Depression Loneliness Isolation

@MJG017

Hi M

I’m wondering how your week has been and if it’s been any better than last week. Mine hasn’t been great I’m sorry to say. It’s basically been all hard slog getting to Friday night, and I had another big session at the dentist today as well, it was incredibly expensive too. So I’m feeling really low to the point that life seems surreal. I’ve been thru times when life seems surreal before, but somehow it’s different this time and I don’t know how to cope with it. It’s such a difficult feeling to have. I wish I could talk with you M. Lula

Hi @Lula

It's sounds like it's been such a rough week for you, I'm sorry that it hasn't been a better one for you.

Dentists seem to be the worst of everything. The pain, discomfort, the dread... and then you pay through the nose for the privilege! Nothing about it is fun or easy. Are you at least finished with it now, or do you have to go back? I hope the worst is over as far as the dentist is concerned. With everything else as well I guess, but there always seems to be something around the corner to surprise us. I'll keep my fingers crossed that it's starts to get easier for you. It's stressful when things start to feel different and we're not sure what's going on.

I know it's hard not being able to talk, but always feel free to reach out here, especially if you feel like things are starting to get on top of you.

As for me, my week has been really busy. I started out with 2 full days of assessments for my course I'm doing. I've submitted all my assignments as well so I'm completely done for term 1, which is a relief. I had some of my support group work to do and an oncology appointment on Thursday morning. The Friday morning getting to the airport to fly over to Perth to catch up with a good friend. It's the first time I've flown in about 45 years! I was not prepared for how cramped it was. I was sitting the in the window seat and I started to feel cramped. It started to feel like when I had an MRI a couple of years ago, and it gave me panic attacks! It's the only time I have experienced them. I managed to stay relatively calm, but I never really felt comfortable, and I'm not really looking forward to the flight back.

But apart from that, it's been a great trip so far. Its my first morning here and it already feels like I've left all my worries back in Adelaide. I know they're still there waiting for be to return, but I'm having such a nice time here catching up with my friend that I'm not even thinking about anything else. It makes me realise how important it is to have people around you for support, and even just to spend time with. So I really wish you had someone similar there to lean on. Just try to never give up. AIt only takes one chance meeting with one person that you 'click' with and life can feel a lot more positive. Especially for those of us who have always struggled to make strong connections with people. We've been chatting for ages now and seem to get on really well. It's just some rules which are the hinderence. So maybe try to take some confidence from that and remember that there are people out there who will value your friendship.

As always, take care Lula, and sending you some of these strange positive vibes I have at the moment.

M

Hi @Lula

I haven't heard from you in a while so I just wanted to say hello and ask how you were going. I think the last reply would have been during my first morning during my visit to WA. I had such a great time and just it was so great to have a week where I just left all of my worries and concerns back in Adelaide. They came back with a vengeance as soon as i got back but the break was great and I had such an awesome time spending most of it with a very good friend. I know some people take things like that for granted, but having spent so many years of my life alone, I know just how lucky I am to have a partner here and a friend I can talk to regularly. I know how much you must miss having that, and how much harder it makes everything without it.

I hope you doing okay, and i hear back from you soon.

Your friend,

M

@Mj017

Hello my friend M. I’ve not long arrived back home from Melbourne - it’s 5.30pm and I seem to have been all day getting here. So I hadn’t even made a cuppa yet, but sent my friends down there a message to say “I’m home and all is well - I think. I’m feeling a bit disoriented and unsettled. Missing you all already 😫😘🤗❤️” then opened my email to find your post M, and how lovely that was. Thank you - I am so happy to hear from you, and so very glad to know you had a wonderful time in WA, then an even more wonderful time going home to the loving arms of your partner, even if the worries and concerns were there to greet you as well.

My three friends who I stayed with all did what they could to entertain and/or support me. One day was a trip out in the country and to Trentham (where there was a potato festival 😅) which was lovely, another was a couple of hours with the ex-husband of one friend out in the countryside - the You Yangs and Lara - on his motorbike - I had to get all the bikie gear on - appropriately padded jeans, leather jacket, biker boots and helmet. I loved that and I’d line up for time on the back of a motorbike ANYTIME.

