@Hopeandlove
No worries at all. Do what you can and reply to what you can and when you can. there's no pressure at all. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone here and that I can identify with a lot of what you're going through and if I can do anything to support you then just let me know, or i'm just here to chat.
Support groups weren't my thing either, as was admitting how i was feeling, as was talking to psychologists/counselors. So much of this stuff in new to me, but it does help. It doesn't all work, but if you find a support that fits for you, it's a big help. Even if it's just having someone to talk to, or even just vent to, or let some emotions out. I remember very well when everything was just so overwhelming that I didn't even know what to do from minute to minute, let alone day to day. For the past 2 years, i've very rarely thought any further than my next appointment or test result. Looking past those just brings too much pain.
Again, i'm so sorry that you've joined this awful club none of us wants to be a part of, but you're not alone, and there's no such thing as dealing with it the wrong way.