Regaining my spark

Thanks @Former-Member

We need to catch up properly soon.

I am hoping things are okay with your daughter & husband.

Thinking of you

The early morning colours and the sweep of the breaking wave are beautiful. @oceangirl

Gershwin: Life is best when we improvise.

I am sure you will find it.

That's a great description of my profile picture @Appleblossom

I agree life is best when we don't live beyond our means and appreciate the things that makes us happy and that does not mean having lots of money either, my first love was sport and surfing. I think that is going to be a huge part in my recovery.

Thanks for believing in me and supporting me. You are a beautiful and caring person apple.

Take care of you xox

Someone said to me recently,I see the worse in everything,he was nearly right,I perceive everything as a threat due to exacerbated fears anxiety and depression has caused.I only need one trigger of many to make me feel like I have no control of my life to cause the chaos in my head.This is what happened today.I did a 10 km walk tonight ,didn't help,made myself go even though I was tired and just wanted to go to bed to keep myself safe. Understand the diet thing,when I suffered severe reaction to anti depressants in 2013 had to eat healthy and exercised a lot.I have walked since then like Forest Gump ran,plenty of time to think,never found myself or got rid of problems with the variations of anxiety and depression eg:distress,numbness,breathing,illusions, hopelessness , suicidal thoughts etc.I go to such a dark place,which scares me .

@Former-Member Good for you for going for such a long walk - how long does that take you? Have you tried other exercise- strength training or boxing. I have been seeing an exercise physiologist for the last two years and it has helped me a lot. I find I have to do more then the cardio exercise to help with my anxiety and I need quite an intense workout.

I have really struggled the last few wks with my exercise because of my fatigue and still trying to overcome it. Its horrible feeling to overcome and nothing really seems to work.

Do you get any help for your anxiety & depression?

I am sorry to hear about your severe reaction to medication (anti depressant), I've had a severe reaction to other medication too. I have to say it is one of the scariest thing I have had to go through. In terms of your negative thinking have u seen a psychologist about this or undertaken any CBT or ACT program. I think you could access some therapy to move beyond this and I think it will find that you will get a good result from having some treatment to help with managing your anxiety and depression.

I would encourage you to get some help and not sure if you are receiving any help atm but perhaps you need some adjustment to your treatment plan. I am sorry you are struggling. I do believe you can get help and you may not overcome all your symptoms but many people do have complete recovery from depression and anxiety. However they tend to make lifestyle changes to ensure they stay well.

Have you had a checkup recently it might help to see a GP to have a checkup and to make there is no underlying physical problem (thyroid etc). Having thyroid problem can affect your mood and energy levels. I do understand how you feel and I try to hold onto good memories before my depression and the spark I had growing up, it was quite special. Look after yourself!!

Hi again @Former-Member

No probs. I'm not convinced anti depressants are the answer either. I am sorry to hear things are not easy for you. I started to notice I was unwell in 2012 and I was admitted into hospital in 2013.

I think the only way forward is to tackle the problem or to get to the root of the problem. I wish you well in your journey and hopefully you are able to get some relief from your symtoms. There is a percentage of people who get depression who don't recovery fully and that is roughly around 10%.

I just thought it might be worthwhile to get a second opinion and see if that helps. You may not have been getting the right combination of treatment or have connected well enough with the person you are working with.

In terms of strength training is there a reason why you don't like strength training?

Thanks ocean girl and Pepsi Max

I still see a psychologist,travel hour and a half to see her,went last week first time in three months,probably have to see her again this week.dont know have my doubts about if it's "help"eg:opens to door to hint to you that it's time to go.As stated on these threads at times you are judged or told what to do,and it can do more harm than good.I have had "help"since 2013 at the end of the day I am just one that wasn't meant to be anything,might sound self pity but true.They challenge me over my "reality",but at times I know I'm right.No one can understand,no smart a*** sitting in that chair can help ,nor can I help my life circumstances.As mentioned on this site I was severely overweight as a child, I have lower limb weakness from it and get knocked up easily.I don't know ocean girl, couldn't walk today too tired.I don't think strength training is for me I can only do moderate exercise.If you enjoy it that's good ,walking is like my time for meditation,and you must enjoy strength training.