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creative_writerSenior Contributor
Why can’t I pretend the pain isn’t real, maybe if I tell myself I’m okay and I don’t struggle with mental health I’ll be okay. Maybe if I tell myself that the traumatic memories aren’t real, then I can finally feel whole and less gross. Maybe I’ll just wake up from this dream soon and I’ll find peace within my mind when I do wake up. Maybe I’m okay, maybe there isn’t anything wrong with me
In response to: Don’t want to accept the pain
creative_writerSenior Contributor
TW
I can’t help but feel like it would’ve been better if I died than go through it. I feel guilty saying that, I know I was meant to live
In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain
JynxModerator
@creative_writer 🫂🫂🫂
Makes sense hun. Try not to beat yourself up about it too much, seems like a natural thought progression to me.
How does it feel to have expressed it here in the real?
In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain
creative_writerSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain
0ddsidianSenior Contributor
Hi @creative_writer ,
Just letting you know that @Jynx is having their break right now. They'll be back in about 30 minutes. I'm hanging our in here while they're gone (and will probably be a bit more present over the next couple of weeks).
It's the worse when you just sort of start feeling a particular way and can't pinpoint the trigger. My anxiety likes to do that to me quite frequently. Are there any strategies that normally work for you when you're feeling this way (e.g. distraction)? Super proud of you for recognising a way to keep yourself safe tonight.
What are you currently watching on TV?
In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain
creative_writerSenior Contributor
@0ddsidian maybe it’s building up for some time. Things have been rough with bipolar lately. I felt like I needed to be away from my room because my mind will creatively find something to destructive to so. I’ll wait till I settle a bit before I go to my room alone.
I’m watching Mehmed: Fetihler Sultani with English subtitles
In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain
0ddsidianSenior Contributor
@creative_writer The cyclical nature of bipolar, hey? So you're going through a bit more of a depressive period? Alone time is such a Catch 22; sometimes you need it to recalibrate and other times it's more dangerous. Sounds like you know that about yourself though ❤️
Nice! I find it so impressive when people can keep up with subtitles. My brain likes to shut off after probably 10 minutes...
In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain
JynxModerator
@creative_writer moody moods outta nowhere can be so frustrating hey hun. I'm sorry it's all feeling so heavy. I'm here with ya.
Glad to see you and @0ddsidian having a chat!! I think you two would end up in similar big topic convos like you and I seem to!!
How's the movie going?
In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain
creative_writerSenior Contributor
@0ddsidian bipolar is indeed cyclical, but sometimes people can have depressive periods with agitation. I’ll go to my room after I take my night meds, it’ll be easier to resist with my meds.
You do need to pay more attention with subtitles, but that can be a good thing too
In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain
creative_writerSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain
JynxModerator
@creative_writer perhaps it comes back to narratives? Maybe you don't even need to define it as a 'sexual experience' when it was actually just traumatising. There was nothing sexual about it because sexuality is about connection, and that was about power.
What do you think?
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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