Don’t want to accept the pain

Sometimes, I tell myself it was just about passing the time so I was further from the thoughts 🤞

Hope it is carrying you to a calming slumber @creative_writer 💜

@creative_writer I get this... one step at a time, okay? Life is bloody hard sometimes. Juggling our mental wellbeing, work, health, chores, family, friends, creative ventures, any other commitments we may have... it's truly a lot. 💛

I hope this all helps you to feel more grounded so you can rest tonight.

I would love to hear some of your poetry if you ever feel like sharing. 🤗

@Jynx I am feeling the effects of my meds. I’m going to try to sleep. My throat feels a bit sore too, hopefully I’m not coming down with something. I hope you are able to rest tonight. I’ll talk to you when you’re on again 💖.

@AuntGlow it is a lot. There is so much to juggle. Right now the focus has been on getting myself well. I might share my poetry another time. Wishing you a goodnight 💖

I am not okay. These urges are so overwhelming. Resisting is so hard

Sitting with you @creative_writer

I know these urges have been hard to ignore recently, what are some things that have been helping you to resist them when they come up for you?

Is there anything on your safety plan we could do now?

@Ru-bee I know I don’t want to do it but I don’t want to live like this. I guess the biggest protective factor is my faith.

I don’t know what to do. All I can do is keep trying to not do it. I can’t stop thinking about doing it, I wish I could. Even if I try to distract myself and do other things, I feel so consumed by it

It sounds like this is really exhausting @creative_writer

Are you feeling safe from your thoughts at this moment? And is there anything we could do to make you feel even a little bit safer right now?

@Ru-bee I’m safe for now. Even if I take certain things out of my room, my mind will always think of another way. I don’t know how I can make my space safer. I can always take another PRN, though I don’t want to become too reliant on it. If I take it for too long, I’ll get withdrawals once I stop.

I’m just tired. I’m tired of living with bipolar. I’m tired of body flashbacks. I’m tired of struggling so much. My strength is fading

Alright @creative_writer I'm glad you're safe for now, and I guess we can keep the PRN as an option if you need it tonight.

I'm hearing you and how tired you are right now. It does take a lot of strength and it's understandable if some times you just can't summon that same strength.

Is there something nurturing that you could do for yourself? Perhaps making yourself a matcha if you haven't already today, taking some time to pray, making yourself a nourishing meal...whatever feels nurturing to you and is accessible and doable

@Ru-bee I hate having to stay strong. It’s exhausting putting that front.

Might try some prayers, I’ve already had my afternoon matcha