We saw this movie - If you get the chance go see the movie "Tinā" - a New Zealand drama film, released in 2025, that tells the story of Samoan teacher Mareta Percival, who takes on a substitute teaching role at an elite private school after struggling with the loss of her daughter. It’s a really special movie and quite profound. It will be showing here soon, and I intend to see it again - it’s the kind of movie that’s very thought provoking and there’s a lot to take in, which is why I want to see it again.

We 3 girls stayed a night in a motel at Mornington, before we went to the Peninsula Hot Springs to soak in the spa and by the time we left I felt like I was so waterlogged I thought my skin would start dropping off.

I did spend a lot of time alone and fending for myself though. Nearly every day I was popping an anxiety pill to get me through the day, though I didn’t always tell them that. They were all working at different times, two of them either working from home or going in to the office. When they were home and working it was very quiet and no conversation at all. Where they live is in an area of Melbourne I don’t like - it’s full of cookie cutter type houses and theirs is quite a hike to the nearest train station, there are no buses and I couldn’t use their cars for various reasons.

So I’ve come home to a cold and empty villa, and it’s quite an anticlimax. I don’t know whether I’m glad to be here or not to be honest. The silence is deafening. The weather here is worse than Melbourne - 4 days of plenty of rain ahead and pretty chilly too. It’s been mostly dry and warmer temperatures in Melbourne, which is crazy.

So coming home to find an email from you really cheered me M - thank you so much. I’m sending you a virtual hug M 🤗. Bye for now Lula

@MJG017

Hello my friend M. I’ve not long arrived back home from Melbourne - it’s 5.30pm and I seem to have been all day getting here. So I hadn’t even made a cuppa yet, but sent my friends down there a message to say “I’m home and all is well - I think. I’m feeling a bit disoriented and unsettled. Missing you all already 😫😘🤗❤️” then opened my email to find your post M, and how lovely that was. Thank you - I am so happy to hear from you, and so very glad to know you had a wonderful time in WA, then an even more wonderful time going home to the loving arms of your partner, even if the worries and concerns were there to greet you as well.

My three friends who I stayed with all did what they could to entertain and/or support me. One day was a trip out in the country and to Trentham (where there was a potato festival 😅) which was lovely, another was a couple of hours with the ex-husband of one friend out in the countryside - the You Yangs and Lara - on his motorbike - I had to get all the bikie gear on - appropriately padded jeans, leather jacket, biker boots and helmet. I loved that and I’d line up for time on the back of a motorbike ANYTIME.

We saw this movie - If you get the chance go see the movie "Tinā" - a New Zealand drama film, released in 2025, that tells the story of Samoan teacher Mareta Percival, who takes on a substitute teaching role at an elite private school after struggling with the loss of her daughter. It’s a really special movie and quite profound. It will be showing here soon, and I intend to see it again - it’s the kind of movie that’s very thought provoking and there’s a lot to take in, which is why I want to see it again.

We 3 girls stayed a night in a motel at Mornington, before we went to the Peninsula Hot Springs to soak in the spa and by the time we left I felt like I was so waterlogged I thought my skin would start dropping off.

I did spend a lot of time alone and fending for myself though. Nearly every day I was popping an anxiety pill to get me through the day, though I didn’t always tell them that. They were all working at different times, two of them either working from home or going in to the office. When they were home and working it was very quiet and no conversation at all. Where they live is in an area of Melbourne I don’t like - it’s full of cookie cutter type houses and theirs is quite a hike to the nearest train station, there are no buses and I couldn’t use their cars for various reasons.

So I’ve come home to a cold and empty villa, and it’s quite an anticlimax. I don’t know whether I’m glad to be here or not to be honest. The silence is deafening. The weather here is worse than Melbourne - 4 days of plenty of rain ahead and pretty chilly too. It’s been mostly dry and warmer temperatures in Melbourne, which is crazy.

So coming home to find an email from you really cheered me M - thank you so much. I’m sending you a virtual hug M 🤗. Bye for now Lula

Hi @Lula

It seems like my post was timed perfectly. I have no idea what a potato festival is... apart from a festival involving potatoes obviously. 😁 I do like the idea though as there really is no bad way to have potatoes. Roasted, mashed, hash brown, and of course hot chips! I used to have something my mother called 'mock fish' growing up. I'm not sure if you've heard of it, maybe by another name (potato pancakes?). It's basically grated potato and a bit of egg made into like flat patties and shallow fried. I loved them growing up and I still do them every now and then.

