Life and trauma

@Former-Member

You said it... "right now". I get that. But right now doesn't mean never. I think a couple of months ago you would have just said "it's impossible." Now you're saying things like "right now" and "seems to be". That it itself suggests that although you cant see it, there is a part of you that now accepts it's possible. I know the difference seems trivial, but it's a massive change and first step. I think I said a while back that often the first step is not to change, not even to think you can change, but just start to doubt the way things are now are permanent. I see that doubt in you now. Some days more than others, but it's there.

@MJG017 perhaps you're right. Anyway that's enough about me now. I need to focus on something else.

How did your appointments go?

@Former-Member

Well the hypertension specialist said I was free to choose whether I come back and there's no much else they can do about my hypotension and the blood pressure drops. I agreed. So no more of that. My GP looked at my PSA numbers, looked at me and said "that's depressing". I agreed.

He asked if I'd thought about paying to see a private oncologist, just for a 2nd opinion. Even if it was just for peace of mind. I said I had thought about it. He is Chinese and said he knows an oncologist in Hong Kong who is a extremely good specialist in prostate cancer who may be willing to talk to me. But that medical costs in Hong Kong are very expensive compared to Australia. He rang me a couple of hours later and said this guy was happy to talk to me. So i think i'll go forward with it. It will cost between A$500-600 but worth it as this point. So he can set up a teleconference in his office and send my records to this guy beforehand. So i think i'l call back tomorrow and go ahead with it. Its either some good advice/peace of mind that everything that can be done is being done, or that $600 Lego Ferrari! Part of me wants the Lego Ferrari.

The support group went well tonight. We had a guest speaker and at one point we were give lube to try out... and I made a bit of a mess. Don't ask... I have no idea either. Prostate nurses!!

That was my day.

@MJG017 ok so one less lot of appointments to deal with when it comes to the hypotension, although it's frustrating that nothing else can be done. And the PSA levels can bugger off, that's not good news and I'm sorry to hear it.

Getting a second opinion for peace of mind sounds like a good option even if it is rather expensive. I'm glad that he was able to work that out for you and that the other guy is happy to talk to you. I really hope that something good can come out of it, well i have everything crossed for you that it can. That Lego Ferrari will just have to wait a little bit longer.

Very interesting being given lube to try out, my mind really does jump to all sorts of random thoughts about that one 😂.

@Former-Member

Yes, it was a mixed day. But some positives so that was good. This guy may just say there's not much else that can realistically be done at this stage, but better to know now than (quite literally) die wondering.

I should add, just to quell those mental images, we all just tried it on a spot on our hands. Or in my case, all over my hands, the bottle, and the table. And a bit of my muffin. Someone brought snacks.

@MJG017 I'm glad there were some positives. Well I'm hopeful that just maybe there is something that can be done.

Don't mess with my mental images, it's giving me a good little giggle 😂. Trust you to make a mess with it while everyone else was being sensible 😂. Hope you still enjoyed your muffin and that it wasn't too slippery to hold being all lubed up 😂.

@Former-Member

It is hard to imagine how to mess up a bottle that has a spray pump top... but those of us very special individuals can manage it.

I want to say that I didn't get to eat the muffin because it slipped out of my hand and shot across the room.

...

I didn't eat the muffin because it slipped out of my hand and shot across the room.

@MJG017 Some of us are just really talented like that 😂.

Now I can just picture this muffin flying across the room, slippery little sucker 😂

@Former-Member

Like a wet bar of soap... only more tasty.

What can I say... it just comes naturally to some of us. 🤣

@MJG017 oh it really does come naturally to some of us, me included 😂.

I need to sleep but i can't switch my brain off. It's rather frustrating really cos I'm so tired but I'm scared to sleep.