmed and exhausted by everything that I can’t keep up.

I moved to this retirement village a few years ago, and wish I’d never done it - there’s quite a long story there. It’s in the same area as where I lived privately before.

I've had a few GPs over that time because the one I had before, who although he was the best GP anyone could ever hope for, got to retirement age, so finding a new one hasn’t been easy. Like anywhere else in this country now GPs are in short supply - especially for this area because so many people have moved here post-Covid. Lots of practical things here now are not enough for what’s needed for the population.

As you said …”able to drive and still have your own car, you could go into town, which is familiar to you, maybe meet up with people from outside the village, or take a drive to get out of village a bit. Or sometimes there’s a bus that takes people out on trips or shopping” - yes to all that but I have been so unwell with anxiety and depression I haven’t been able to manage much and I’ve had very little support. I have no family, friends too busy, have their own problems etc, this retirement village has no community spirit etc. And exercise - again so unwell with anxiety/depression, the hot weather for months now and lack of motivation has made that very difficult.

Got to do other things now Till. Bye for now

@MJG017

I don’t know what I was thinking about on Saturday and why I said I wasn’t having a good day. Because of the stress of all this my days are so full with so much going on in my mind I can’t remember. Also when I replied to Till23 earlier I had logged in here using my email address as password and then somehow got logged out before I could reply to you. When I tried to log in again with that I couldn’t, but found I could log in with ‘Lula’ and the same password - I could feel my stress levels rising again over that. But I can’t access your precious messages while I’m typing this one now

Go figure - aargh !
Why don’t you see a Dr about whether you could be on a spectrum M ? It could perhaps help you a lot. You know how it is … people often can’t help if you don’t ask for it, and we have to do what we can to help ourselves, even if it might be a challenge. It could make a big difference in a positive way.

Will talk with Doc tomorrow about a spectrum I could be on M.
One of the things about being on a spectrum (don’t know which) is being vulnerable to noise, music etc that I can’t control - that is very me, especially currently. Much as I find the silence here difficult, it’s bouncing off the walls sometimes, but I also sometimes don’t want the noise of tv, radio etc either (at home) I have to turn it off - it’s a catch-22 situation both ways 🤷‍♀️

Sorry you’ve been unwell @Lula with MH problems it makes everything more difficult.

Hopefully when you start to feel a bit better you can do some gentle exercise, take a leisurely drive in the car etc.

Sounds like you’re starting to make some deeper connections with other people though.

Yes I’m lucky my GP is younger than me, but she will retire at some point.

Hope you are able to still your thoughts, at least for a short time.

Hope your GP appointment goes well

@Lula

I checked my browser settings and I definitely log into here with my email address. I haven't tried with me username, but some websites will give you the option of username or email address and then the password. I'm assuming Sane must be like that if you could log in with Lula. I hope you can see all of the messages now though.

I've thought about looking into seeing if i do have any mental health diagnoses, but I just have other important health issues to worry about so I guess it's just a case of others more important things to worry about. It would be interesting to know though.

So did you talk to your doctor about yourself and being on a spectrum? I'd be curious, as I have no idea what any of the process involves.

There are certain noises that i can tolerate for very long. Loud noises just give me a headache. A room full of people talking just overwhelms me. Even small noises, if i notice them, sometimes I can't get them out of my head and they're too distracting. I've never really like sounds in the background when i[m doing something. I know alot of people like music/radio/tv on as background noise, but I dont like that at all. I tend to find it just too distracting when i'm doing something so i never have anything on for 'background noise'. I listen to music in the car, but that is it. I don't listen to it at any other time.

@MJG017

Thanks M for your reply.

Doc said I am not on any spectrum. I’ll try to write more tomorrow. Lula

@MJG017

Hello M. It’s been ages since I posted, and I don’t know why really, but here I am and looking forward to hearing from you again. I haven’t forgotten you. You have been such strong support for me and I am so grateful for that - thank you.

Lots has been happening in our world, near and far, and so much of it not good. Where I am we’ve had more rain than we want or need. Where I am I, and many others, are high and dry, but some who live along the river have had some challenges. We have had so many overcast and rainy days - so I’m really missing blue skies and the sun, which does make so much difference, and the change in the season is happening as well. I’m sure you notice that too, when it happens where you are. Time for the lightweight doona now 😊.

But we’ve had nothing like so many people in our north. It’s hard to imagine how they are coping with it all in the very many ways it must be affecting them - it must be so incredibly stressful and frightening.

My biggest challenge recently (apart from the depression) has been that I had a fall and got myself a badly bruised forehead, a black eye and a night in hospital, having a CT scan and other tests. All this hasn’t helped my depression either.

I’ve had a change in medication which is helping a bit, but it hasn’t really kicked in yet, so better days to come I hope.