It sounds like you had a nice little getaway to Melbourne. I'

m not a huge fan of those cookie cutter houses that seem to be all the rage these days either. It's a pity you had to spend the time alone while you were there, but I guess if I was looking at the bright side, it's better to be alone with other people nearby, than home and alone. I know that's really stretching for a positive but it sounds like on the whole it was a nice trip for you, especially the hot springs and the bike ride! I'm trying to picture you riding around on a motorbike without thinking of you joining a bikie gang 🤣

I looked up that Tinā film and it does look really good. I'll keep my eye out for it when it's on streaming. If I went to the Cinema, i'd have to do it by myself and i feel a bit weird about doing that. It's just a me-thing i guess. I've seen some great New Zealand films over the years. Hunt for the Wilderpeople was a great one. Also Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings films) started off doing some small New Zealand films may years ago before he hit the big time.

It does take a bit out of you getting back home to the silence and loneliness. While it's always nice to be back home and safe and comfy, it also feels like coming back to the loneliness and depression. I find these days, even just coming home from an hour or do doing something I enjoy with some other people is hard. Maybe because it's so rare these days. I really appreciate and enjoy these rare chances, but it just makes the coming back home even more difficult.

Thanks for the big virtual hug. I've received it and have returned my own. 🤗 I'm happy to hear that my message was sent right at the right time and cheered you up so much.

Take care Lula,

M

@MJG017

Hello M

I wish I didn’t have to say this, but the fact is I’ve been back ‘home’ for four days now and already. feeling very low. Apart from a couple of medical type appointments I’ve not had much contact with anyone. But strangely enough I woke this morning feeling really quite good, but … it didn’t last. Apart from a near miss driving in traffic, just ordinary things dragged me down. I seem to go downhill and get anxious so easily now, it’s really frustrating and so hard to cope with. Sadly I don’t find being back ‘safe and comfy’ as you say - it is safe, but the silence is deafening and I feel like I’m in a vacuum, it’s quite a surreal feeling sometimes. I needed to pop quite a few anxiety tabs in Melbourne, and probably should have had one this afternoon, but I didn’t. I’m caught between not wanting to have to take meds and the benefits of taking them

You said if you went to a movie you’d have to go by yourself - I can only imagine you say that because your partner doesn’t like cinemas. Whatever, it is worth seeing and a pity to miss it, but your choice obviously. The movie starts here on Thursday, so I’ll definitely be going one day soon. I’ve suggested it to a Facebook group I’m in here, but I might end up on my own anyway.

Poor ole Melbourne, and Victoria generally, is dry and dusty and here it is where I am in NSW dripping wet - there’s been so much rain. Just incredible. Some of the days since I’ve been back there have been regular dumps of really heavy rain throughout the day, it clears for a while and then another big dump and now the weather forecast is for lot of rain are for the whole east coast over the next week or so. I wonder if you’re getting much ? I think it’s needed there too.

About what I called the potato festival … it’s held annually in Trentham (that’s in Victoria) and is actually called a “Spudfest” … they were celebrating “Our People, Produce, Region” - lots of food stalls selling potatoes prepared in all sorts of ways - pancakes, chips etc, and even some craft things using potatoes, which were quite funny. And no, I’ve never heard of ‘mock fish.’

I’m just rattling on now, because really I don’t have much to say, but did want to touch base with you M. I’m going to bed now.

Nite M, Lula

@MJG017

Hello M - remember me ? 😬. It’s been a while I know. I’m sorry. And you may be wondering if I’ve been so waterlogged I can’t type anymore 😫. For me it’s not that bad. Where I live I am/was high and dry, no building leaks no flooding Already it’s been a week the BIG rain stopped here, but what a week it was. But for all the usual obvious reasons in disaster situations as we had I was stuck at home, couldn’t get out in the car or go anywhere for any reason. Just incredible rain. I lived through a serious cyclone threat once years ago in North Queensland but it was nothing like we had here that week. On each of the main four days the rain was absolutely relentless and on a couple of nights I went to bed listening to the rain bucketing down SO hard and fast it was deafening and noisy and sleep took quite a while to come. Since then the local news for this area and posts on Facebook have been and still are now so overwhelmingly sad and depressing. Soooo many people have lost absolutely everything and it will be a long time before they get back to some form of ‘normal’ - some will probably never get back to it.

