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Life challenges

Life challenges

So I wanted to share a bit about myself and what I'm facing in life.

I've had health issues throughout my life things like arthritis, scoliosis, heart problems etc. Things that have mostly been able to be treated with medications. But last year I was diagnosed with cancer and it's been a hell of a fight ever since. I've undergone several surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation therapy and things were looking ok. But recently I was told that the cancer had spread and I'm probably not going to make it to see my 50th birthday which for me is less than 3 years away.

I haven't got any support around me and this information has been hard for me to process. Whilst I knew my life was on borrowed time it never really sunk in until I was sat down and told the facts.

As you can imagine with everything I've gone through during my life I suffer from mental health issues and recently that's become alot worse. For me I don't want to get to that point where my body is shutting down.

I don't like not being in control but at the moment everything is out of my control, I'm reliant on medical teams, medications, other people trying to work out what the next step is. I'm unsure whether I want to put my body through more chemo or radiation therapy or whether to just let this ride its course. Even doing it it's only going to buy me a little bit more time so is it really worth it or do I just try to enjoy what time I have left.

Anyway that's a bit of my story and what I'm facing. Thanks for reading.

305 replies

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In response to: Life challenges

Re: Life challenges

I am glad you are getting psychosocial input @Hopeandlove

I wasn’t sure about your questions, so decided to suggest the most practical thing I could think of at the time.

I think most people have questions at your time of life, I know many people who have had those sort of unanswerable questions.

Don’t post for us @Hopeandlove, the only person you need to think about is you so only post if it’s helpful, comforting etc for you.

In response to: Life challenges

Re: Life challenges

@Hopeandlove

I've found similar things in that when you don't even know what to feel, it ends up just being numbness. I assume that's just the shock.

I've also found that as there is less and less time ahead, we tend to look more and more to the past, but it does tend to be a double edged sword. I think we just do whatever we have to to cope with whatever the current situation once you're told it's inevitable.

And if venting is all that comes to ming when talking to someone there, then vent away. I'm sure they understand and if there is one positive now, it's that it's only about you and what you want. Sending big virtual hugs your way.

In response to: Re: Life challenges

Re: Life challenges

@Till23 I'm posting to keep myself connected and it's comforting to know I'm not alone in this 💙

In response to: Re: Life challenges

Re: Life challenges

@MJG017 the numbness is unbearable, I want to be able to feel something, anything.

There's not a future so the past is all I have to think about.

It was good to get things out and the psychiatrist was compassionate and listened to every word I said.

Thank you for the hugs 💙

In response to: Re: Life challenges

Re: Life challenges

Well that’s great then @Hopeandlove

because we are here for you

It’s good you could vent to psychiatrist and they were compassionate

You are definitely not alone in this my friend.

Sending you virtual hugs and lovely virtual nature scenes. It’s hot where I am today but the clouds are coming over. The dragonflies and butterflies are flying around looking for water.

There’s a slight breeze so there’s wind in the trees.

My dog is not happy because I just gave him a bath, but I just gave him some treats because he was a good boy about it.

In response to: Re: Life challenges

Re: Life challenges

Hey @Hopeandlove ,

We are all sitting around you, holding your hand.

You have been, and are, brave.

You have been, and are, strong.

You have been, and are, in control.

We are so glad to have connected with you. What an amazing privilege.

Close your eyes. Take a trip to your favourite place and tell us what you see and feel.

I am sitting in the sun. I smell the fresh air. I hear the birds and the rustling leaves. The warmth of the sun surrounds me.

Hugs @Hopeandlove

In response to: Re: Life challenges

Re: Life challenges

hey there @Hopeandlove

i can't imagine what you're going through but i'd love to sit with you and keep you company.

i hope you know that we care about you heaps, and are rooting for you. 💙

In response to: Re: Life challenges

Re: Life challenges

Hi @tyme . I can feel your presence by being here. Knowing that you all care so much fills my heart 💙.

Thank you for your kind words 💙

I'm seeing myself sitting in the rainforest, there is birds chirping, butterflies flying around, the trees are letting glimmers of light through, the leaves gently rustling in the breeze. I can feel the soft grass under me as I lay staring up towards the sky. Nature is bliss, these thoughts is something I will miss the most.

In response to: Re: Life challenges

Re: Life challenges

Hi @rav3n . I would like that. I had a little bit of a rest before so I'm just laying here catching up with the lovely people here, passing the time.

Thank you for your kind words, I feel so loved and supported here 💙.

In response to: Re: Life challenges

Re: Life challenges

Hello @Hopeandlove I am glad you were able to have a rest and are maybe feeling at least a little less tired, hopefully your pain has also diminished.

Where I am the clouds are coming over after this hot day and we may get a thunderstorm. I thought I heard a distant rumble. I hope it rains for my garden. Do you like storms @Hopeandlove
I am sitting on my verandah listening to the lorikeets feeding on the berries of one of my trees and chatting to each other. The magpies we’re having a good old chortle before and “my” kookaburra was swooping my lawn for worms and other insects. The slivers of sun coming through the clouds is turning the leaves of my shrubs a very bright green.

My dog is fast asleep after his bath.

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