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Life challenges

Life challenges

So I wanted to share a bit about myself and what I'm facing in life.

I've had health issues throughout my life things like arthritis, scoliosis, heart problems etc. Things that have mostly been able to be treated with medications. But last year I was diagnosed with cancer and it's been a hell of a fight ever since. I've undergone several surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation therapy and things were looking ok. But recently I was told that the cancer had spread and I'm probably not going to make it to see my 50th birthday which for me is less than 3 years away.

I haven't got any support around me and this information has been hard for me to process. Whilst I knew my life was on borrowed time it never really sunk in until I was sat down and told the facts.

As you can imagine with everything I've gone through during my life I suffer from mental health issues and recently that's become alot worse. For me I don't want to get to that point where my body is shutting down.

I don't like not being in control but at the moment everything is out of my control, I'm reliant on medical teams, medications, other people trying to work out what the next step is. I'm unsure whether I want to put my body through more chemo or radiation therapy or whether to just let this ride its course. Even doing it it's only going to buy me a little bit more time so is it really worth it or do I just try to enjoy what time I have left.

Anyway that's a bit of my story and what I'm facing. Thanks for reading.

305 replies

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In response to: Life challenges

Re: Life challenges

I’m so sorry to hear that @Eve7

I hope you are as ok as you can be given the circumstances.

In response to: Re: Life challenges

Re: Life challenges

One day at a time @Till23 is all we can do.

In response to: Life challenges

Re: Life challenges

@Hopeandlove

I hope these are something close to that peaceful place you described.

In response to: Life challenges

Re: Life challenges

@Eve7

I'm sorry to hear about your mum.

In response to: Life challenges

Re: Life challenges

Dearest @Hopeandlove

I'm so sorry you were in so much pain last night. I can only imagine how exhausted your body and mind must be.

I'm glad the nurse stayed with you, reading that beautiful poem. And those stunning photos of the ocean and dolphins, what a peaceful sight.

When my dad was near the end, he spoke to someone we couldn’t see. We never knew who it was, but it brought him comfort.

I hope you're still with us, but as @Oaktree said, it's okay to let go and step into the light.

We're here with you, holding you close.

Love

Snuggles 🫂🩵

In response to: Re: Life challenges

Re: Life challenges

It is with great sadness that I let you all know of the passing of Hopeandlove [edited by moderator]. She slipped away peacefully at 4.17am this morning. Earlier (3.20am) before she passed she mentioned sitting in a field of daffodils being surrounded by you all, you were watching birds fly as the sun shone down brightly, she whispered 'don't be scared, don't be sad, this is where I'm meant to be, I love you all, thank you'.

I have a letter to share from her that she wrote on Friday (it's typed on her phone so I'll put that up shortly).

Over the last week she talked so much of her new found friends and how special you were to her, how much you helped her and made her feel that she was not alone. 💙 (blue was her favourite colour and she wanted me to make sure i posted a blue heart for you all)

In response to: Re: Life challenges

Re: Life challenges

Here is the letter.

To all the beautiful people at Sane

Thank you to each and every one of you that responded to my post. When I first reached out I was in a dark place and not sure where to turn to for support or if I was worthy of it.

After chatting and some encouragement I decided to share a bit of my story. I'm so glad that I did, I never expected to receive so much love and support from people that were complete strangers. Little did I know what was to come and how things would change so quickly with my health.

My life has been filled with trauma and cruel words and actions at the hands of others. I was unsure how to accept the kindness and compassion from others. Everyone that reached out to me, that shared their stories, that made me feel worthy and valued, that made me feel loved, you made such a difference. All the hurt that I've experienced doesn't matter now, I've let the past go. All that matters now is knowing how much I'm cared for here and to know that I'm not alone, to know that I am loved and that my life mattered.

Thankyou to all who chatted to me, sending me love and hugs, sharing pictures and tranquil scenes to imagine.

Please continue to enjoy nature for me, listen to the birds chirping, smell the flowers, listen to the wind rustling through the trees and the waves crashing on the shore, watch the butterflies and the dragonflies dancing through the air, stare up at the night sky and watch the stars.

I hope it brings you peace knowing how much you all helped me. I don't feel alone, I feel like I have friends all around me because of each and every one of you that took the time to care, you didn't leave my side when things got tough, you stayed with me and held my hand, guiding me through this journey to the other side.

Sending you all my love, take care of yourselves and each other. 💙

Please on my birthday (2nd April) release a flower for me on the ocean, river, lake or stream. As you watch it float away remember me and remember the difference you made.

[edited by moderator]

 

@Former-Member @MJG017 @Eve7 @Till23 @Oaktree @tyme @Ru-bee @rav3n

I think that was all that I had to tag, please add anyone if I missed any.

In response to: Re: Life challenges

Re: Life challenges

Thank you so much for sharing this sad news with the Forum's community!

@Hopeandlove demonstrated such bravery and strength in their last days and made so many new friends here. It was so lovely to see them connecting and sharing their experiences with their peers.

We will miss @Hopeandlove in the community but celebrate them as a beautiful and loving friend of the community!

Thank you again for letting the community know 💙

RiverSeal

In response to: Re: Life challenges

Re: Life challenges

@RiverSeal thanks for the kind words. At the request of Hopeandlove I will leave her account open today and support any posts that come through, at the end of the day I will sign out.

In response to: Re: Life challenges

Re: Life challenges

It's my pleasure, and thank you for supporting @Hopeandlove with this and posting for the community. 💙 RiverSeal

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