And more recently on the news that SA is getting dust storms because of no rain and the wind and some of that is heading our way in NSW. I am so sorry you’re all having a bad time of a completely different kind M. We sure do live in a country of extremes don’t we !
I’ve been out and about a little bit but the dramas of this weather situation has badly affected me emotionally, and my anxiety has gone sky high a few times, so I’m keeping a low profile a lot. There’s so much help needed but so very little that I can do. I did donate a big bag of various things to help people be warm, and volunteered at a centre that distributes all sort of donated things to help people - food for people and pets, cleaning equipment, clothes, blankets etc. etc., but that’s about as much as I can do.
We've started having a few days and nights that are quite chilly, but overall the weather is milder for this time of year than is ‘normal’ - for the next four days here the forecasts are for max temps of 21-23.

Love to hear from you when you have time M, and hope that all is going well. Bye for now, Lula

Hey @Lula

I had been wondering where you had gotten to. With all the crazy weather recently I figured that probably had something to do with it. I was planing just to send a quick message to check in, but kept forgetting because I haven't been very active ere recently due to... well... life getting in the way I guess.

It great news that you had no leaks. We have a broken tile ans so there is now a small hole in out kitchen ceiling that leaks with heavy rain! I was a little brown stain, but someone (not saying who) decided to poke at it only to discover it was a paper thin weak spot.

We had a few minutes of the deafening rain here the other day. It was so loud! I thought it was rain, but turned out to be hail! Our house is downhill from the road, and the council are so uncooperative and if the drain next to our driveway blocks up, all the water just comes down our (and our neighbours) driveways. The first time it happened 3 years ago (and the worst time) the water got into out house and did about $25,000 worth of damage to the floors, which needed replacing. It was all done under insurance but it's such a pain having to move everything out and then back in. Still it's far better than loosing everything, which sadly happens to people.

We did have a massive cold front come in from the south. It looked like a cyclone that was trying to form on the satellite map! There were bands of rain, but it was mostly the destructive winds. There was also an unusually high tides along the coasts. The winds did kick up a lot of the dust, but that was more out in the regional areas so we didn't really get the dust here in suburbia.

It sounds like you helped out as much as you could, and certainly more than a lot of people would. People in the city anyway maybe. Even with you anxiety sky high like that! It may not feel like you did much, but it sounds like you did quite a bit to me. So I say well done and give yourself a massive pat on the back.

I hope you're still dry and keeping warm.

M

Hi @Lula

I'm sorry it's been so long. I don't know where the time has gone! Not that it's an excuse, but i've been busy with my studies and the cancer support work. I say busy, but not too busy to get on here and send a message or two, so I can only apologise for that. Mentally, it hasn't been a great time for me this year and so I'm just not on here very much anymore. I am trying to keep up with friends i've made here though, so apart from apologising, I just wanted to say 'hi' and see how you are doing.

Last time we spoke you had been having issues with all of the rain. We're finally getting a some regular sunshine here, still a bit of rain, but the nice sunny days are finally helping. Hopefully it improves my mood a bit. It's been so hard the past few months! I think i've gone backwards a bit into that old habit of self-isolating... more out of feelings of being overwhelmed than anything. And while I have become better at it the past 3 years or so, this year has been so hard and I think i've taken a lot of steps backward. It's not to say there haven't been wins. I have a dinner this week where i've been selected as a finalist for 'peer work student' award with my studies. So it's not like i've distanced myself completely from the world. But at the same time, I think it's taken a lot out of me mentally and emotionally, and i've distanced myself off from other things and found myself going back into the old 'self-isolation' mode out of habit. Like you've said in the past... complicated.

Other than hopefully enjoying some sunshine and warmer weather, what else has been happening with you?