I wonder what news you might have to tell. I do hope all is well for you M. As always I wish I was able to connect with you by phone M, I’d really love to be able to do that. I am feeling lonely and feeling the lack of understanding company. And I’d like to be able to support you too.

Bye for now M, Lula

Hi @Lula

Well I'm glad you're still around and it's nice to know you get a lot out of out chats, as I do as well.

It hasn't really been wet here in Adelaide. A tiny bit, but not much. Apparently our reservoirs are at record lows. So definitely a sign we haven't had much rain in a while.

I'm sorry to hear about your fall. It sounds like it was quite a nasty one! I hope you're well on the mend now. Hopefully the new medication helps with the depression, it really is so exhausting to live with.

I wish I had a bunch of good news to share, but sadly, that's not the case. My GP arranged a teleconference with a specialist he knows in Hong Kong, for a bit of a second opinion. It wasn't great news, although he presented a couple of promising options, I just don't know if they will be available to me. One I know is very expensive here in Australia. I actually did some media interviews (newspaper and radio) to help get this drug on medicare. It was successful and was put on late last year. The trouble is that because of it's cost it was only made available as a last resort treatment. And because it's now on the PBS, the cost went up from about $30,000 to $100,000 overnight. My GP is sending a letter to my oncologist about every thing we were told from the specialist, and I see him next Thursday so hopefully we can come up with a plan. I'm not really sure I have much faith in the public system when it comes to these more complicated cases though. But we'll see what happens. Maybe I will have some better news after that.

I'm sorry you're feeling lonely. I know how hard it makes everything. I would happily called you if I could. I know how hard it is for some of us to make connections with other people... and keep them for very long. I am here though and of course, always happy to chat with you here.

Take care Lula.

@MJG017

HELLO M 😀

Reading between the lines, you sound as tired as I feel. Great that you have supported the push for the medication you were talking about, and perhaps I’m picking up that the process is more than a bit disillusioning for you. But you know better than lots of us here to hang on tight to hope, gratitude and positive thoughts, and it may all work out for the best for you and others. I hope so. It’s pretty outrageous though that the cost skyrocketted like that, it makes the mind boggle 😵. Why does that have to happen ?
Apart from the usual reasons, I’m extra tired at the moment because I’m needing to do practical self-care things like have a check up on my vision yesterday (it was overdue 😏) which also resulted in getting new frames for my specs (damaged in the fall) and a couple of procedures (1 down today, another to go next week) at the dentist - my least favourite place to go to, so much so that I needed to take an anxiety tab to cope with it.

Today the sun came out and brought a beautiful blue sky with it which has been wonderful - it really lifts the spirits. I took myself to my favourite cafe for a coffee after the dentist today and basked in the sun at an outdoor table until I had to leave because they were closing.

It has to happen, but I’m going to miss daylight saving when it leaves very soon. We’ve been too hot so often for so long this summer, so I wonder what winter will bring this year - the weather is totally unpredictable these days, so it’s a day by day, wait and see, play it by ear thing now.

Nothing more to tell M, so it’s by for now. You take care too, and do what makes you happy and feel good to put a smile on your dial, and don’t let the turkeys get you down. Ciao Lula xx

Hi @Lula

I must be good at reading between lines. I ready your reply and thought "you're right.". I am tired. Physically, mentally, and emotionally tired. Some days I can hide it better than others. Obviously when I wrote to you, it wasn't one of those easier times. Much of the past week hasn't to be honest. But it's chatting to caring and supportive people like yourself that does get me through.

The price rise, from my understanding (so take it as my opinion and not fact) basically comes down to government negotiations. When a drug is likely to be put on the PBS so that medicare will pay for it, there have to be negotiations as to how much the company gets paid by the government. So maybe it's just a coincidence that as soon it was recommenced for funding by the medical advisory board (which always sees the recommended drug make it on to the PBS) it's price more than tripled overnight! Maybe i'm just cynical. Maybe i'm also cynical that they're currently suing a cancer treatment place here in Australia for using their own version of the drug... which is a lot cheaper than even their original price. Meanwhile people needing the treatment are dying earlier than they need to be. <rant over>

I can't say the dentist is my favourite place either. Some broken teeth will attest to that! They're so expensive as well. I know there are some funded places you can use that are very cheap, but i've heard a couple of stories from people who have used them and it just put me off. Plus I have more things to worry about than a perfect smile now.

I'm going to miss daylight savings as well. Even in winter, I like that bit of extra daylight. I like it, but not enough to get up earlier to enjoy it. I just struggle in the mornings so I tend to do as little as possible in them. It takes a while for the old body to get functioning these days.

There are definitely a lot of turkeys and clowns around. It's like Christmas at the circus! 😂 But I do, and hopefully always will, try to get me down and stay as positive as I can. I hope you can keep finding you own little happy places to go to as well.

Take care, enjoy any sunshine you get, and see you for now.

M