Life and trauma

@Jynx it takes forever for each page to load, it's doing my head in 😂. But I have to wait patiently cos I need the forums right now.

It's so frustrating, like my brain has to overthink every possible detail. What if that colour doesn't match that one, what if that one is too dark or too light. My brain has to learn to chill the hell out.

I need a magic off switch. Like right that's it it's time to sleep, close the eyes and boom that's it, off to the land of nod 😂.

@Former-Member omg you're telling me!! My lil ADHD gremlin-of-restlessness (who likes to rattle the bars of his cage every time I have to sit still too long) has been VERY LOUD. Ahaha sometimes my leg bounce is so intense it rattles the lil decorations on my nearby shelf.

You got like a 'sandbox' kinda area? Like a canvas or a sketch book where you can test out colour combos and stuff.

OMG right? A switch for sleep, and like, one for 'remembering to take meds and eat regularly despite hyperfocus chaos brain' ahaha

@Jynx

I need the medication reminder. I keep forgetting the morning tablet that my psychiatrist introduced a couple of weeks ago. Sometimes I remember but today I didn’t, whoops

@Jynx bahaha those leg bounces are insane. I thought it was just me that made things shake, rattle and roll when that leg gets going 😂 .

Yeah I can test out colours and combinations but it was all just too much for my brain to think about.

Thankfully I don't have to worry about taking medication at a set time as mine is just to help me sleep but I'm not even taking it anymore cos it wasn't doing anything anyway. I forget to eat cos I just get distracted doing things and I don't have an appetite.

Honestly @Oaktree this is exactly why I am a smart-watch convert!! I used to hate em, thought they were soooo tacky and lame. But the ability to have daily alarms that aren't disruptive, and set timers (like 4 hour timer for my ADHD meds for example, cos I don't always take them exact same time every day) has been a GAME CHANGER. Do you set an alarm reminder on your phone at all?

@Former-Member hahaha yep it's hectic ay!! Like I could report it to the eartchquake watch as a tremor LOL.

Oh aye, esp if sensory overload was a factor too. Did you find a crafty thing to get stuck into instead?

@Jynx omg lol, me too 😂.

I did the duck in the art club thread and I can't even remember what else I did. Serious brain fog happening here 😂. Oh wait that's right i had a stress attack cos I couldn't find my eraser, so that was an end of the world moment 😂.

I'm sitting on my bed doing my colouring now though. Hands are shaky, body is restless, head is off with the fairies. Gah it's going to be a long night. I'm refusing to take meds again cos I've broken that trust with myself so for me it's safer to just not take anything. So I'm on my own fighting depression, anxiety, bpd, ptsd, ocd and add in autism and adhd, all without medication. It's going to be a bumpy ride so fasten your seatbelts and hold tight 😂. Yeah I have to laugh about it otherwise I'll cry and that just gets messy.

@Former-Member noooo not the eraser!! My symbol of control over past mistakes!! Hahaha do you ever get like 'locked on' to a particular thing (like finding an eraser) and like, even if in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter THAT much, you just can't let it go and you just GOTS TO FINDS IT OKAY PRECIOUS ...? Or is that just me? 🤣

Heck yeah, humour is a phenomenal way to cope. Very human 😉

Lol like 'oh umm universe? Yeah I just got out of hospital maybe we could chill with the... no? Theme park rides of doom again? Okay fine.... let's go then' 🙃

@Jynx totally not just you. I have to keep going until I find it otherwise I just can't settle, it's ridiculous to be honest but it's just how our brains work i guess 😂.

I have a crazy sense of humour and also dark humour, I'm that person that can't be serious about things that as an adult I really should be, but where's the fun in that? 😂.

For real though it's just one thing after another, I want off of this roller-coaster, just for a little while 😂. Maybe I can ride the dodgem cars and dodge some of the problems, you know pick and choose which ones I want to deal with 😂.

@Former-Member yep! Happened to me when going out once and I nearly missed the gig I was going to cos I had to find this ONE PARTICULAR NECKLACE and like... no one would've cared but me lol but here we are!

Yep you and me both!! I really do think that the one of the biggest lies our society tells us is that being serious all the time is a mark of adulthood and maturity. SO BACKWARDS!! Which is why I like the quote, "We don't stop playing when we get old, we get old when we stop playing."

Hahaha yes please! Better than this teacup ride I'm in, like so many spinny spinny circles why can't I get offffffff 🤣

@Jynx I'll literally turn my house upside to find what I'm looking for if I have to. Like I need it and I need it right now 😂.

Ohh that's a good quote, I like it. I just refuse to grow up and act my age, there's no fun in being an adult.

Eeek not the spinny circles, I get dizzy enough without spinning around 😂.